San Andreas is an amazing movie. Shut up. I'm serious. It's fucking amazing. Before you try to argue with me, let me say two words: The Rock. Dwayne Johnson, aka "The Rock," aka "Bronzed God of Dimples and the People's Eyebrow," is San Andreas. This could be the end of my review, as I've said everything that needs to be said about this film. But I'm paid by the word. When you tell friends that you are going to see San Andreas, they will likely try to talk you out of it. Do not let them deter you—you need to smell what The Rock is cooking. Go see the film that wins all the awards for the most The Rock in a motion picture. Go one-on-one with the great one, as The Rock himself would say. by Ijeoma Oluo