From the Apr 6 – Apr 12, 2006 issue

Extras

Savage Love Extra

by Dan Savage

I’m a self-identified she-male who is not a prostitute, and I have a little more advice for the would-be tranny chaser in last week’s column. First off, you need to know the odds—there are a lot more of you than there are of us. For every tranny who posts an ad, there are 20 posted by men looking for trannies. Keep that in mind when composing your ads. If you’re looking for a petite Asian with big tits and a cock like the tower of Pisa, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. That kind of tail usually costs money. Plus, you’ll alienate us average, white she-males, and you don’t want to do that! Remember, there aren’t very many of us to go around.

All your/Josh’s advice is rock solid. In fact, I’m amazed someone finally got it right. And as for the three-way thing? Hell yes! Every adventurous, open-minded couple should try that. She-males make the best fucktoys imaginable! I speak from personal experience.

One final word on the “does this mean I’m gay?” question. For the most part, I would have to say no—fucking me in the ass, sucking my cock, and then taking one up the pipe doesn’t mean you’re gay. It just means you’re bent—in a very nice way. And I love that.

Cowgirl City

Since you are one who usually stands up for the rights of all types of people, Dan, I find it rather distressing to read your column this week and see repeated use of the word “she-male.” While I am aware that it was being used mostly to describe the self-described “she-male hookers,” I don’t think it was made clear to most readers who may be unfamiliar with all of the various types of transsexual women that exist in the world. As a transsexual woman myself, I find that use of the word “she-male” without a very good explanation is detrimental to acceptance of transwomen in society. We have a hard enough time making it in this world without all being labeled as “she-males.” Although I may still have male parts for the time being, there is nothing male about me.

I think you could do a great service to your readers and to transwomen by printing a further explanation that “she-male” is generally a term used in the porn and prostitution industries, and that most transwomen find the word to be rather offensive. I’d even venture to say that many of the self-described “she-males” may find it offensive, but have accepted it as a means to make a living.

A Concerned Transwoman

You printed a few “I love tranny cock, does that make me gay?” letters this week. But why didn’t you print mine? I love the idea of a woman with a huge cock—but I want it on a WOMAN, not a dude-looking woman, but a woman-looking woman. Anyway, you chose incorrectly this week; you probably would have gained more fans and readers had you printed my letter. Looks like you’re more of an amateur than I thought. Hmmf.

Love Lady Dick

When people write in curious about she-males, etc., just suggest they head to Thailand for a week or two. In Bangkok (and Pattaya) there are districts that cater to individuals with such curiosities. It would be completely anonymous and much more “cost effective” than here if they wanted to pay for play. Sometimes these “chicks with dicks” are almost indistinguishable from actual women and fool many straight (but stupid) guys on the prowl. And heck, they can even take in the sights, experience the local culture, and get a tan when they are not exploring their curiosities.

Not the way I swing myself, but I used to live in Thailand, and return for work every so often, and I can assure you, anyone looking to spend more time with the ladyboys would do well to check that place out.

JT

Sorry to send another e-mail, but I also have to add that I was offended by the assertion that the man in the South would not be able to meet a transsexual woman with whom he could have a relationship and “bring home to mom.” I am a transsexual woman living in the South, and I have a boyfriend who has brought me home to meet his parents. In fact, I don’t think anyone who didn’t know me before transition would have any idea that I’m transsexual if I don’t tell them. Transwomen are just like any other women, some of us look better than others, but I think it’s rather narrow-minded to assume that a guy would never be able to meet a transwoman who could be brought home to mom.

A Concerned Transwoman

Your response to STAB failed to mention another variety of tranny: the post-op transsexual. This may not satisfy STAB’s “balls and tits” fetish, but it really should have been included in the list of “girlie-boy” variants.

I’m currently having a fling with a post-op woman, who contacted me on an adult hook-up site. I wasn’t actually looking for a post-op, but she just liked my style, I guess. Being an open-minded (and insatiably curious) guy, I met up with her. I must say that physically, it’s almost impossible to tell. The only hints of her birth gender are her height (6’), her occasional need for additional lube, and the fact that I actually “hit bottom” from time to time when we’re fucking. Otherwise, she would completely pass. Hormone therapy has left her with nice, perky tits (not implants) and baby-smooth skin. Even her voice sounds completely feminine.

The only other thing I’ve noticed about her that is notably different from most birth women is her libido. She is hot to trot, anytime, anywhere, much like a guy, and she is remarkably uninhibited. I suppose this is from growing up as a male, not subject to the inhibitions that society tends to place on women.

In virtually every other way, she’s a woman. She’s married to a straight guy who apparently knows of—and tolerates—her extramarital trysts. She lives in a small town, works at a mall, hasn’t been to a bar in years, and would just as soon prefer that no one ever knows about her physical evolution. But she makes it a point to tell any potential partners up front to avoid any weirdness if they were to find out after the fact.

ATL