Feb 14, 2012
bluemoonbaby commented on
Savage Love.
@11 -- I wholeheartedly agree. I am a woman. I am anti-circumcision (as a rule, not as a medical treatment). I believe that it *is* genital mutilation, though of course not to the same extreme as FGM.
Sep 1, 2011
bluemoonbaby commented on
Savage Love.
I'm amazed that more people don't talk about how there are more than 2 ways to use porn (I keep reading about "using it to spice up your relationship" or hiding to watching it in secret behind your partner's back) -- what about all of us who watch it openly and with some regularity just because we feel like it?
Having nothing directly to do with our relationship, but both partners are fully aware, engage in it, and occasionally discuss it later. It generally happens when one of us is away, but there's never an element of secrecy. I just don't get the narrow views of porn.
Aug 24, 2011
bluemoonbaby commented on
Savage Love.
@81:
As Austin Powers said "That train had sailed" -- boy has it sailed. you want to reclaim the word pedophile? good luck, sweetie; and I'm saying that as someone with fantasies that range considerably out of my age range.
Aug 24, 2011
bluemoonbaby commented on
Savage Love.
Hey, PORTLAND a-hole: the phrase is "Keep Portland Weird (or Beered, or Beard, or Queer, or whathaveyou)" NOT "Keep Portland Skeezy". Quit making us look bad.
Aug 16, 2011
bluemoonbaby commented on
Savage Love.
wow. didn't think the name "rick santorum" could make me want to vomit any harder...
Jul 26, 2011
bluemoonbaby commented on
Savage Love.
@19...what?
anyway, CPAS is in a relationship with someone who reminds me of who I was starting to become. I never truly got to the point of physical violence, but I always feared it. I was unfair and overly-needy in relationships and took it out, both aggressively and passive-aggressively, on my partners. I was jealous, insecure, and constantly frustrated. I would get furious over things I sometimes couldn't even identify, and then more angry when my partner would call me out or get angry back.
The road to self-discovery only really started after I was dumped. While I regret not having the opportunity to change during the relationship (there was no frank discussion of my behavior and how it was affecting our relationship), I have no regrets about who I've become and the partner I was lucky enough to snag after doing so much work. I've learned to be much more up-front about my needs, and also to find multiple ways to get needs met. I've learned to express when I'm jealous and to channel it into better actions.
Still working on it all, but I agree that DTMFA is the right action -- for both parties.
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