Hey there, singer-songwriter white guy we all know, are you sad about the fact that your Martin Jeff Tweedy Signature Acoustic isn't shipping for free from Guitar Center right now? Well, SHUT UP ALREADY. First of all, no one wants to hear your whiny-existential-young-life-crisis-solitude set to song. Second of all, GET A JOB. Did you know that the excellent Gabriel Douglas herself considered getting a job in fast food before she WON THE OLYMPICS? No you didn't, because you spent the last last five years crying into your BELLYBUTTON.

Third of all, take a gander at these resourceful motherfuckers. Hoss made a cello out of a gas can. You don't even know what a gas can is, OR WHAT GASOLINE EVEN DOES.