I, Anonymous: I'm Going to Kill You If You Click That Mouse One More Fucking Time

Comments

1
I hope this deranged stalker is not a library employee.
2
@1 Yeah, this was a strange anon. What a nut job.
3
@1: Oh gosh no. Library employees would dream to have problems of this low concern.
4
Keep on clicking on! If you are annoying someone predisposed to being annoyed by minor things, you are doing something right.
5
This guy's got serious mental health issues, I mean having elaborate fantasies about murdering someone because of how they click their mouse and print documents? I suspect we'll hear more about this lunatic, such as when he's arrested for actually doing something that vicious and deranged.

And it's a good thing he didn't check out her fonts and margins, he might have snapped and killed us all.

To Anon: Get help, willya, your dire need is obvious to everyone but you.
6
ROTFL Total socialist - uh I mean communist- sorry I mean “democratic” Seattle posts. Maybe most posters havent heard: mental health resources in this country are remedial at best (that means they “suck” for the college readers). Its why, in part, you have mass shootings almost weekly, a local mental health facility under constant governmental scrutiny while dangerous offenders just walk out the door and crazy homeless people with tin foil hats screaming and or singing in the middle of streets and sidewalks daily. As for the poster of this wonder little ditty, I recommend you find a nice quiet new home or career where you dont have to really be in public or be around the public because clearly you are one click away from being a CNN banner headline. Have fun at those malls on Black Friday!
7
That is one seriously disturbed ANON. I feel sorry for the library employees and other patrons.
@6: "Have fun at those malls on Black Friday!" Jesus, ROT, like ANON needs any more encouragement to fuel his / her rage and we need to read and hear about any more mass shootings!
8
I get the OP and approve the message.
9
Jesus Christ.
Being that I absolutely have no intention on killing any one person much less hold a Black Friday Murder Melee, I can totally imagine writing this and describe my rage exactly the same way; exaggerated for the sake of hilarity, especially when you know it may be actually published.
And yeah, hope people got it.
10
Hard-clicking? not murder-worthy. Double-clicking though....
11
I can just see the glaring headline now: "The Double-Clicking Made Him Do It".
12
I feel sorriest for that poor mouse.
13
Smear your poo-finger on the mouse button when no one is looking.
That’ll teach him.
14
@6 that's not what "remedial" means
15
Please take your medication.
16
I don't think the clicker is the psycho here; look in the mirror.
17
You pop that gun ONE MORE TIME.

And he did.

So I took the shotgun off the wall and fired two warning shots.

INTO HIS HEAD.
18
Damn it. Pop that GUM one more time.
19
It's not that weird to people with this:
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/miso…
It's a shitty thing to have because things most people do everyday all of the time trigger it (don't know about mouse clicks.) Because of that its both impossible to escape and very hard to ask other people to do said everyday normal things differently. It's easy for people who don't suffer from it to trivialize.
20
Sounds like an old mouse perhaps.
21
@20: In a public library, not unusual.

I have some instructions about cleaning your mouse balls around here someplace. I'll see if I can dig them up. ;-)
22
People, chill out. The is OP is probably 1.) a very bored library employee sick and tired of dealing with the lovely patrons that populate most public libraries and 2.) hamming it up in hopes that The Stranger might just publish this contribution.