Spurm is a Seattle band. Spurm is a whodunit. Spurm is girded. Spurm is a girding forth from the loins, making loinal rock. Spurm is a sextet with a sax, and their sound is a basement brand of prog, punky, sing-song gird-tunes. Jordan T. Adams, Trent T.V. Coahran, Shig, Ian Dugas, Gary Smith, and Mike Ni do what they do, and they do it well. Gird, a verb, means: 1. To prepare yourself for conflict or vigorous activity. 2. To put a girdle or belt around yourself or another person. 3. To secure something to yourself with a belt, straps, or a girdle. 4. To surround or encompass something. And 5. To provide somebody with or dress somebody in something that is a sign of rank or honor.


Spurm member and Bikram yoga instructor Gary Smith (who is also in Partman Parthorse) met me at a sperm bank on 25th Ave. NE. The interview lasted four minutes. Gary wore a red jumpsuit:

What piece of gear does Spurm love?
Gary: Trent's vocoder keyboard. It makes prog punk sound like 80's dance funk. Even his Electronic voice is full of emotion. You see, a vocoder is really a voice encoder, where the signal passes through a multiband filter, and an envelope follower, and the control signals from the envelope followers are communicated to a decoder.

So what you are saying is that it girds forth?
Yes. The vocoder is where our girding comes from.

How does Spurm get the Spurm sound?
We're dudes man. This is what dudes sound like.

If there was a Spurm Hallmark Valentines card, what would be on it?
Our singer Jordan T. Adams.

What is the perfect Spurm romantic Valentines scene?
Tight pants . Big boners. Pretty girls. And bales of hay. Plus food, steak, and Mary Jane. And horror movies. And red wine.

What does Spurm do to find love?
They fights millions of other Spurms to the death and then eat the eggs.

If Spurm were cologne, what would it smell like?
Sour beer, insulation, and roses.

Where does Spurm come from?

Lets do word association. I'll say a word, you say the first thing that comes to mind:

Wet boobs

Warm boobs

Soft flower like vaginas




Dark chocolate

Fish, vajayjay


Musk Ox

Spurm play Feb. 19th at the Comet with the Pharmacy, Kids and Animals, Broken Nobles, and DJ Scribbles.