'TIS THE SEASON OF DRAG RACE

It's that magical time of the year again! That time of wonder and excitement that we've all become so accustomed to: A bunch of our drag queens seem to go missing, and everyone starts whispering about where the hell they went. This time corresponds, strangely enough (or not), with the filming of next season's RuPaul's Drag Race somehow. Whisper whisper! Titter titter! Is it James Majesty? Is it Robbie Turner? Oh, my stars and garters! Well, allow me to confide officially that "well, yeah, maybe it is, so what," and that's all I've got to say about that. Except this: If a Seattle queen doesn't take the crown this year (or at least place respectably—or even appear AT ALL), this whole RPDR nonsense can go piss right up a rainbow flagpole, and I shan't pay another whit of attention to it ever. Do you hear me, RuPaul? Shan't! A whit! Not ever! Consider yourself quite warned...

I'm sure that has her quaking in her pantyhose.

THURSDAY 7/23

RETURN OF THE STAY UP LATE SHOW

Anyhooters: While we are all fretting about that draggy nonsense, our good friend Rebecca Mmm Davis is conspiring to distract our fretful hearts with the way-too-long-awaited return of the Stay Up Late Show, Seattle's premier live late-night talk show! (Where the hell has it been? Filming RuPaul like everyone else? I ask you.) The ever-brilliant David Schmader is the extra-special guest tonight (there to talk about his new book, no doubt), plus the mayor of Seattle burlesque, Jo Jo Stiletto, a special performance by Cafe Au Lait Ole, and a visit with "The Original Biscuit Bitch," Kim Spice! Rendezvous, 7 pm, $15/$20 VIP, 21+.

FRIDAY 7/24

A QUEER CLASSIC FROM SILENT CHERRIES

Lingering at the zenith, the pinnacle, the reservoir tippity-tip of classic queer cinema-to-theater crossovers (or vice versa), you will find Hedwig (duh), La Cage (aka The Birdcage... and Fosse! And Fosse!), and, of course, Victor Victoria, the whimsical story of starving drag queens in Paris enlisting the cross-dressing skills of Julie Andrews (apparently fresh off the mountain) in order to bravely eat. She-cum-he is of course a smashing success and becomes the drag-king toast of the town, until, you know, complications. (Aren't there always?) Tonight a scrappy troupe called Silent Cherries brings the tale live to the well-weathered boards of Re-bar—with a full cabaret orchestra to boot. Or heel. Whichever. Re-bar, 7:30 pm, $20 adv/$22 DOS, 21+, July 23–Aug 1. recommended