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1
White people, everyone! Tell your pagan friends!
Posted by Chaka mad. Chaka real mad. on March 28, 2012 at 11:23 AM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 2
White people are more holy.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on March 28, 2012 at 11:24 AM · Report this
3
I hate seafood, so I had no idea that calamari is intoxicating. From now on, I will always be the designated "no squid" driver so that my friends and I will not kill innocent children in a daycare.
Posted by LML on March 28, 2012 at 11:25 AM · Report this
4
White is the new black.
Posted by Ivan on March 28, 2012 at 11:30 AM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 5
How can white people sing like that and not be the least bit embarrassed?
Posted by Reverse Polarity on March 28, 2012 at 11:31 AM · Report this
porkfish66 6
good god. was that really necessary? i hate it when the lion food thinks its all hip and musical.
Posted by porkfish66 on March 28, 2012 at 11:31 AM · Report this
7
I'm going to have to go watch some porn to get that foul taste out of my mouth.
Posted by Ivan on March 28, 2012 at 11:31 AM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 8
... while wearing a sweater, no less.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on March 28, 2012 at 11:31 AM · Report this
9
"undeserving of love" because they're not worshipping appropriately? Stay class christianity.
Posted by Hagenda on March 28, 2012 at 11:32 AM · Report this
10
Uh, classy I mean.
Posted by Hagenda on March 28, 2012 at 11:33 AM · Report this
Foghorn Leghorn 11
I'm glad SLOG posts things like this. I mean, this is so far outside my normal frame of reference. All I can do is stare, bewildered, and try to make sense of someone in the crowd or on youtube who is really, legitimately enjoying that show.
Posted by Foghorn Leghorn on March 28, 2012 at 11:46 AM · Report this
aureolaborealis 12
I grew up around herds of smug Christian teens, and decades later, seeing a room full of them still gives me that good old adrenaline dump ... half panic, half anger and half imagining all the shame-drenched sexytime and self-pollution they get up to when they think God isn't paying attention because he's busy giving AIDS to the children of unbelievers.
Posted by aureolaborealis on March 28, 2012 at 11:49 AM · Report this
ballard dude 13
This is the thing I just hate about christian music... stealing popular music and changing it to get the 'message' across. Calamari? Really? I was at a christian rock concert in high school, Memorial Stadium here in Seattle, early 80's. The performers introduced "My Sweet Lord" by saying, "We're gonna take back this song for God!" as if somehow they had a right to it, and that somehow George Harrison had stolen it from the xtians. It was at that moment, I swear, that I started rethinking the whole born-again thing...
Posted by ballard dude on March 28, 2012 at 11:51 AM · Report this
brandon 14
Generally they are the ones who squirt out a kid at 21 and never accomplish anything worth a damn. So there's that.
Posted by brandon on March 28, 2012 at 11:57 AM · Report this
Beetlecat 15
@6 =D
Posted by Beetlecat on March 28, 2012 at 11:59 AM · Report this
Mischa Vainburg 16
@9 The basic premise of Christianity is that all humans - even those who "worship appropriately" - are undeserving of love because we're such vile, selfish sinners, but God loves us anyway and sent Jebus to die so we can be blessed with the love we don't really deserve because 6,000 years ago some people ate a piece of fruit. It all makes so much sense!
Posted by Mischa Vainburg http://squidbasedink.wordpress.com on March 28, 2012 at 12:00 PM · Report this
Akbar Fazil 17
I used to be one of those kids. I am so glad my life was saved when I discovered porn and pot.
Posted by Akbar Fazil on March 28, 2012 at 12:03 PM · Report this
18
Eating calamari isn't Christian? I've got a coupla friends in Bensonhurst that might want a few words with you.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on March 28, 2012 at 12:23 PM · Report this
LadyLaurel 19
Sad thing is, there is such a thing as good music with Christian themes. Many talented musical artists who happen to be Christian will devote a song or two to their feelings about God, faith and the universe. These tend to be very personal, heartfelt and sometimes rather less than joyous.

Christian music as a genre, though? Gives me the crawling heebie jeebies, that. It seems to be all about whitewashing away any legitimate feeling, experience or individuality in favor of this creepy bubblegum cultism.
Posted by LadyLaurel http://https://twitter.com/#!/XXLadyLaurelXX on March 28, 2012 at 12:24 PM · Report this
Irena 20
OH MY FUCKING GOD THE SWEATER SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN
Posted by Irena on March 28, 2012 at 12:40 PM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 21
@16- To be fair, that's the basic premise of one brand of Christianity.
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings http://www.reddit.com/r/spaceclop on March 28, 2012 at 12:41 PM · Report this
J-Haxx 22
So it looked like there was a Priest on stage, and at one point they sing something about praying to the Holy Mother, so I am guessing these guys are Catholic, which confuses me because I thought only Protestants did sh*t like this.
Posted by J-Haxx http://defyaugury.livejournal.com on March 28, 2012 at 12:44 PM · Report this
23
Nothing more unholy than calamari.
Eating a tentacle is like wearing a pentacle.
Posted by dirge on March 28, 2012 at 12:47 PM · Report this
24
So um, because he's "made the switch" does that mean everybody can just forget about the crashed, stolen Ferrari and the bashed up Christian day care. He doesn't mention it, but maybe some little innocent Christians were hurt or worse? Is this part of his plea for them, or their presumably Christian parents, to forgive him? Then he can walk around all cool in his sweater vest?
Is that how it works?
Countdown to Zimmerman finding God.
Posted by Bionic on March 28, 2012 at 1:15 PM · Report this
thatsnotright 25
Christians should stick to hymns and gospel. Let's get back to premise rock was Satan's music.
Posted by thatsnotright on March 28, 2012 at 1:18 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 26
God said thou shalt not eat the flesh of beasts with cloven hooves or shellfish.

