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1
Ha ha ha! That'd be like Guitar Hero with no guitar controller!
Posted by maddogm13 on February 21, 2012 at 4:27 PM
gloomy gus 2
Definitely real. It's Matt Formerly Fuckin Hickey. And yes, Office may be silly and iPads frivolous, but nothing is wronger than hardware and software made to not work with each other. That makes it harder for different people to work together and understand each other, and that's the stupidest thing ever.
Posted by gloomy gus on February 21, 2012 at 4:32 PM
Will in Seattle 3
It does exist, and Apple lost a sale this weekend to an MBA grad friend of mine who wanted to buy an iPad2 with Office, due to Microsoft pretending that it doesn't exist.

Some of the plug ins don't work on the Apple OS version for laptops, by the way, so people have to dual boot and use different copies of OS to access docs - you store them on a stick in that case.

Seriously, nobody cares what your marketroids think, just release the code.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 21, 2012 at 4:41 PM
4
there's an app called Office HD that does this fine, so well that I always thought it was from Microsoft.
Posted by MikeB on February 21, 2012 at 4:42 PM
Fnarf 5
@3, help me, Jesus, here he comes again.

Explain to me why someone would try to run Office for iPads, if such a thing existed, on a laptop, instead of Office for Macintosh, which has existed for more than twenty years? And while you're at it explain why or how someone would be dual-booting Mac OSX and iPad's iOS on the same machine?

On second thought, don't. Because you can't. Because you haven't got a ghost of a glimmer of a clue what you're taking about. Explain instead why every time you unfurl your keyboard you reach a new low in understanding things? And why you seem determined to make yourself look like total shit for brains? Unless, perhaps, shit for brains is a step UP from your actual condition?

Seriously. See a doctor.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 21, 2012 at 5:06 PM
Reverse Polarity 6
God no. Office seems to get worse and more bloated with each new version. It peaked somewhere around version 5 more than a decade ago.

No thank you.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 21, 2012 at 5:10 PM
Doctor Memory 7
I think this will count as the first and only time I ever say this, but Fnarf? I think you misread Will's comment, by assuming that there was some sort of narrative connection between the first and second paragraphs. The second one is just the usual WiS free-association: "oh, and speaking of microsoft office", and is referring to the OSX version of office and might even be true on its own merits.

(That said, I'm not sure which "plug-ins" he's referring to: my guess is that this is WiS-speak for the fact that the second-most-recent version of Office/OSX lacked Visual BASIC for Applications support and thus couldn't fully use Word/Excel docs with VBA macros in them.)
Posted by Doctor Memory http://blahg.blank.org on February 21, 2012 at 5:27 PM
Fnarf 8
@7, he said "some of the plug-ins". Leaving aside the fact that "plug-ins" is the wrong word, without any other information to go on, one has to assume he's still talking about the iPad, right? He didn't say anything about Office for Mac. And, as you point out, Office for Mac has had VBA support restored in it for three years now.

And if your supposition is correct, then what's that about dual-booting? How does dual-booting restore VBA access to Office 2008? That doesn't make any sense. You could dual boot into Windows, I suppose, but that's not what he said.

His three paragraphs fail utterly both individually and as a whole. Seriously, he's malfunctioning.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 21, 2012 at 5:40 PM
Womyn2me 9
Can I get ITunes for Android? That would be better.
Posted by Womyn2me http://http:\\www.shelleyandlaura.com on February 21, 2012 at 6:00 PM
Will in Seattle 10
@5 because the processor for an iPad2 or iPad3 is more powerful than that used for a WinXP Office computer when it was released.

God, you're really stupid, did you know that?

By the way, NASA unplugged it's last mainframe.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 21, 2012 at 6:09 PM
Will in Seattle 11
@8 I said both. It's a suite, suites are released for a range of devices in an OS. You really need to get a clue stick and DDR it in.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 21, 2012 at 6:10 PM
this guy I know in Spokane 12
This kind of conversation always makes me think of walking in on a room full of graduate math TA's having a circle jerk.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on February 21, 2012 at 6:10 PM
Zebes 13
I picked the last option because I like the idea of making nasty comments about Microsoft products from my work computer at an MS building. I mean, what are they going to do? Send jackbooted MS thugs to come haul me away mid comment for saying something b
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on February 21, 2012 at 6:21 PM
Free Lunch 14
It can't be any worse than Apple's Office-like offering for iPad. Numbers, Apple's Excel, is great on the desktop but blows on the iPad.
Posted by Free Lunch on February 21, 2012 at 6:46 PM
care bear 15
Matt's still fucking, Gus.
Posted by care bear on February 21, 2012 at 7:00 PM
16
I'm trying to be completely done with MS Office. I have just enough geek blood that I'm getting by with OpenOffice (now, LibreOffice). As java-based open source, it could run on anything that can run java, at least theoretically, and a quick Google check shows a couple of websites saying it's been ported to iPad already. oh, and LibreOffice has my favorite user feature of any software -- it's free!
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 21, 2012 at 7:21 PM
Doctor Memory 17
Fnarf: dual-booting restored VBA access presumably because the other OS you were booting into would have been Windows.

