Steven Weissman
Hundreds of us faceless, anonymous workers man the security gates at sporting events. We are given a list of prohibited items that we're required to confiscate or store (for $20 per item) in an effort to keep the crowd safer. Sometimes I feel bad for people who have to ditch their belongings. Other times, however... it shouldn't be a frigging shock that A KNIFE would be on such a list. Knives are not allowed in the stadium. Not even a cute little two-inch Swiss Army knife. You were so nasty to me, a mere peon, as if I had made the rules. As you grew more and more rancid, I began to see the point behind the ban. You threw the tiny knife toward the trash. I later saw it in a crack in the pavement. It should come in handy in my backpack. Next time, clean out your pockets first and don't bully the very people trying to keep you safer. You dumb jerk. recommended

—Anonymous



To submit an unsigned confession or accusation, send an e-mail to ianonymous@thestranger.com. Please remember to change the names of the innocent and guilty.