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Oct 20 Gamebird commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Post-Marital Counseling.
I recall trying to sit my husband down and tell him that the marriage wasn't working for me, and that he either had to address my concerns and make things worthwhile to me or else I was going to file for divorce. He dismissively told me there was nothing to discuss and walked out. I sat there in the empty room thinking about that. Within the month, he was flabbergasted to be served with divorce papers. His surprise was the most confusing thing of all.
Oct 18 Gamebird commented on Savage Love.
Dump Trump and his supporters, too. Fuck him over at the polls, but nowhere else.
Oct 18 Gamebird commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: The Cheaters Club.
Anyone who tries to force you into a rapid decision on something like this needs to be cut from the decision-making process. In this case, that would mean ending any remaining 'monogamy' of the relationship and splitting up. You can always get back together later if you, after careful consideration and perhaps talking to the therapist about this, think that's best. But I'd bet my bottom dollar that if you break up with her now, she won't be interested in getting back together with you later on your terms. There's a power dynamic going on here with her trying to rush you to a decision.
Oct 18 Gamebird commented on John Oliver Shreds Third Party Candidates Gary Johnson, Jill Stein, and Joe Exotic.
@24 - I agree, especially that Trump's issues are self-evident. However in talking to those who hate Hillary Clinton, their views are different. They say, "She had her political rivals killed", "She let our people in Benghazi die", "She helped/condoned her husband sexually assault women", "She's a career politician and therefore corrupt/on the take/etc." The facts really don't support these accusations, but on the other hand, things you (and I) regard as self-evidently wrong are things many people are perfectly okay with: sexual assault of women, making fun of people, being crude, rude, and unqualified for office. It's shocking, I know, but there's a big segment of our population who WANTS an unqualified buffoon in office. I think they believe it will be funny (and a middle finger to the 'powers that be'), they think they have nothing to lose, and they hope that such an idiot will disrupt and derail the political process so they can hopefully reshape it into something more beneficial for themselves.
Sep 28 Gamebird commented on Savage Love.
Did anyone else get the vibe from LW1 that he actually gets off on the humiliation of his girlfriend finding out and being angry with him?
Sep 27 Gamebird commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Practically Married and Completely Sexless—And Want It To Stay That Way.
LW needs to have these discussions (open relationship, divorce, couples counselor, etc) with her partner BEFORE he has surgical alteration to please her.
Sep 11 Gamebird commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Your Pussy Had a Plan.
My experience with a man who sounds similar to the dude the LW hooked up with (except in my case I married him and endured 17 years of abuse), is that he thought my role in the relationship was to do my best to conform to his fantasies. This applied even when those were contradictory or logistically impossible, such as to earn all the money for the household, but still allow or enable him to believe he was the breadwinner and head of household ... or ... do all the housework, meal prep, and take care of small children, yet still be available at all times to listen to his stories, play games with him, go places spontaneously, and show interest in whatever he fancied. He didn't worry himself working out how these things he wanted were to be accomplished and honestly, I believe he was pleased to constantly have me in a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't bind. It gave him a convenient excuse for the emotional abuse, manipulation, and humiliation.

He was 16 years my senior.

LW - please take Dan's advice to heart. Dump this guy. He's not for you and he never will be. He's for himself. And while you shouldn't expect someone else to live for you, you have nothing to apologize for in living your own life.
Aug 30 Gamebird commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: My Girlfriend Lives With Her Ex-Boyfriend And That's Not The Problem.
Count yourself lucky that you found out where you stood with her at this point and not, like, later on when you had more than a few feels invested.
Aug 30 Gamebird commented on Shut Up About Trigger Warnings....
I'm on board with some kind of content thing. It's like that website that tells you if the dog dies at the end of the movie. I might want to know that going in (or choose not to see that movie if that's what happens). I can't exactly watch a trailer about a written work (or most linked videos), so something up front that gives a description of what I'm about to get into it is helpful.
Aug 10 Gamebird commented on Savage Love Letter of the Day: Worst Breakup Story Ever.
If you're going to go the adoption route, consult with an attorney. You might be unable to put a child up for adoption without the consent of both parents, which the guy might refuse to give. He's already shown himself to be untrustworthy and willing to hurt someone he said he loved. You may be legally unable to surrender your child without your ex's permission.