I have tons of respect for John Cale—for several of his solo albums, Sun Blindness Music, his early drone pieces with Tony Conrad, La Monte Young, Marian Zazeela, and Angus Maclise, his Church of Anthrax LP with Terry Riley, his productions for the Stooges, Nico, Happy Mondays, Patti Smith, and the Modern Lovers, and, oh yeah, for his contributions to the first two Velvet Underground albums. Pantheon-level stuff, for sure.

But seeing an ad with his picture in it for his Dec. 6 gig at Showbox at the Market in The Stranger this week (page 43; check it out) damn near made me reassess everything about the legend. John Cale is now sporting a soul patch.

Why, John, why?! It’s NAGL for a young man and it’s certainly NAGL for a dignified musician who’s 70. Please reconsider this facial faux pas, Mr. Cale. And while you're at it, kindly lose the Auto-Tune that you sporadically use on your decent new album, Shifty Adventures in Nookie Wood. Thanks.