Savage Love Podcast Comments
Savage Love Episode 274
18
Just a quick bit about grandparents: my cousin was convinced by her mother NOT to come out to my grandparents because they are old and Grandma goes to daily mass. Our grandparents have been so much better than my parents that my wife and I decided to take their last name. Yes, Grandma still goes to mass every day; no, she does not think we're going to hell. Sometimes grandparent issues are really parents trying to excuse their own issues.
17
I have to say, Dan, that your advice to the woman in the 10 year "swinging" relationship was completely ass-backward. She's not in a swinging relationship. She's in a cuckold relationship. Hubs gets to have all the pussy he can manage, but as soon as she asks for a bit of her due, he clams up and complains his delicate sensitivities couldn't handle such a thing.
So what happens when he finds outs? Just as likely as having an affirming talk about he was wrong is an outcome where she's accused of breaking some one-sided deal and forced to deal with the aftermath of his unwillingness to see another man's cock in his wife.
Better that she turn to him now, with virtue on her side, and say the following: "I've been GGG, I've done and enjoyed our three-ways, but they are over and done unless I get this need met. And if you are not man enough to handle that, well," just like you said Dan, "there are plenty of men who will be."
Better she use the leverage now than lose it when it all comes out.
So what happens when he finds outs? Just as likely as having an affirming talk about he was wrong is an outcome where she's accused of breaking some one-sided deal and forced to deal with the aftermath of his unwillingness to see another man's cock in his wife.
Better that she turn to him now, with virtue on her side, and say the following: "I've been GGG, I've done and enjoyed our three-ways, but they are over and done unless I get this need met. And if you are not man enough to handle that, well," just like you said Dan, "there are plenty of men who will be."
Better she use the leverage now than lose it when it all comes out.
16
Ditto @7.
That dishwasher call was creepy: he wants to have sex with a woman, but seems to think that the person he's supposed to pursue the matter with is her male business partner (and owner / pimp, I suppose).
That dishwasher call was creepy: he wants to have sex with a woman, but seems to think that the person he's supposed to pursue the matter with is her male business partner (and owner / pimp, I suppose).
15
Like the guy who was considering changing parties so he could vote Republican, I, too, am going to do that but not to vote for Santorum. I'm going to vote for Buddy Roemer so if the party comes to its senses, we'll have TWO good candidates for President.
I do wonder if the election of 2000 would have been harder to steal if the Al Gore who was running had been the Al Gore from 2001 onward, or if ninnies like my son hadn't voted for Nader.
I do wonder if the election of 2000 would have been harder to steal if the Al Gore who was running had been the Al Gore from 2001 onward, or if ninnies like my son hadn't voted for Nader.
14
I don't normally check out podcasts, but this was enjoyable. I'll be joining the community. Thanks for sharing
12
That last caller who read the letter from their grandmother made me tear up! Absolutely, there are older people out there who are incredibly open-minded and accepting of others - I'm proud to say one of those people is my grandma! She almost gets more excited to see my boyfriend than me ;)
11
The pregnant 17 year old who's afraid her parents will find out if she seeks medical attention sounds like she needs a little more info on Planned Parenthood:
1) The people at Planned Parenthood are extremely diligent about keeping patients' information (including the fact they're patients at all) private.
2) They also have a really fantastic insurance program- that teens automatically qualify for regardless of their parents' income, making visits and various services free, if not very affordable.
You can find more information at the link below or ask about the green card at a Planned Parenthood clinic. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/nassau-…
3) The doctors and nurses are also very friendly and helpful.
I found myself in something of a gynecological emergency as a broke, unemployed gal just out of college, living with my mother (who is extremely nosy and has some dangerous ideas about medicine). I went to planned parenthood, was seen multiple times for free and have been incredibly thankful for their existence ever since.
1) The people at Planned Parenthood are extremely diligent about keeping patients' information (including the fact they're patients at all) private.
2) They also have a really fantastic insurance program- that teens automatically qualify for regardless of their parents' income, making visits and various services free, if not very affordable.
You can find more information at the link below or ask about the green card at a Planned Parenthood clinic. http://www.plannedparenthood.org/nassau-…
3) The doctors and nurses are also very friendly and helpful.
I found myself in something of a gynecological emergency as a broke, unemployed gal just out of college, living with my mother (who is extremely nosy and has some dangerous ideas about medicine). I went to planned parenthood, was seen multiple times for free and have been incredibly thankful for their existence ever since.
