Steve Weissman

Dear braless theater patron: You came to the Uptown to see After the Storm, a charming Japanese film about rekindling family ties, but you failed to rekindle your relationship with your bra. I totally get it. Who needs a pesky underwire poking you in the rib while you're trying to FEEL something? I assume you popped it off and set it on the seat next to you. Except you forgot to bring it with you after the show. One of our volunteers found it, and it's now in our lost and found. I think you were probably too embarrassed to come back for it. But bras are expensive, so please don't buy another one. You can come and reclaim your lost undergarment, no questions asked. We won't judge you! And next time, do yourself a favor and skip the bra entirely when you come to the movies!

—Anonymous



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