Podcasts Mar 19, 2013 at 1:00 am

Comments

1
Defending Gilberto Valle as being a victim of persecution just makes me insane.

This man had dosiers on his potential targets, he used police databases to gain non-public information about a woman, chatted online with another individual about potentially kidnapping a woman for him, scoped out women's locations and neighborhoods ... these aren't acts of innocent fantasies. Those are steps in committing a crime.

Enger says he doesn't see how going to brunch along with his wife and kid with one of the objects of his "fantasy" would in any way be beneficial or deemed surveilance. You know, besides scoping out the layout of her home and neighborhood, find out who is in her life and who she has regular contact with, etc. etc. etc. Yeah, nothing to gain at all.

This isn't "Minority Report" - He wasn't found guilty of murder; he's guilty of conspiracy, which was clearly obvious to the prosecution and jury.

Would it take a tortured, dead woman to make Engber see what this man was capable of? We're so quick to blame police/government/society when something devastating happens that could have been prevented because the "signs" were there - 9/11, school shootings, murders where neighbors are interviewed saying "I never felt quite right about him"...but when it's done right and a crime that was being planned out is thwarted, now it's "Oh he was just thinking about it! Poor man!"? Please.
2
Hey Dan,

I still don't know what Engber is smoking. That guy totally deserves to be in jail. He was clearly not just fantasizing.

Oh, and by the way: The next time I am really confused about exactly when a woman's ti.ts are at their best, I'll give America's favorite fa.ggot a call. :)
3
I don't think there's any evidence that could have been presented that Engber WOULDN'T have bent over backwards to defend. He's trying way too hard to have the unpopular opinion, leaving all his rationality at the door for the sake of being "interesting."
4
Once I ran to you (I ran)
Now I'll run from you
This melted taint you've given
I give you all a boy could give you
Take my tears and that's not nearly all
Oh...melted taint.
Melted taint.
6
Did I miss something on the guy who had STIs? Does he have proof that the last girlfriend is the one who infected him? What if he already had these STIs and he also infected her unknowingly? I thought Dan would start with that. The caller didn't say he was a virgin before that relationship so...how does he know for sure it was that girlfriend?
7
that guy about the breast-feeding!! speaking of super-creepy controlling sexist freak... no he doesn't 'own' her breasts, and it's none of his business whether she feeds in public; at home; or in the government house; with her breasts covered or not. it's not his body. i'm sure he goes topless in public if he feels like it - he's a sexist creep, and i'd read this as a red flag for an abusive relationship. i'm seriously gob-smacked that Dan let him get away with it.
9
God, this spammer is everywhere today.

Hey dumbass, a thousand bucks a week is nothing to brag about.
10
I'm unhappy too about Dan's response to the breastfeeding guy. Seriously? My babies had to eat, they didn't like to be covered and this is why women stop breastfeeding because people want them to cover up or do it in the bathroom of a restaurant or in the car, etc. This guy needs to get over himself and support his girlfriend. Breastfeeding should be the norm.
11
@9- Me kill spam. Spam dead.
12
Get the baby one of these hats - would that shut him up? http://jezebel.com/5882886/the-very-best…
13
Still there @ 8, Nancy.
14
As a animal rights activist who has been a vegan for 12 years and doing Yoga for almost two years I am calling BULLSHIT about the Yoga-vegetarian who claims that he is into non-violence and therefore can't hit his wife.

I know quite a few of activists who are strong believe in non-violence and still have no problem in being sadistic in the bed room.

