steven weissman

I'm on to you, Granny. We both know that I've seen you, and that little dog, too. The rolling through the hood at 4:30 in the morning in your PJs and slippers, dog in tow. You park at the church, then both of you get out and walk half a block or so, "Scruffy" poops, and THEN, veritably dragging little "Scruffy," you slink back to your car and burn rubber from the scene. Who does that? If you're just out having a little "Senior Adventure Time," well, yee-haw! Live it up! But for the love of Jesus, TAKE THE POOP WITH YOU! It's the law! The kids running to the school bus will really appreciate NOT having their sneakers smell like "Scruffy" shit all day after stepping in it! That sort of "shit" pisses everybody off. You, the dog, and the shit leave together. Now you know.

—Anonymous