• s_bukley /

The headlights of the oncoming car were growing brighter... and brighter... and closer... and OH MY GOD THEY'RE IN MY LANE. I swerved, they swerved, and as I quickly regained control of the car without incident, my face and chest were still flushed from the panic. Then it hit me. Not the car, but the song. My car's radio was playing "Clocks" by Coldplay and suddenly I was pissed. What if that asshole had hit me head-on while Coldplay was on the goddamn radio?! COULD THERE BE A WORSE WAY TO DIE?

There I'd be, crumpled over in the driver's seat, face bloodied from the deployed airbag, with the smell of smoke, coolant, and burning rubber staining the air. Onlookers would rush to my door to try to help, but they'd turn away and cry out at the sight of my lifeless eyes. Some would frantically reach for their cell phones to call for help, while others would just stare blankly at the wreckage. As everyone rallied around my body, waiting for the emergency crews to arrive, all anyone would hear is that insultingly optimistic piano tinkle and Chris Martin singing those fucking ridiculous words about shooting apples off his head.


Anyway. I obviously didn't die while listening to Coldplay, but the (not-very) near-death experience did get me thinking. There's been talk about what song you would want to hear right before you die, but what band or song would you least like to hear as you take your last breath?

It turns out, for me, it's Coldplay. I never, ever, ever want to die while listening to Coldplay.