Attention, all humans and GAYS IN LADY SUITS!

Tonight is Tuck, which I would normally describe in a post promoting it, but I've never been. Because nobody has ever been. It's brand new. It's new like a baby's ass, fresh like a puppy's breath, gay like a drag queen's Pall Malls.

Basically, it appears to be the gayest extravaganza of gayness that's ever gayed a gay. Virtually every working drag queen in town is going to pack themselves into Chop Suey—and then, I endeavor, magical things will happen.

The sequin-studded line-up features: Jinkx Monsoon's late-night kissing booth, Ade's ass-trology and fortune telling, Aleska Manila (AKA, the kindest human ever) and Jackie Hell's makeover booth, plus Robbie Turner, Mama Tits, and Hostess Bendelacreme. And shows and music stuff!

Chop Suey's Jodi Ecklund describes it like this: "In a nutshell Tuck is a new dance night to encourage all Queers and allies to come out. I feel that most nights are geared at either the Lesbian or Gay and not all encompassing. Tuck is more than a dance night—the idea is to bring community together and encourage folks intrigued by Drag to come as they are."

It sounds more lovely than a panda in a sweat suit.

The fine-ass print: It's $10 to get in or $8 in drag. The doors open at 9 p.m.; arrive before 10:30 p.m. for happy-hour prices and be entered to win $100 (amazing!). Chop Suey is totally located at 1325 East Madison Street.

Update: Holy faggotry. It seems Adrian posted about this too. It's all we can think about!