Kinky Ana
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Apr 21, 2015 Kinky Ana commented on I, Anonymous.
I have no idea what the OP wishes people had done. Helped mop up her kid's puke? Because, no. I would be insta-puking myself, and that wouldn't help at all. Take the kid to security or something to get a doctor? I am genuinely baffled. But apparently that would have made me the asshole in this situation in which she didn't just ask for whatever it was she wanted.
Feb 11, 2015 Kinky Ana commented on Savage Love.
I'm a 49-year-old female. I had fantasies about capture and power exchange from my earliest memory. They weren't explicitly sexual because I had no idea what sex was, but it retrospect they were BDSM fantasies. And before anyone jumps to conclusions, I had an absolutely nurturing, non violent childhood, never even spanked, etc. Maybe a little sexually repressed (upper middle-class Jews, no Internet so the closest I ever saw to porn was a Playboy in someone's house when I babysat).

But still, the kink orientation was there, god knows why. I watched Flash Gordon on HBO over and over for the scene where he's tied up and whipped. I found a Star Trek novel where Kirk was tortured by some alien princess and read that scene until the book disintegrated. Once I hit puberty, all of my fantasies were about rape, including gang rape.

And I didn't indulge any of this until I'd been having sex for a few years, and the most extreme stuff not until well into my 30s. Some people are just kinky. And since I was figuring this stuff out in the 1970s and '80s when there was no Internet, and no "out" BDSM community that a rural teenager would ever be able to find, I spent a lot of time thinking I was sick and weird and wrong. This may very well be the case with the son, and with the right resources, he may be able to discover that not only is he sick, but there are girls out there who like this stuff too. But they may not really feel comfortable about it til they hit their 20s, and that's okay.
May 28, 2014 Kinky Ana commented on Savage Love.
I think for at least some of women who can climax from anal alone (I don't have a giant sample set . . . myself and a few friends), it's x% indirect clitoral stimulation (as Dan is fond of reminding us, most of the clitoris is internal), x% indirect G-spot stimulation (anal seems to really activate the G-spot at least for me), and x% psychological (if you're really into anal, especially perhaps if you're doing it as part of a D/s game that already has you all worked up, the extra 'naughtiness' can add a fair bit of je ne sais quoi). ymmv of course. Also, I see what you did there with "I wouldn't question it too much, lest the Lord peg you."
Apr 4, 2013 Kinky Ana commented on I, Anonymous.
What, nobody thinks the dogie could benefit from a nice bowl of Cocaine and Malt Liquor!?!
Feb 19, 2013 Kinky Ana commented on Savage Love.
Damn it. I *knew* I should have gone on a honeymoon. Now I know why.
Jan 8, 2013 Kinky Ana commented on Savage Love.
FWIW, I've never heard the term "throuple" . . . sounds vaguely like a combo throw pillow and dust ruffle. At least in my poly circles (San Francisco and environs), the standard term seems to be "triad." Amongst my friends and also in common parlance as in, pricing for events ("$15 for singles, $25 for couples, and $30 for triads." Or whatever . . .)
Jan 18, 2012 Kinky Ana commented on Savage Love.
I volunteer at the Citadel in San Francisco as a dungeon monitor . . . basically a hall monitor in sassier clothing. The "house" safeword is "safeword"--that way players can yell anything they want during a scene without triggering an interruption, but if I hear someone yell "safeword," I'll come over, stop the scene, and see if everyone's okay. (If I hear someone yell "red," or "stop," or "that's it you bastard, you're off my Christmas card list," I'll wander over and observe for a bit, make sure that this really is just part of the fun. We do everything possible to avoid interrupting a scene, but if it looks like the bottom is having a bad time, we'll politely interrupt and make sure everything's okay.)

@16 . . . I can answer a little bit of the "what happens when things go bad." I think like any nonideal situation it's very case by case . . . and the joke is "it's always the top's fault." Which is not to say that the bottom can't contribute to a bad scene, but the top does have greater responsibility, since many people go pretty deep into subspace and can lose some judgment as they let themselves get overwhelmed by sensation.

I have been in one scene that went badly--it was a negotiated resistance scene where the bottom was supposed to fight back, hard. Basically, a takedown by myself and another woman of a big, strong guy. And it went pretty much as we negotiated but, for various reasons, it turned out to be way more emotionally triggering than he expected and he ended up really devastated. I sat with him and held him for hours, and felt horribly guilty. It all worked out okay, and we all still play together, but it was pretty unpleasant, and now I would negotiate much, much more carefully and even if someone says they want a really intense, violent scene, I'd ramp up way, way more slowly and check in more, even though that's not what he thought he wanted.

Another friend of mine had a scene go badly because someone thought one of her hard limits was silly. Basically, she doesn't mind being beaten, whipped, fisted . . . but she hates getting water on her face. He thought that was funny, and splashed her with water. She ended the scene and never played with him again. Respect someone's hard limits even if they strike you as weird.

FInally, I had a friend whose "scene gone badly" story involved someone having an asthma attack while in bondage. He got her untied, got her inhaler, and she was okay but it was really harrowing and scary for both of them. Lesson there? Be sure to tell your top about any physical conditions that might come up . . . if he'd known, he could have done different bondage and had the inhaler handy.

Nov 22, 2011 Kinky Ana commented on SL Letter of the Day: Sex and the Demanding Boyfriend.
@57 . . . I don't really understand your point. Of course it's doable to have 5 to 8 orgasms each session (I certainly hope it would be more during the 120-minute session, for cryin out loud!), but why would that mean no more for the day? My boyfriend and my personal best was 9 orgasms for him in one day, which probably meant, I dunno, 50 or so for me? (We counted a day as 24 hours, by the way, so there was definitely some resting in there. We're not crazy or anything.) I mean, i'm with you most of the way, but not entirely sure why shaking legs, soreness, dizziness, or inability to stand would make someone want to stop. Perhaps you're doing it wrong?

And for those who note he'd be shooting blanks by time 4 . . . that's what I've found. generally orgasm 3 or 4 is where the bloke runs out of actual ejaculate, but that doesn't mean no orgasms. In fact, weirdly, sometimes it seems like the "dry" ones are more powerful--almost like the body is trying so hard to produce something that it's more intense. But that's based on a very small sample size, so just a random speculation.
Sep 28, 2011 Kinky Ana commented on Control Tower.
@10 . . . I certainly hope you're joking! Or I feel bad for your lovers. I'm lucky enough to be sleeping with someone who's confident enough in his sexuality to wear sexy male-stripper undies . . . which look darn fine with a giant hard-on. Darn fine, I say.
Aug 5, 2011 Kinky Ana commented on SL Letter of the Day: Name That Poon.
"Cunt" in the heat of the moment, "pussy" more generally in a sexual but not "do me right now" moment, "naughty bits" in polite company. Of course, my semi-sexual best friend talks about doing stuff to my "junk" and I find it adorable, but not sure I would from anyone else . . .