Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn
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May 22 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Trees, Believe It or Not, Hate Your Dog.
Seattle does have an especially large dog population, and trees...? How often do you even see a tree in Seattle? Never. Dogs killed them all. Case closed.

Next the Stranger will remind you dogs in restaurants give everyone horrific diseases. Norm's allows dogs, which is why everyone who ever went to Norms is now dead. We all see they're dead with our own eyes. Dogs.

Case closed.
May 20 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Socialist Kshama Sawant Wants Colin Kaepernick to Become a Seahawk.
"Imagine how much low-income housing we could build if..." Sawant hasn't spent 20 minutes writing this letter, and instead spent an additional 20 minutes of her time working to get affordable housing built. I estimate that would translate into at least 5,000 additional units.

I bet if Sawant could get by on one less hour of sleep, we'd see more than 15,000 additional units constructed. That's per DAY people.

God. When you think about it, this football letter is the most selfish thing Sawant could do. She's basically evil incarnate, what with her power to fix all the bad things, provided she never fritters away any of her omnipotent minutes. Yeah.
May 20 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Socialist Kshama Sawant Wants Colin Kaepernick to Become a Seahawk.
If Sawant is so terrible what does that say about all of those who can't unseat her? Oh, wait. It's because Seattle voters are so terrible. Got it. You hate democracy, because any random idiot with a pulse can vote. While you're here participating in an anonymous public forum. Where any random idiot can try to persuade other random idiots. For the purpose of...?

Just fuck off, troll.
May 19 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Conservatives on Twitter Still Convinced That the Deadly Accident in Times Square Was an Act of Terrorism.
When Obama was in power they yearn for a successful terrorist attack to show Democrats can't protect America. When Republicans are in power, the want terrorists to succeed as an excuse for their fascist agenda. Conservatives and Al Qaeda thrive on murdered Americans.
May 19 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Police Reports Illustrated: Man Refuses Shotgun, Gets Hammered.
The old SPD would have put business cards in these guys' hands besides just arresting them.
May 16 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on The Case Against Impeaching Trump.
Every time Republicans stand by Trump, they hang his deeds around their own neck. Keep demanding they act. Keep demanding impeachment. Let them keep refusing. They're digging their own grave.
May 15 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on I, Anonymous: It's Seattle. It Rains Here. Get Over It..
Remember when I, Anonymous was scandalous and juicy?
May 9 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on I, Anonymous: You Made My 5-Year-Old Cry.
I have all kinds of loose accessories attached to my bike. They're always there. I suppose the day will come around when somebody takes my tire patches or something but thats a small price to pay for years of not having to unhook or lock up all that shit every time I stop.

There's just not that much crime any more, except on TV.
May 5 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Police Reports Illustrated: Bike (Frame) Assault with a Soda Motive.
...still ignoring how much less often any cop has to deal with this kind of thing (or any kind of thing) and how much better supported they are when they do. Cops used to have whole days filled with crazies, and they were left swinging in the breeze, and hardly appreciated for it at the end of the day.

A cop today is living in some kind of Star Trek utopia compared to a cop 30 or 40 years ago. Levels of comfort, ease and compensation they never dreamed of in the old days.

But yeah, go back to your bitching. Bitch away.
May 5 Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn commented on Police Reports Illustrated: Bike (Frame) Assault with a Soda Motive.
Cops are better paid, better trained and equipped, and work shorter hour now than any time before. They even get to sleep later when they change shifts, rather than having to get up earlier. Fewer cops than ever are killed in the line of duty. Even accidental deaths and injuries, mostly from car accidents, are way down, because cars and driving are so much safer. And on top of all of it, there's less crime than ever, so in the midst of all this better pay, shorter hours, and better conditions, there is less actual work to do.

So yeah, guys, if you don't like it, quit. Please don't stick around because of our feelings. Maybe it's just Seattle that's a bad fit for you? Lots of cop jobs out in opioid addiction country. Give it a try.