The last few weeks, I've been tortured by the rise of frattish white-guy good-time rap (what's a better time than that, after all)—not because such a perspective or such a person isn't valid, but because I fear it will become the dominant paradigm in rap. (Not that the current dominating paradigm of mercenary materialism and degradation is any better!) They just don't stop, it seems. Instead of Wax and G-Eazy successively selling out the Crocodile, we have your boy Hoodie Allen selling out the Showbox on Wednesday, March 20 (along with Aer, Jared Evan, and Seattle's Shelton Harris). If you ever wanted to see Eli Roth doing Drake-aroke, then STOP: HOODIE TIME. Wikipedia tells me that he called his 2012 EP All American "because he credits his success to America." Yep, PRETTY MUCH. This shit is not just a lane, it is daily growing into a 12-lane highway—everybody else better get some good-ass tires (and spares) for the dirt roads they're going to be relegated to. Not sure what I'm talking about, dumb-head rapper? You will be.

Ah, I'm just trippin', right? I mean, maybe you're right. Oh, hey, teenage-Claire's-employee-ternt-rapper Kitty Pryde! You're playing at the Crocodile on Thursday the 21st with Lisa Dank? That's wassup...

The real money this week, in my opinion, is—and you might've already guessed—the THEESatisfaction, Kingdom Crumbs, Sax G, and OCnotes show at Neumos on Friday, March 22. This potent lineup, curated by our homegrown "DIY demigods" Cloud Nice, gets a good portion of Seattle's freest makers of hiphop (or whatever) together in one room.

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