The Spits, Wimps, Gazebos
MUSIC Thurs July 16, Chop Suey (1325 E Madison St)
Spits shows are a rad pile of sweaty punk rock no matter what drug you're on, but this particular Spits show will be opened by two of the best local bands going right now—Wimps! Gazebos!—plus hot jams from DJ MF Cake and DJ Danger Nun. Most importantly, this night is a memorial for Libra drummer A.J. Pero of Twisted Sister, who died this past March of a heart attack and whom no one on this bill knew personally. I don't think. Condolences anyway.
Nearby snack: Walk up to Central Co-op (1600 E Madison St) and buy a Sin Dawg [guitar solo] made by Dave's Killer Bread [harmonized guitar solo]. It's a squishy whole-grain bread log with cinnamon goo and seeds rolled into it. It looks weird, but it tastes exactly like rock 'n' roll. What am I even talking about?
Substrata 1.5
MUSIC July 16–18, Chapel Performance Space (4649 Sunnyside Ave N)
For the discerning among us, the fifth annual Substrata experimental/electronic fest brings immersive aural experiences from sound makers like Kentucky composer/pianist Rachel Grimes, Bay Area ambient techno artist bvdub, and Panabrite (Seattle's Norm Chambers), to name a few. Do be mindful that this is an intimate setting (as in, not the right place to try out dabs or extreme edibles for the first time).
Nearby snack: Wallingford's Diggity Dog Hot Dog & Sausage Co. (5421 Meridian Ave N) has one mission: "Show the world how delicious and satisfying a truly great hot dog can be." They also have burgers, sandwiches, and a menu for vegetarians, which is very sweet of them.
'Chiho Aoshima: Rebirth of the World'
ART Through Oct 4, Seattle Asian Art Museum (1400 E Prospect St)
The surface of Chiho Aoshima's artwork is colorful and cute—buildings personified with sweet kawaii faces, friendly UFOs, a woman who is also a peninsula—but closer inspection reveals a surreal darkness humming in the background. Like waking up from a dream so strange it hurt your stomach and left you feeling a bit off the rest of the day.
Nearby snack: Smith (332 15th Ave E) serves mac and cheese, poutine (fries with cheese curds and gravy), and other rustic stoner fare for your heart to attack.
MOVIE/ABS Wide release
I haven't seen this glistening hunk of a film yet, but I received an emergency text recently at 2:35 a.m. (from someone on the East Coast, no less) that simply said: "Please see Magic Mike XXL. It is the best." Yes! I'd already planned to get unbelievably stoned and hit that, even before I read Elinor Jones's great review in The Stranger, which ends with: "Magic Mike XXL is the most pro-woman, anti-homophobia film I've seen in a long time. The fact that it's loaded with hot dudes and dance numbers... well, that's nice too." A male-stripper flick that's pro-lady and anti–gay jokes? #yaskween.
Nearby snack: I know "we" have been talking about Slurpees a lot (oh, "SORRY"), but have you ever dumped a box of Nerds and a packet of Pop Rocks into one? HAVE YOU? 