He is using his lifestyle change as an excuse. I don't have a problem with people who are vanilla and therefore are not interested in BDSM play(!) but I get pissed when they use obvious excuses like this guy did.
15
Dan, while I applaud your honesty in your response to the guy with the STI scars, I think it critical that you missed an opportunity to delve deeper and with more conviction regarding his need for therapy. While his ex-girlfriend may or may not have infected him with STI's (knowingly or not), she is obviously not responsible for his multiple suicide attempts, loss of job, and loss of dwelling. It is clear from this call that he holds her responsible for all that's happened since. His complete lack of emotional maturity and inability to take responsibility for his choices (sexual or otherwise) is more likely the reason for the loss of his employment and for the loss of his place.
The call, up to this point, was disturbing enough until he said he had tried to 'set up a meeting' with her(!). For what purpose exactly? One can only assume that his intent was to run through all the ways that she had ruined his life and then have her contrite and apologetic. I applaud her for intuitively knowing to keep her distance. He, on the other hand, shows the kind of short-sighted and distorted logic characteristic of those who are violent against women. He has been mulling this over for two years (two fucking whole years!!) and by his own admission feels that she 'should get some kind of punishment.' I would have loved to hear you say "Stay the fuck away from her and get some help. I'm calling you back in a week to see where you're at." In the call the caller says he feels 'she got away with it’ shedding light on his deep and irrational belief that she infected him with premeditation. This suggests a level of paranoia and fixation that is seldom resolved with minimal chiding from an advice columnist (albeit, a very good one). Violence against women at the hands of men is still disproportionally high across the developed world. You have the privilege of influence and an opportunity to use your voice to challenge our culture’s status quo, especially with a demography that is being reached by few others. Dan, I implore you to use this gift to the fullest of its potential.
16
Not only am I glad the cannibal cop is in the slammer, I hope certain content creators are watching with interest and getting well and truly chilled. I hope they are frightened into self-censorship so that they can cut out their intolerable porny bullshit that they should have to get XXX ratings for but that they somehow get away with slathering all over the mainstream.

I refer of course to Lars von Trier and... well. I don't know the name of it. What's the horrific true crime show I'm thinking of? I *think* it comes on either Saturday or Sunday early afternoon, but I could be wrong about when I witnessed the vile thing. It could be _48 Hrs_, but I don't think so because I think they do "recreations." I don't know because I hate them all, but anyway, it's some absolutely revolting true crime forensics show where they did these loooong loving camera pans over this poor murdered girl's naked bruise-covered body.

The reasoning is always, "O, this will generate in the crime-fearing viewer even more sympathy for the murdered girl and it is therefore perfectly moral to show these salacious shots of the naked dead." Nope. Nope. fuckinNOPE. That is not why you are doing that, revolting forensics show. That is not why you are doing that, LARS VON TRIER. You know very well what you're generating and in whom you're generating it. At least the Dane is faking the sliced-to-ribbons dead women. The forensics show used the actual pictures of the actual dead woman. They must have told her family, "This will generate in the viewer sympathy for your naked rapemurdered daughter who is looking down from heaven thanking you for allowing the nation to see at one and the same time the bikini tan lines she acquired at some point before her rape and murder and the stab wounds and rope burns she acquired during the process!"

And the bereaved family allowed it. I hope to god they come back to their senses and sue the show out of existence. One thing's for sure, if at any point the cannibal cop lost his internet connection, he could tivo that show and have plenty of wank fodder. And I bet he owns every movie Lars von Trier ever made. Anyone who sits there with his/her eyes open willingly looking at that crap is a violence-loving fieeeeeend in my opinion--in their heart of hearts not that they would ever act on it and not that they should be prevented from watching it. Just as anyone who gets a massive kick from watching Cops secretly harbors class and race hatred in his/her heart--not that they would ever act on it and not that they should be prevented from watching it. Obviously I would defend to the death the right of the watching public to rubberneck to their hearts' content at any legal vileness there is, and I would defend to the death Lars von Trier's right to produce his abysmal foulness, though I do hope there is a circle in hell just for him and that hell exists so that he can go directly to that circle.

But whoever makes that show that showed the honest to god raped dead girl's honest to god body to me on Sunday early afternoon when I was lolling around and couldn't lay my hands on the remote control fast enough to get it away get it away get it away and therefore witnessed against my will what I KNOW THAT GIRL WOULD NOT HAVE WANTED SEEN... Whoever makes that show I do not defend. That fucker needs to be put UNDER the jail.
17
Thanks Nancy.
18
About the guy who was uneasy about his wife's 'proud and public' breastfeeding (and comments declaring him to be an evil, manipulative husband).

