To be read in a New Jersey accent:
All right listen up greaseball here's the deal: You like the Ramones right? RIIIIIGHT. You like the Stooges right? RIIIIIIGHT. You like pizza right? RIIIIGHT. Can you read? Kinda? Cool, then sit down, shut up, grab a slice and get your peepers ready to help your mind get blow by GENIUS. Seriously Beethoven, ROLLOVER ALREADY! COME ON MAN.....
- Marcus Lauer
- Ladies and Germs....PERSONAL.
The Pizza Festival is on it's way and who better to headline this bad boy than the EXPERTS? So I sat down with the boss (Personal) to get some insight into each track on their LP, Raw Pie, for another installment of TRACK MEET! (More after the jump!)
"I Dont Wanna Be No Personal Pizza" I don't wanna know what this song is about. Figure it out yourself, dummy.
"Pepperoni Eyes" This song's about a hot little babe with a hot little body and hot little tits and ass. Li'l cutie pie.
" I Ain't Takin' You Out" This song's about my kid. Do the math. CLASSIC.
"$7.99 4 Love" This song's about layin' around with your girl and watchin' TV and gettin a frickin' 12-pack and a pizza delivered. Date night mongo!!!
"Nobody Makes My Girl Cry But Me" This tune is a cover song. It's about beatin' some dude that's creepin' on your girl: "What? You're cryin' over that fuckhead over there? Nobody makes my girl cry. I mean NOBODY!!!!! EXCEPT FOR ME!!!"
"I Can Reed" This song's about bein' dumb and stickin' it to the old man and the old lady. SKOOL SUXZ!!! A+
"Brass Knuckles" This song's about beatin' up nerds. MID-WEEK BABY!!!
"Tearjerker" This one's about cryin'...Duhhhhh.
"I Dont Feel So Happy Now (No More)" This one's about SUICIDE.
"Don't You Go In That Ground" This song's about burying...how do you spell burying? One "r"— got it. This songs about BURYING somebody.
"Never Find Me" This song's about bein kidnapped forever. Jaycee "Alissa" Dugard!!! Phil Garrido!!! Whazzzzaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! MISFITS!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Pizza Army" Duuuuuuuhhhhhhh.....Oh, this one's about crankin' the motherfucking Stooges on an empty tank with the pigs on your ass and pullin' through. TUFF AS FUCK. PUNK.
Songs about pizza = ZERO. Now gimme some money.
Personal and the Pizzas play Saturday at the Funhouse.