Who Would Be Eaten First?

Comments

1
I would like to say Skrillex would be eaten first, but I feel it would be Ben Gibbard. Maybe if I knew more about all these people's eating habits (I think vegetarians would be a little more uneasy about eating other people) I could have a better estimate.

Gotta give it to my boy Buzzo for surviving though.
2
Gibbard runs marathons now though. He'd endure. And be able to run to safety.

Manson seems weak, sickly. Likely to die quickly. On the other hand, if he survives impact he'd be the first willing to eat the deceased, thus, giving him strength.
3
and Manson would taste worse than Skrillex.
4
@2, he was stupid enough to marry Zooey Deschanel. My money is on Gaga.
5
Beyonce is a survivor. She's gonna make it.
6
@5, I had her eaten first. There's some pretty juicy bits on her.
7
i chose beyonce to get eaten first because... i mean look at her. she's be good eatin'. i don't even know if i'd have to get plane-crashy with her to eat her... that gal is fit. i'm pretty sure i could make a delicious high-altitude brisket with what she offers without a problem.

i chose buzzo to survive, because he's likely the only one who'd be dressed to survive, what with his flannel or sweatshirt or whatnot. gaga's telephone hat will fail to keep her warm.
8
Gaga is eaten on like, day 2. She'd be Cornish fucking game hen. Buzzo and Manson would be putrid. Lil Wayne and Dina make an alliance and save Beyonce's body for themselves.
9
Beyonce, cause she's just tasty.
10
whoa, jack white's in the lead to survive right now? what the fuck?! if you think manson looks sickly and unable to survive.....
11
Manson's probably filled with countless worms and parasites, splitting open like a Oogie Boogie sack.
12
@10 I actually voted J-Dubs as the survivor, because he seems real scrappy, and likely to be a little bit insane. I can see him going wolf-boy alone into the wilderness. Howling.
13
For survival:
Manson - nothing would be shocking because they're in survival mode, so he would just give up.
Wayne - no professional chefs around to cook meals for him, so he's out.
Gaga - a mix between what happens with Manson and Wayne.
Skrillex - no technology, no life.
Dina - not gonna lie, I have no idea who this is.
Jack - would probably try to collaborate, or make an alliance, with the most unlikely person. it will end up terrible and he will die.
Yolandi - also don't know who this is.
Buzzo - uses his hair as clothing and to start fires, also as a garrote to kill people.
Beyonce - no guards to shut off the wing of the mountain she's on, dead.
Eminem - starts out scrappy, then his therapy kicks in and he turns into a wimp (see his first 2 albums vs. the rest)
Gibbard - I already said he'd be eaten first. Although he apparently is a good runner but not gonna help when he's running in the fucking andes. frozen to death.
14
No doubt that Lil Wayne would survive the longest. He's very smart, very strong, and frankly, New Orleans is about as dangerous a place as any of these folks reside from...
15
Meatloaf, duh.
16
@5 FTW
17
13- Excellent points. As for scrappiness, don't underestimate Wayne. And I agree about Beyonce - no private wing of the mountain, she's dead.

You're off on Gibbard though. Someone whose in shape enough to run 26.2 miles is going to last longer. He's not going to be doing any jogging for health up there, sure. But as far as someone whose got a shot to trudge through snow and unknown distance to safety, he's got the best chance by far. And for just pure survival, I'll take the guy who can run marathons. I don't see Manson, White, or Gaga lasting very long.
18
"whose" - make that "who is." thank you
19
Another vote for Buzzo to survive. I voted Eminem to get eaten first. Beyonce might be good eatin' but I think the men turn against each other first.
20
Manson is a genius (literally, not musically for my taste, he has a ridiculously high IQ) So I think he would survive fo sho, and have to battle it out with little weezy. Someone please write this fanfic!
21
just because new orleans is dangerous doesn't mean you can survive in the wilderness. also, he's been living the cash money lifestyle since he was what, 16? i don't even know if he would have the urban survival skills necessary at this point. plus, he'd be wearing skin tight zebra print pants, so that's going against him.

and having a genius level iq probably just means you're gonna get eaten first. cavemen weren't geniuses and they seemed to fare just fine out in the wilderness.
22
The whole gang could subsist for weeks on Buzzo's hair and Dina's lipstick.
23
Buzzo would form an alliance with Eminem on Beyonce's private wing of the mountain. They'd be hiding out under one of her marble baths and eating her bacon scraps. Then when Eminem was looking the other direction, Buzzo would eat him.
24
Anybody who says Manson's too scrawny obviously hasn't the guy lately...He's got a lot of meat on his bones now, he'd make a much better meal than Beyonce. He's gone 1st.
25
"(I think vegetarians would be a little more uneasy about eating other people)"

Depends on WHY they're vegetarian. I'm a vegetarian because I oppose factory farming, not because eating meat is wrong. I would totally eat another person if I had to.

Lil' Wayne seems scrappy to me. I'd put money on him to live. I don't know who King Buzzo is, but Google images indicates he's got some meat on his bones. He'd probably taste the best.
26
@7 wins the thread.

Gibbard gets gobbled first as he'd easily be the most annoying of the bunch. Lil' Wayne survived both NOLA projects and prison, even if it wasn't bang-you-in-the-ass prison.