commented on Savage Love
I was going to say what Crinoline said. Though my thoughts were more along the lines of assault than 'some tiny little thing'. Because if you change your mind at any point in time, getting yourself out of his place is going to be a helluva lot easier than getting him out of yours.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Model Behavior
He should dump her for her own good. And then he needs to get himself back into therapy and work through the concept of taking responsibility for his own actions and their consequences. Add to that a liberal dose of the idea that he does not own anyone else, nor can he control them or demand that they answer his questions. He has NO right to demand answers. The demanding, cloaked as just needing answers, just asking questions, etc. is an attempt to control, punish, and demean. He should stop that. Doing it consensually in a scene or even as a lifestyle with someone who is into it is cool and all, but nothing about being a slave or sub makes a person los their agency.
commented on SLLOTD: Word from Midori
When I had sex with my husband at times for his pleasure, solely, rather than mine or mutual, what I wanted was some recognition of that fact from him - some appreciation, some gratitude, some thanks, some expectation of eventual reciprocation. Sort of like how if he said he was in the mood for Italian and I said I wasn't really, but I didn't have a strong opinion, so let's go anyway and maybe some other time I'd get to pick. That was a purely theoretical exchange with him, of course, because I quickly learned that anything like that would cause a sulking fight over how I was going to 'make him pay' to go out for Italian and as a result we wouldn't go out at all.
He was an emotionally manipulative, abusive asshole. I suspect the LW is much less of one, but there's still a problematic dynamic going on when his response to her doing something nice for him is to criticize her for how she's doing it rather than making it worth her while to please him.
commented on SL Letter of the Day: His Anglican Organ
Pussy-whipped and cunt, when used as insults, are ... wait for it ... insults. Sexist insults, on par with telling a male that he's 'acting like a woman', or 'screaming like a little girl', or 'throws a baseball like a girl' or any other phrases that imply being female or female-like is a horrible thing to befall a poor guy.
Those saying that pointing this out is being over-sensitive and looking for offense are basically saying "What you're saying makes me uncomfortable and I think I'm the privilege-bearing entitled person here, so SHUT UP because I say so."
commented on SL Letter of the Day: The Tell-Tale Handjob
Yeah, sounds like she might have done the elaboration about the handjob as part of a dirty, made-up story to get him off. Might not have happened at all. Or maybe it did, but you won't know if you jump on her about it. (You might never know for certain if you do - but what you know for certain is that you have an otherwise great marriage, so run with that.)
commented on SL Letter of the Day: Insane Demands
Another thing having those pictures (or just seeing them) allows her to do is compare herself to the wife and emotionally manipulate the man with the information.
"Wow, she's really heavy. Aren't you glad you're with someone who has a much better body than that?"
"You know she loves that vibrator more than you. I would never bring a sex toy to bed as long as I have you around."
"She has such boring undergarments. You deserve better. Look how exciting mine are!"