Those aren't "Christans" ... For they abhor God's Laws ...
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on March 28, 2012 at 1:21 PM · Report this
Ophian 27
Here in TX the radio plays such favorites as YHWH [wy-aich-dubyoo-aich]sung to the tune of YMCA. I ask you, is nothing sacred?
Posted by Ophian on March 28, 2012 at 2:17 PM · Report this
28
I actually thought this was mostly adorable (except for the one line when he dissed pagans).

What's the big deal about this? Someone made a filksong and people are getting into it. There's nothing wrong with that. It's not like they're breaking into gay bars and pumping this stuff in through the windows.
Posted by DRF on March 28, 2012 at 2:53 PM · Report this
Mudkips 29
Gay
Posted by Mudkips on March 28, 2012 at 3:15 PM · Report this
30
This song doesn't make any sense. First, he's all about how god's going to forgive everybody unconditionally, but then says you have to actually do good. Also, I really didn't get how that pagan bit in the first verse fit in - song went straight from saying he pities any fool that lives for.. (? a presumably heathen second party?) and that they should just run on back their pagan (someone please tell him that pagan != heathen) friends, but that god forgives them all anyway? No consistency, I can't work out who he's talking to/about from one line to the next.

Rating: 5/10. Nice idea, I agree with DRF that it's mostly adorable, but points off all round for muddled, incoherent execution.
Posted by truant on March 28, 2012 at 3:25 PM · Report this
31
I was a rabid Christian teenager... would have LOVED this... now I feel so nauseous I need to lay down. The shame of who I was then makes me sick, and hopefully all those happy Christian teens get to feel this. It's called growing up and facing reality.
Posted by auntielarrie on March 28, 2012 at 3:54 PM · Report this
CharlesF 32
The part I really don't like about Christianity is where he says, "Now I know I'm not the best, but I sure know that I'm blessed."

The whole idea that you should be super proud of yourself for believing seems to me to wreck the entire institution.
Posted by CharlesF on March 28, 2012 at 3:58 PM · Report this
33
Ugh. Glee gets godly.
Posted by fubarista on March 28, 2012 at 4:03 PM · Report this
34
To give these stupid kids more credit than they deserve, they at least chose to steal one of the most ridiculously catchy songs of the past several years.

Posted by Functional Atheist on March 28, 2012 at 4:06 PM · Report this
35
The guys in this video seem to understand how silly they're being. The whole thing just came off as something done in fun, intentionally tongue-in-cheek.

It reminds me of when I first heard about Project Snowflake. At first I was all EEEEEEK at all the anti-choice rhetoric, then I sat down and thought, "But what they're actually DOING is giving people who WANT a certain reproductive option an easier crack at it."

This video might appeal to sensibilities that many of us don't like (or have had bad experiences with) but what these people are actually DOING is singing a fun little song to a non-coerced audience. This is more about making music than anything political.
Posted by DRF on March 28, 2012 at 4:15 PM · Report this
36
Since when is eating calimari a sin in Christianity? When I converted from Christianity to Judaism, I was saddened by the restriction on shell fish and other non-scaled, non-finned fish. I sure do miss shrimp!

@27, I'm surprised your local Jewish population hasn't gone ballistic over that song, especially any Orthodox Jews. That name, which is YHVH, not YHWH, is only supposed to be pronounced in the Temple by the High Priest on Yom Kippur (which is now impossible since the Temple no longer exists and there is no High Priest). In prayer you don't even come close to saying it, substituting Adonai (Lord) instead. Maybe because it's a Christian station, no Jews have heard it?
Posted by SherBee on March 28, 2012 at 6:10 PM · Report this
Free Lunch 37
Sounds like he thinks calamari is something only rich people can afford. Midwestern rube, I take it.
Posted by Free Lunch on March 28, 2012 at 6:47 PM · Report this
38
@26 You've got the cloven hooves thing wrong. The kosher meat mammals are ruminants WITH cloven hooves. Pigs fail because they're not ruminants, and because they're also singled out as... pigs. Cows, sheep, goats all have cloven hooves and are edible if you get through the other zillion rules: rabbinical supervision, humanely killed, properly drained of blood, not sprinkled with parmesan cheese, etc., etc., etc.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on March 28, 2012 at 7:20 PM · Report this
39
@38, are you surprised that WiS got something wrong?
Posted by clashfan on March 28, 2012 at 7:50 PM · Report this
40
That is just...embarrassing. I couldn't watch the whole thing. I was Jesus-y for a couple of years as a teen too but if I'd been present at something like this it would have hastened my conversion to atheism.
Posted by nokidsandthreemoney on March 28, 2012 at 8:30 PM · Report this
41
What's that line about the devil being able to quote scripture -- is this the reverse? i.e. we'll use their devil swearing music for godly ends, and that's somehow OK, and not just totally disrespectful both to your god and to their musicians?