9
@4 In principle I agree that acceptance is a two-way street, but there are exceptions. The Duggars might be viewed as heterosexual extremists--19 natural children (none are adopted), Daddy a preacher, their lives televised on their own reality show. In some ways they are the hetero equivalent of a gay bathhouse slut who has unprotected sex with multiple partners.
Its fine to be a hetero Christian, but that doesn't mean anyone is obligated to uncritically endorse the extremism of the Duggars, just as its fine to be a gay slut, but that doesn't mean anyone is obligated to uncritically endorse the extremism of someone who repeatedly engages in unprotected bathhouse sex with multiple partners.
And a note on gaydar: some people, especially if they're older, really don't have it. It seems amazing, I know, but quite a few people were sincerely shocked to learn that Liberace was gay. Their numbers are reduced from decades past, but remnants of that naive population persist, especially among people who have known few if any openly gay people (I'm sure many Bachmann supporters still believe that Marcus is straight, for example).
Its fine to be a hetero Christian, but that doesn't mean anyone is obligated to uncritically endorse the extremism of the Duggars, just as its fine to be a gay slut, but that doesn't mean anyone is obligated to uncritically endorse the extremism of someone who repeatedly engages in unprotected bathhouse sex with multiple partners.
And a note on gaydar: some people, especially if they're older, really don't have it. It seems amazing, I know, but quite a few people were sincerely shocked to learn that Liberace was gay. Their numbers are reduced from decades past, but remnants of that naive population persist, especially among people who have known few if any openly gay people (I'm sure many Bachmann supporters still believe that Marcus is straight, for example).
7
That call from the horny dishwasher was absolutely the worst. Perhaps the same guy as the dildo-gifter from the holiday horror stories episode?
6
@4, no we don't. The Duggars are religios, anti-choice, anti-gay bigots that keep adding chldren to an already over populated world. Jesus, the world is too PC as it is, we don't have to be sensitive to every fucking thing, especially religoius people that think they know what's best for everyone regardless of personal beliefs. So if the don't respect our choices, we most certainly don't have to respect theirs.
5
i know we're not that far in yet, but "which hole it is that shits babies" is the best damn thing i've heard all year
4
While I'm normally a huge fan of your advice I was surprised to hear you thrash the Duggers in the opening of the show. I think a big part of asking others to accept your lifestyle choices is to give them the same respect in return. Right?
3
Loved all the comments about the grandparents today! My grandmother passed away before one of her daughters ever came out ... she was always nervous of what my grandmother would think - I always thought and hoped my Nana would be accepting.
As a side note about the Pope insulting straight people - Yes. I am insulted. I don't follow what the Pope says - not being Catholic or religious. But pretty much all the comments the Pope makes I find insulting. I love my birth control!
As a side note about the Pope insulting straight people - Yes. I am insulted. I don't follow what the Pope says - not being Catholic or religious. But pretty much all the comments the Pope makes I find insulting. I love my birth control!
2
The Pope...he's not even really an influence in the lives of many Catholics. What does Dan call those kinds? NAULTs? Yeah, liberal Catholics around the world recognize that when that loony old celibate says something, it's not relevant. But yes, there are loony Catholics (as there are loonies of every religious persuasion) who believe garbage like the Pope spouts.
Also, my devoutly Catholic Gramma had a gay grandson, and she was very proud of him; she had a bisexual granddaughter, and she was very proud of me. Because she loved and accepted us in exactly the same way she loved and accepted all the other grandchildren. She was kind, wise, humble, and loving. She knew better than most people that life is a journey, and we all have our own path to follow. She did not worry for my cousin and I because she knew that our journeys belong to only us, and we have intelligence, sensitivity, strength, love, and the family backbone to guide us.
Also, my devoutly Catholic Gramma had a gay grandson, and she was very proud of him; she had a bisexual granddaughter, and she was very proud of me. Because she loved and accepted us in exactly the same way she loved and accepted all the other grandchildren. She was kind, wise, humble, and loving. She knew better than most people that life is a journey, and we all have our own path to follow. She did not worry for my cousin and I because she knew that our journeys belong to only us, and we have intelligence, sensitivity, strength, love, and the family backbone to guide us.
1
I think the biggest threat to humanity is the Pope, and his silly opinions. To think that a billion people actually take his word as gospel truth... (sigh!)
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