Emeritus, were I a Pulitzer in the category of Headline/Subhead Combinations I would award myself to you unreservedly.

I know what you mean about Metallica, Sean. I feel the same way about Harvey Danger. I could only make to halfway through that fucking stupid helicopter song on their debut CD.

I love this more than I can describe with words

This is a great review!

What I have heard from this album so far has indeed been horrible but honestly it is a step-up from pretty much every collaborative rendition of "Perfect Day" that he has ever done...

With Pavarotti:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXgbN81zN…

With Dr. John:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAoSGxvOm…

and the worst thing ever -
With everyone (seriously, EVERYONE):
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j2JXy1Z9o…

This is the best negative review I've read of this because it's fair. I don't think the record is that conceptually baffling or even that bad (it's mediocre, the first half is bar room rock, the second half is better but overlong at half the length). I openly APPLAUD the effort that has gone in at parts of this even though I ultimate won't bring myself to listen to it again. But I commend Sean on not doing what every other bashing of this has done and throw a load of baggage on the ground - art-rockers famously hate metal and vice-versa - that prevents any kind of real engagement with what is going on.

I quite liked 'Cheat On Me' and 'Junior Dad', which together last as long as Reign In Blood. A chilling thought.

I've listened to Metallica since 'Ride the Lightning' and I've noticed over the years that Metallica fans can be far more brutal in their criticism than people who just don't like them. I don't like much of what they did after 'Justice', but that doesn't mean that I think they suck.

We're discussing Metallica, why? They were a fairly good metal band in the late 80's. OK.

Since then, they long ago became corporate suckups. They exist to sell CDs and t-shirts to white kids in the suburbs and small towns. They exist as a nostalgia thing for 40-something stoners.

Why would someone actually listen to one of their albums?

iiiiiiiiiii'mmm searchiiiiiiiiiin foooooor mayyyyyy maaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnn liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnneee........you're a great one, sean.

Best review of this record yet! It's beyond the simple reductive pitchfork 0-10.0 scale. It's a baffling experiment. I can't say that I "like it," but art doesn't have to be pleasing in that way to be worthwhile. What I know is that this was a brave move by an artist and a band (both of whom haven't been vital for many years). I don't think I'll listen to it that often--or ever--but I'm glad it's out there. And I hope that other musicians will say fuck all on occasion. Someone might come up with something new, instead of retreads of the same records.

Reed should have acquired a unheard of metal band and let 'em have a go.

The idea of Reed working with a metal band isn't terrible, but it would have made more sense to pick a drone-conscious act like Earth, Sunn O))), or Boris.

Still, I'm always willing to lend an ear to an interesting failure.

Excellent analysis. Shame they didn't go for Metallica Machine Music.

Ha! Great one, Dave (and yeah the aim for simply an overflow of noise might have succeeded instead -- think of all those tightly coiled riffs on "... And Justice For All" dragged out and blurred forever). And this is a sweet review Sean. However, reading the line "It must mean that Metallica is trying, too, though they basically just sound like Metallica, with a dirty old street poet for a singer" makes me want to go buy it.

But as I haven't liked a Lou too deeply since "New York" and I haven't dug a Metallica much since "Justice" I can probably resist doing that.

Truly crucial line: "Good and bad have never been very useful designations when it comes to Reed, anyway. Even his lamest records have proven to be worth dusting off and wrestling with every few years."

Haha. Great review of what seems a pretty poor album. The funniest part is that I will probably buy it to round out my Lou collection and suffer it a few times through. Right on, Sean.

This can't be any worse than Willie Nelson's reggae album but i'll take your word for it.

What the fucking fuck? I can't even remember the last time Metallica did anything better piss in my earhole and poison my brain. And Lou, WTF?!! Please get back on the junk. Do you really want to end up like Steven Tyler.
I'm going to stick an ice pick into my ears to be sure I never hear this crap.