Sometimes life seems just fine and you're doing a bunch of stuff and then you get an email from an old friend which makes you miss them like no tomorrow. Jamie Drier sent me this list of things that should be on the t-shirts of children with parents who are fans of hardcore. He ended the email with, "That's all I could come up with on my walk home from work."

"Mommy and daddy made me in 7 SECONDS"
"Before he made me, daddy got checked to make sure he didn't have an SSD"
"My folks are huge fans of the YOUTH OF TODAY"
"They said you couldn't get pregnant in CIRCLE JERKS?!"
"Literally a MINOR THREAT"
"I didn't ask to be BORN AGAINST"
"No, my diaper isn't D.R.I."
"Whatever mom, why didn't you just DAYGLO ABORT me!"
"My mom must be from Texas cuz she really likes THE DICKS"
"Yup, my diaper is full of GORILLA BISCUITS"
"They took my binky cuz it was full of THE GERMS"
"I wanted to watch the scary movie but my mom said it would have NEGATIVE FX"
"Jeez, my diaper rash is REALLY RED*"

Here's a video from 1999 of Jamie playing in Planes Mistaken at the Fireside Bowl in Chicago. PMFS was originally from Peoria, IL. At one time I had so many friends from Peoria, I would nearly say that when somebody asked me where I was from.

*Jesus, I just listened to "Teaching You the Fear" five times. That song absolutely fucking rips.