Ick.
Posted by Nitidiuscula on March 28, 2012 at 10:01 PM · Report this
42
I was OK with it until White Jesus came in. Then I couldn't take any more.
Posted by random_lez on March 28, 2012 at 11:28 PM · Report this
43
Not a very Christian sentiment, I'm afraid, but I want to kick all these people in the genitals so much that my toes itch.
Posted by NT on March 29, 2012 at 5:53 AM · Report this
44
God might forgive them but don't think Ceelo would for this effort.

As you watch, there's an opportunity for a fun game, here's the rules: score a point for every time you think, 'Wow what a catchy song, even with the mental lyrics'. 2 points each for coming up with any scenarios of club/party/show were this song would constitute a normal part of proceedings.

Bonus points for every sighting of: 1- an over-excited christian girl that you think you'd be happy to 'pollute',
2-Token black guy 3- obviously camp, but obviously closeted, backing singer and 4-of Jesus's man-boobs jiggling like Dolly Parton without a girdle.

Double bonus points for all wrongly capitalised Words you Can spot on the lyric promPter-thingiE.

Bulls eye if you can identify which of the ripe and ready christian girls the singer had to later ask god to forgive him for plucking from the midst of the innocents (and god will forgive him too, as per song. Hallelujah).
Posted by Shams on March 29, 2012 at 7:21 AM · Report this
keksutaja 45
yes, leave the pagans be!

sincerely,
a pagan
Posted by keksutaja on March 29, 2012 at 7:40 AM · Report this
Ophian 46
@ 35, thank you for coming here to enlighten us and teach us to think more broadly about those with whom we differ. Also you're an idiot.

@ 36, Any jew who gets their payesses in a bunch over YHWH might as well stone people for saying Jehova. Besides, this is Texas. Even the jews are baptists.
Posted by Ophian on March 29, 2012 at 9:49 AM · Report this
47
@ 46 You're welcome, Ophian, but while my work here may be done for today, there are always others in need. Just sign the DRF signal into the Gotham night sky if you should need me again.
Posted by DRF on March 29, 2012 at 10:27 AM · Report this
hawkswine 48
Ok, I'm against hypocritical Christian-ist crap as much as the next thinking person, but I found this video to be kind of sweet. That first verse wasn't anti-Ferrari/Calamari - it was saying stealing a car and pretending to be a billionaire when you're not is something you should be sorry for. Which is true, right? Stealing a car and being a hypocrite is something we can all agree with is pretty wrong. Right?

And so the kid is white, wearing a sweater and is a giant dork. If this video were exactly the same but the words of the song were about how "It gets better" for gay kids Dan would post it with praise - as well he should. The kid's got a great voice, the song is super fun (@34 got it right there) and IMHO teens being creative, expressive, positive and putting together a darn good stage show should get a little leeway with the whole copyright thing.

I'm with @35. From this video, I'm not willing to say these kids are guilty by association with other Christian who in the past have been bigoted jerks. They are just kids having fun. Let them be.
Posted by hawkswine on March 29, 2012 at 12:44 PM · Report this
hawkswine 49
Ok, I'm against hypocritical Christian-ist crap as much as the next thinking person, but I found this video to be kind of sweet. That first verse wasn't anti-Ferrari/Calamari - it was saying stealing a car and pretending to be a billionaire when you're not is something you should be sorry for. Which is true, right? Stealing a car and being a hypocrite is something we can all agree with is pretty wrong. Right?

And so the kid is white, wearing a sweater and is a giant dork. If this video were exactly the same but the words of the song were about how "It gets better" for gay kids Dan would post it with praise - as well he should. The kid's got a great voice, the song is super fun (@34 got it right there) and IMHO teens being creative, expressive, positive and putting together a darn good stage show should get a little leeway with the whole copyright thing.

I'm with @35. From this video, I'm not willing to say these kids are guilty by association with other Christian who in the past have been bigoted jerks. They are just kids having fun. Let them be.
Posted by hawkswine on March 29, 2012 at 12:50 PM · Report this
geoz 50
A room full of future promise-keeper oath-breakers. I know... I'm just cynical.
Posted by geoz on March 30, 2012 at 11:46 AM · Report this
51
ummmm.....is Cee Lo suing them? can I sue them? you know...for the whole 'embarrassing all white youth everywhere' thing?
Posted by kmac on March 30, 2012 at 1:03 PM · Report this

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