Pullout Sep 17, 2009 at 4:00 am

How to Be a Person Who People Want to Sleep With

Stranger Staff
ILLUSTRATION BY MATTHEW SUNDSTROM
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Comments

1
Rock climbing at Tiger Mountain? Perhaps you are thinking of Little Si or Exit 38?

And why no mention of all male spas?
Reg on September 16, 2009 at 12:47 PM Report this
2
"You just walk down there and keep walking until the land ends and you are wet. It is amazing."

Hahahahahaha... haha.
HockeyFanNick on September 16, 2009 at 3:29 PM Report this
3
I can totally tell that "How to Use Your Sex Parts (If You Are a Man Having Sex with a Lady)" was written by Charles Mudede- It has the faint stench of pseudo-intellectualism mixed with misogyny found in all of his writing.
on September 16, 2009 at 11:41 PM Report this
4
Another piece of advice for anyone trying to be a "Non-Annoying Vegan":

Don't flaunt the fact that you have to poop a minimum of six times a day- That's a complete turnoff to carnivores or anyone else with a diet not entirely comprised of fiber. Let them learn that horrible truth after they decide to convert.
UNPAID COMMENTER on September 17, 2009 at 1:36 AM Report this
5
OK, this:

Who knows, you may end up converting hardcore carnivores to a lifestyle that doesn't involve oppressing animals and hastening the demise of the planet—and fattening butts to heinous dimensions.


is annoying.
jade on September 17, 2009 at 10:52 AM Report this
6
Banya5 is all co-ed now, and no longer has just male or female days, unfortunately.
on September 17, 2009 at 1:20 PM Report this
7
Oh, that's just fabulous. Because what Seattle needs is more people afraid to dance at shows unless someone else starts it. I'm all for not being an asshole (watching the elbows is always good advice), but if you're at a show and you want to dance, get off your ass and FUCKING DANCE!
sarahalyse on September 17, 2009 at 2:48 PM Report this
8
How about a warning for all young gay guys to AVOID the bathhouses..God, does it get more skeezy and trashy than that? Poor young gay guy thinks he needs to go these type of slut shacks to "fit in" in the gay community. Sad!

Also, don't give money to bums, you'll only encourage their harassing behavior.
on September 17, 2009 at 8:45 PM Report this
9
I'm pro-choice, but I found the "How to Kill a Baby" section really offensive - especially completely separated from the safe sex advice, which finally appeared way at the end of the article.
on September 17, 2009 at 10:52 PM Report this
10
Did Glen Beck join your staff? Why is safe sex so low on the list of priorities? How to Kill a Baby? Fucking A. Get over yourselves.
smarterthanastranger on September 18, 2009 at 12:14 PM Report this
11
Why the fuck was the gay advice composed of a quick primer on how to give a bad blowjob followed by a bunch of anti-sex bullshit designed as health advice. how about advising the hets and dykes about all the shit they can get from what they do?

how about this as advice "Get educated as to the relative level of risk of different sexual activity, then use your own brain and decide what you're willing to accept!" and if you wanna be a slut and head to the parks and bath-houses and fuck your brains out the go for it! and if you dont then don't.

and to commenter 8. fuck you. if you don't wanna go to a bath-house, then don't but try to save your bullshit moralizing for your small town, small minded friends.
yyz-hkg on September 19, 2009 at 1:09 AM Report this
12
Post #10. STFU you fuck ass. I wouldn't really say safe sex is low on their priorities when every time sex is mentioned they say be safe and always be safe. Next, go be a fucking conservative elsewhere. If you get a bitch pregnant and the little bastard child is gonna live a shitty life then why have it? Be a decent person and relieve it rather than causing it more pain and suffering when it lives a shitty life and your broke ass can barely feed it.
on September 19, 2009 at 1:54 PM Report this
13
Interesting that for every combination except hetero sex there was the instruction to communicate first about what you like and what you want and how to be safe doing it. Even plain old missionary position sex can be good or bad depending on how it's done. Learning how to know what you like and then ask for it and get it is important for everyone-not just the people who need to describe the only role-playing scene they find erotic to someone who has never thought of doing that with jello.
And people who are free with their favors are at risk no matter who they're fucking.
BakerB on September 20, 2009 at 6:37 AM Report this
14
People get busted in the Arboretum all the time for drinking, no one fact checked with the Roosevelt highschoolers I see.
A Concerned Citizen on September 20, 2009 at 8:39 AM Report this
15
For the record, in "How to Kill a Baby", a section I support wholeheartedly, you might want to reconsider calling the operation "(worse)" than the pill. Both have their ups and downs (physical, financial, psychological); and let's face it, we shouldn't be giving medical advice or scaring ladies away from vacuum aspiration abortions because really, they're not that scary or bad and might be a much better choice for an individual, depending.
zombiesmmm on September 21, 2009 at 8:43 AM Report this
16
To Post 11: I work at Planned Parenthood you jerk. I objected to the term baby killing not a legal choice to terminate the pregnancy. The title is demeaning and perpetuates a negative stereo type to an important choice. Chill out.
smarterthanastranger on September 21, 2009 at 12:08 PM Report this
17
On the section 'hot to use your sex parts' for females, this statement makes me LAUGH!! "And making you come is a prize!" I'm a female, and according to which book and which guy read that book? YEAH RIGHT!!! Where are you living?
Sandramx1 on September 22, 2009 at 2:13 PM Report this
18
Seriously?

"We're known for, like, three things: grunge (ugh), coffee (double ugh), and trees (swoon!)."

if you don't (or, didn't) appreciate all those things, then you really don't get what it's like living here.

yeah, TREES, we have lots of them, hence 'The EVERGREEN State' moniker. it was the people who started flocking here in DROVES in the late 80's through the present (like, yourself i'm guessing) that made something so simple as "being outside" into a "i'm so awesome being outside!!!" fashion lifestyle. LAME.

oh, and it's not like Seattle is a Computer Technology, Heath/Medical Research, and Aviation hub of the nation...what do we have to offer in THOSE fields really, right?
on October 4, 2009 at 1:19 PM Report this
19
@13,

i noticed that, too.

why are the two hetero sections NOTICEABLY shorter than the other sections? a lot of the information given in the other sections easily fits in to either of those two sections.

it's not a big deal, but it just feels like hetero sex was kind of glazed over for some reason, why is that?
on October 4, 2009 at 1:28 PM Report this
20
*(This interpretation is being written by a lifelong "biological vegetarian"-a vegetarian by nature, not choice. PKU, look it up.)

Flaunt your clear (, sallow-ish and UNDERNOURISHED-looking) skin, svelte (meaning THIN and UNDERNOURISHED-looking) figure, alert (sunken, or bugged out-coffee is vegan!!!) eyes, and bountiful energy (WOO, COFFEE!!!), the result of arteries and intestines unclogged by buttery/meaty fats and a mind untainted by animal hormones (meaning, 'yeah, we poop a lot...like RABBITS! WOO!!!!').

i LOVE animals. don't hunt. would not eat meat, even if i could, and i never have. EVER. (again, biological vegetarian) but, not using ANY products that come from animals? even local, organically feed and humanly tended animals that live a good life and are harmed in NO WAY? that goes too far.

so, this vegetarian who has NEVER eaten meat (ANY meat, no fish, eggs, NO FLESH), unlike MANY of you vegetarians and vegans-who will probably get back to meat again eventually anyways, says take your veganism and shove it up your ass.
on October 4, 2009 at 1:53 PM Report this

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