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Baconcat 1
I'm voting for Rep. Hargrove because he's specifically against my rights as a gay bacon-american.
Posted by Baconcat on February 11, 2012 at 12:13 PM · Report this
To avoid being labeled a big dumbfuck yourself, you might want to correct Rep. Hargrove's name. He's Jim, not Mark.
Posted by Smartypants on February 11, 2012 at 12:38 PM · Report this
Sandiai 3
I cast my vote for Smith, just for that fake "love-thy-neighbor" facial expression she kept putting on her face. I'm torn, though, because I do respect the rights of Bacon-Americans.
Posted by Sandiai on February 11, 2012 at 12:46 PM · Report this
sjbrot 4
"I'm not a lawyer, I'm just a mom." ARGH.
Posted by sjbrot on February 11, 2012 at 12:51 PM · Report this
Eli Sanders 5
@Smartypants: Wrong. There's Rep. Mark Hargrove, and there's Sen. Jim Hargrove. We're dealing with Mark here.
Posted by Eli Sanders on February 11, 2012 at 1:06 PM · Report this
Crazy Cat Guy's Husband 6
@2 To avoid being labeled a double-dumbfuck, you should note that Jim Hargrove is a DINO in the Senate, while Mark Hargrove is, as listed correctly on SLOG, a Republican representative.
Posted by Crazy Cat Guy's Husband on February 11, 2012 at 1:11 PM · Report this
johnyawl 7
Mark Hargrove represents my district, the 47th, and today is the only time in all eternity that I will vote for that dumfuck.
Posted by johnyawl on February 11, 2012 at 1:25 PM · Report this
prompt 8
Urgh. I am starting to resent spending valuable minutes of my life watching these. As far as I'm concerned, they call all tie for biggest retard.
Posted by prompt on February 11, 2012 at 1:45 PM · Report this
Canadian Nurse 9
I voted for Smith because her big thing was, "We haven't had enough time to think this through."

Really? Really?!?

Why didn't you start thinking during DOMA proceedings? Or when marriage equality became the law in Canada? Or when marriage equality became the law in California? If you're feeling rushed by a handful of hearings it's because you've had your head in the sand for a couple of decades. You've had plenty of chances to watch and see how marriage equality has affected other countries and other states. If you chose not to, it's not gay people's fault. Argh!!!

I need a drink.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on February 11, 2012 at 1:54 PM · Report this
Really, how can the dumb fuckery of a fast food chain meat patty TV commercial as metaphor be topped?
Posted by judybrowni on February 11, 2012 at 1:57 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 11
Ugh...but this is one is pretty, pretty simple; Hargrove hands down! Though I did get rather queasy after 30 seconds of Norma...I'm with @3 on her facial expressions.
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 11, 2012 at 2:12 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 12
Can't say I listened to all of each speech, but my impression is that Mark is a village idiot, while Norma is an evangelist who fully believes the crap she's saying. Vote Norma.
Posted by Michael of the Green on February 11, 2012 at 2:31 PM · Report this
Gurldoggie 13
Wow. Who the fuck do these clowns represent anyway? Can there really be so many people in this state who find themselves aligned with these incredibly ignorant and mean-spirited jackasses?

Anyway, I have a clear winner for this round and maybe for the whole competition. I get the distinct feeling that Hargrove has never given a second thought to ANYTHING, and couldn't care less about anyone else's problems. I have never seen anyone as smug in his ignorance as this asshole.
Posted by Gurldoggie on February 11, 2012 at 2:43 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 14
Smith's sacharine smile cannot possibly top the utter and complete dumbfuckedness of deciding civil rights based on a Jack-in-the-Box commercial.

Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 11, 2012 at 3:00 PM · Report this
rob! 15
To everybody saying things like "I can't believe there are so many Jesus-shouting fucktards representing people especially in a state like Washington," etc., etc.: please consider this your wakeup call.

THERE HAS LONG BEEN A STRATEGY among fundamentalist right-wingers to infiltrate government from the bottom up—school boards, planning commissions, town councils, state legislatures. Non-elected administrative positions as well.

I, too, have spent most of my life all but ignoring local government. No more. We need liberals/progressives to somehow find the same degree of self-righteous fire in the belly as evangelical reactionaries and run for office if possible, but at the very least PAY ATTENTION to the down-ballot races and VOTE, goddammit.
Posted by rob! on February 11, 2012 at 3:19 PM · Report this
@13: I am so with you. My first response after watching each of these videos so far has been: how the fuck did they get elected?! The representatives of Dumbfuckistan on full display.