...and then WiS attempts to use "DDR" as a verb, proving that he doesn't understand the difference between what DDR means in DRAM context and, one presumes, Dance Dance Revolution, so the expected normal WiS bullshit level is restored.
Posted by Doctor Memory http://blahg.blank.org on February 21, 2012 at 7:38 PM
SchmuckyTheCat 18
It's an easy assumption that skeleton versions of Office exist for pretty much any alternative OS ever. And it might even be enough to make screenshots - probably just static mockups - that can be dumped into PowerPoint presentations for executives. None of this means it has any functionality for end users, it just demonstrates that a few devs on a crash project can make demo code which sometimes gets leaked.

Too bad this explanation wasn't in the poll.
Posted by SchmuckyTheCat on February 21, 2012 at 7:54 PM
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 19

I remember when they used to make Microsoft Office for the Close 'n Play.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAKZ-O70w…
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://www.you-read-it-here-first.com on February 21, 2012 at 8:23 PM
Fnarf 20
@11,
@8 I said both. It's a suite, suites are released for a range of devices in an OS. You really need to get a clue stick and DDR it in.


Both what? You can't even write a sentence.

And, in addition to DDR, you don't know what "suite" means. Suites are not in fact "released for a range of devices in an OS". That doesn't even make any sense. Office is a "suite" because it encompasses a range of related programs: Word, Excel, Outlook, etc. But Office doesn't know or care what device you have, only the OS. Office 2010 runs under both XP and 7, for instance -- ANY computer. And Office 2007, Office 2008, Office 2010, and Office 2011 are different suites. Christ, why am I explaining this to a block of wood?

If you are suggesting that Office 2011 for the Mac, which is already released, is the same product as this putative Office for iPad, you are wrong.

Of course, we already knew you were wrong, just not HOW wrong. Every day that ocean of wrongness turns out to be larger than previously believed.

You also seem to believe that OSX and iOS are the same thing. Also wrong. And not just "no, you misunderstand" wrong, but "you know absolutely nothing about Macs, iPads, or computers in general" wrong. You never even get the jargon right.

Every Mac user and every Windows user reading this forum is laughing at you, Will.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 21, 2012 at 9:50 PM
21
Is Will in Seattle constantly high? That's the only logical explanation.
Posted by Zeusifer on February 21, 2012 at 11:27 PM
Knat 22
@20: Fnarf, you just gotta DDR that in, man. Like these guys did. They're clearly making use of their clue sticks.
Posted by Knat on February 22, 2012 at 12:07 AM
watchout5 23
Open office has proven time and time again to be light years better than Micy Office. Anyone still using microsoft office is either a stupid pirate or a wasteful newb. The thing crashes all the time on windows, I wouldn't support this program until I saw it in action, and I'd still tell you to switch over to the open source one, though can you install your own programs on an ipad? Whatever, good luck with your paperweight.
Posted by watchout5 http://www.overclockeddrama.com on February 22, 2012 at 1:41 AM
24
@23 Here's an old news story which talks about the porting projects of Open/Libre Office: http://www.zdnet.com/news/libreoffice-ex…

And a story about how Microsoft is trying to develop a version of their OS that will prevent using anyone else's desktop apps: http://www.pcpro.co.uk/news/372721/windo…
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 22, 2012 at 4:48 AM
25
Why would I want to run Microsoft products on an Apple device? Would I ever contemplate the reverse? Of course not. Anyway, the entire information technology industry sucks in a way that is hard to express in words. Apple is the least sucky so I will stick with them as well as with open source (as mentioned above).
Posted by Mr. J on February 22, 2012 at 5:52 AM
Fnarf 26
@23, I hate MS Office with a white-hot passion sometimes, but, after having installed it maybe three thousand times in my life, on computers ranging from Windows 3.1 to 7 Pro, I can't think of a case off the top of my head where it crashed "all the time", or even once.

@25, there wouldn't BE an Apple if it wasn't for Office. Office (or its components) has been one of the top-selling applications for the Mac since the very beginning; Word for Mac came out in 1984, and Microsoft's Mac strategy saved Apple from bankruptcy at least twice. It may not float your boat, and there may be free options now, but millions of people have answered your question with "yes".
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 22, 2012 at 9:07 AM
Will in Seattle 27
@14 is correct.

Even InfoWorld agrees with me, and calls Fnarf lame.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on February 22, 2012 at 11:12 AM
Dougsf 28
Why not? Office 2010 feels like it was made for a tablet. It's a piece of shit.
Posted by Dougsf on February 22, 2012 at 12:38 PM
Kitts 29
The last time I tried Open Office (2006? 2007?) for Mac, it was slow and awkward and freaked out when I tried to open documents in Chinese or Japanese. So I switched to Office for Mac, which was better than the Windows version I was used to. A lot of free software I've tried has had trouble with Asian text. So there are reasons to go with the big expensive software, especially if you get a student discount.
Posted by Kitts on February 22, 2012 at 5:25 PM

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