1) There are LOTS of porn genres centered around motherhood - lactation, pregnancy, not to mention everything with MILF in the title. Arguing that only a controlling asshole would imagine someone getting turned on by breastfeeding requires ignoring all the porn built around that exact kink.

2) Dan, why are you belittling the guy, telling him that if teenagers or men wanted to see naked breasts, they can go online. The existence of online porn has not negated peoples interest in seeing actual breasts (excluding people not interested in women). If it did, every strip club in America would have gone bankrupt long ago.

3) Working in a grocery store, I regularly have to deal with parents who think that having a child eliminates barriers between what is appropriate in public vs. private. To be fair, there has been only one time, several years ago, that I felt that a woman was overly casual breastfeeding her baby. A woman and her husband (I assumed) came up to my register and she was breastfeeding her baby. Her tank top was bunched up underneath her arms, her other breast barely had the nipple covered, showing a LOT of under boob. If she had not had her baby, it would have looked like she was auditioning for 'Girls Gone Wild.'

4) To be fair, everything I mentioned in points 1-3 does not mean the caller is not over reacting. If he wants her to breastfeed only at home or in a car with tinted windows, then yes, he is being irrational.
19
I agree with everything Dan said about Portman, however, is it really the most constructive thing to criticize someone so harshly who just publicly came out as an ally? I had the same initial reaction to Portman's hypocrisy, but if the goal is to encourage people who were once enemies of gay rights to change their minds, shouldn't we be more careful with how we welcome those who do? Even if they are giant, selfish, douchebag hypocrites?
20
#18 unknown_entity, thank you. Yes, getting even a flash of a real tit, especially with nipple, is a big deal to most straight teenage boys, regardless of breastfeeding or not. And, yes, he's still being crazy.
21
Well, so what? Seems to me that that's a bonus - baby is fed in best possible way, mom gets free and convenient best possible baby food, some teenage boys get a flash of tit. Everybody wins
22
Yeah, I think it was silly to focus on weather or not teenage boys (or any straight or bi men) are turned on by breast-feeding--of course some of them are! How can Dan doubt that, considering he regularly takes calls and letters from people who are turned on by far more out-there things? The real issue is whether or not the caller is being a controlling, jealous jerk and the answer is a resounding "yes!" Who cares if his wife/girlfriend (I forget which) feeding their baby in public might possibly incite somebody somewhere to go home and jack off? If women were to seriously concern themselves with how Things They Might Do might possibly cause some stranger somewhere to get sexually excited, we'd have to never leave the house. Perhaps that would be the caller's ideal scenario?
23
The caller with the breastfeeding wife is an insecure, controlling piece of work. Not to mention boring.
24
Don't say "vegetarian" and "yoga" with that judgemental sneer in your voice ya fuckin douchenozzle. Love the show...
25
The guy with the breast-feeding-in-public issue, you just have to realize that no matter what she's doing, even if she isn't exposing her breasts, there are guys jerking off to her. That's what guys do, they subconsciously take a snap-shot of women that catch their notice and that woman might have a guest appearance in the carousel of imagery that flashes through their brain as they beat it, or she might be the special star of a carefully crafted scenario because they took especial notice of her. This has probably happened on so many occasions throughout her life, and the lives of all women, that the few times it might happen due to her breast-feeding in public is a drop in the bucket.

Seriously caller, how many times in the last month have you seen an attractive stranger in public somewhere that has worked her way into your masturbation fantasies?
26
Yeah, I'm just gonna jump in with everyone else and say that I think it's fine to do roleplay, or write fictional stories or whatever, no matter how dark and weird your fantasies are, but, if you get up and say that you intend to commit a crime against a real person, or various real people -- that you fantasise about the day you will commit that crime, etc, etc -- that's another thing. I would HOPE that the police would take that seriously.

Please wait...

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