In the end I went with Hargrove. You may now eat the bride.
Posted by gnossos on February 11, 2012 at 3:25 PM · Report this
Can I please deliver Hargrove's prizes personally when he inevitably wins this thing? Because I had to meet this asshole and then sit quietly when I went to infiltrate their Fascist Policy Institute of Washington meeting to plan how to preserve bigotry. I'd love to deliver the bad news in person.
Posted by Sean on February 11, 2012 at 3:59 PM · Report this
@5 - Sorry Eli. Didn't realize there are now two anti-gay Hargrove's in the Washington legislature. It's like when little Danny Roach was in the House and Mommy Pam in the Senate. Bat-shit and Bat-shittier.
Posted by Smartypants on February 11, 2012 at 7:19 PM · Report this
switzerblog 19
Awwww, but she opposes us out of love! Or some fucking thing.
Posted by switzerblog on February 11, 2012 at 7:58 PM · Report this
Cracker Jack 20
Hargrove will never understand love. He's a pathetic old man. If my child were gay I'd be THRILLED if he or she had found a partner they love enough to want to spend their life with. Hargrove is without a clue.
Posted by Cracker Jack on February 11, 2012 at 8:00 PM · Report this
@20: How, in this day and age, there are still people who are operating out of the 'gay is a choice' mindset is beyond me. Does he spend his time telling his kids that he's disappointed they are blonde/allergic to shellfish/have large feet/whatever? You know what I bet is really disappointing? Finding out your spouse married you purely out of social and family pressure to prove their hetero-cred, when they are actually gay.
Posted by FeralTurnip on February 11, 2012 at 8:47 PM · Report this
The Third Rail 22
Is "I had a brother-in-law and an uncle who died of AIDs, so this issue is very close to my heart" code for they were gay in republican land? What the hell was his point there? That said, I always lean towards the bigger dumbfuck award going to the hyper-religious. Hargrove may be a homophobe, but at least he didn't go to the same degree to try and mask it in "love and compassion". It should be Norma "I stand today in support of traditional marriage, hatred and bigotry" Smith.
Posted by The Third Rail on February 11, 2012 at 9:08 PM · Report this
Knat 23
A lot of stupid shit came out of Norma Smith's mouth, but using an analogy that relies on a Super Bowl ad* and following it with an appeal to his colleague's bigotry really is worse.

*Seriously, is Jack in the Box paying him for that plug? I really hope so.
Posted by Knat on February 11, 2012 at 11:56 PM · Report this
Hargrove is clearly an imbecile, and a long-winded one. He misinterprets a fast food chain's message that bacon is delicious as evidence that same-sex marriage is inferior to the penis-vagina kind. Bizarre and stupid. Norma Smith, on the other hand, is making a vile argument, in the name of compassion and religious tolerance, that bigotry and ignorance should be given special preference in crafting public policy. I think Smith is the more shameful example here.
Posted by crackedmachine on February 12, 2012 at 1:06 AM · Report this
I think I've got to go with Smith here b/c overall she just really strikes me as being dumber. Plus I can't STAND the super smarmy smile that goes with "but don't you understand how much it hurts us to not hurt you?" arguments. I will agree that Hargrove's Jack In The Box comparison was almost enough to net him my vote; almost but not quite.

@9 That was my exact same reaction.
Posted by bassplayerguy on February 12, 2012 at 9:58 AM · Report this
Arghh, these are all so difficult. I'm going with Hargrove because of the sheer incoherence, though I'll admit that Smith almost got it with the "I'm not a lawyer, I'm just a mom" line.
Posted by Lynx on February 12, 2012 at 2:04 PM · Report this
Puty 27
This parade of malignant stupidity, cowardice and xenophobia is an argument for the forced sterilization of Republican politicians.
Posted by Puty on February 12, 2012 at 2:20 PM · Report this
Puty 28
Also, I'd like to endorse Senator Bacon but Senator Sad Mom's dumbfuckery is just too powerful. She gets my vote.
Posted by Puty on February 12, 2012 at 2:28 PM · Report this
For me this was Norma easily. She just comes off as fully psychotic.
Posted by bleepinbleep on February 12, 2012 at 4:39 PM · Report this
Geni 30
@7 - Word. God DAMN it, I am so mad at Geoff Simpson right now. He's the reason we have that fucking embarrassment as our representative.
Posted by Geni on February 13, 2012 at 1:20 PM · Report this

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