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Matt from Denver 1
This the best you could find? Time to add a "zzzzzzzzz" tag to this post.
Posted by Matt from Denver on April 15, 2012 at 7:23 AM · Report this
Daddy Love 2
By "little ones" do they mean "penises?" Straight up gangsta.
Posted by Daddy Love on April 15, 2012 at 7:34 AM · Report this
Vince 3
The history of "Pro-life".

Posted by Vince on April 15, 2012 at 7:38 AM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 4
So God's pro-choice?
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on April 15, 2012 at 8:22 AM · Report this
5
Wait. All of them? Even the good Samaritans?
Posted by Charlie Mas on April 15, 2012 at 9:06 AM · Report this
BLUE 6
Ha ha ha
Posted by BLUE on April 15, 2012 at 9:09 AM · Report this
Fred Casely 7
@6: What makes it especially hilarious is knowing that Samaria is the West Bank, and thousands of years later this is actually happening pretty much every day.
Posted by Fred Casely on April 15, 2012 at 9:25 AM · Report this
8
Oh, merciful Lord.
Posted by ohthetrees on April 15, 2012 at 9:31 AM · Report this
COMTE 9
Yep, Yahweh lurves ALL his children - except for the ones he wants you to eviscerate...
Posted by COMTE on April 15, 2012 at 9:46 AM · Report this
Zotz 10
The Samaritans, according to recent science, were the original Jews. Jerusalem is not the capitol of Israel, Solomon's temple never existed, Mt. Gerizim in Samaria was the site of a fabulous jewish temple, and Samaria and Samaritans were demonized and edited out in the OT (as evidenced by today's verse).

http://www.spiegel.de/international/worl…
Posted by Zotz on April 15, 2012 at 9:53 AM · Report this
Xenos 11
Just some more sagely advice from the world's best-seller.
Posted by Xenos on April 15, 2012 at 9:53 AM · Report this
OuterCow 12
"That which is hateful to you, do to your neighbors. That is the whole Torah; the rest explanation; now go and learn."
Posted by OuterCow on April 15, 2012 at 9:58 AM · Report this
pissy mcslogbot 13
And verily it was commanded to him that he fasten his dog to the roof of the family station wagon and to make not an enemy of one who would barbecueith a dog, lo instead let him host a celebration for thine wife.

the book of Mitt 20:12
Posted by pissy mcslogbot on April 15, 2012 at 10:27 AM · Report this
Simone 14
This has something to do with the Titanic. What that something is I don't know.
Posted by Simone on April 15, 2012 at 10:57 AM · Report this
seandr 15
Ok ok, we get it, our team is awesome, the other team will be dashed upon rocks, yada yada yada.

I just remembered that I hooked up with my first hit of acid from a kid at Sunday school. It was called "Around the World" and had a little earth icon stamped on it.
Posted by seandr on April 15, 2012 at 11:21 AM · Report this
slade 16
Yup! after the eviction from the garden of Eden Humanity was forced to "deal" with it cruel self and to deal with a pissed off God? and all of the big ass kickings from god seem to stem from rebellion as they do from in any religion it seems.
But yes God Chills and God Kicks back and god lays low.
Genesis 8:21
Posted by slade http://www.youtube.com/user/guppygator on April 15, 2012 at 12:14 PM · Report this
venomlash 17
Hosea is one of those prophets of doom. What more needs to be said?

@12: Fuck off, asshole.
Posted by venomlash on April 15, 2012 at 12:50 PM · Report this
Knat 18
"But remember, the Thou Shalt Not Kill rule is still in effect. So... work within those parameters. I trust you guys will figure it out. I'll be busy burying more fake dinosaur bones as a test of faith for later generations, so I'll check back on you later."
Posted by Knat on April 15, 2012 at 12:57 PM · Report this
19
Seems a lot like the current unrest in the Middle East...lennia been that a way off and on for 4 millennia, eh???
Posted by pupuguru http://www.godsweed.org on April 15, 2012 at 7:13 PM · Report this
blackhook 20
For the religion business, this is a Godsend. If we could rip the unholy fetus from every pregnant atheist, bingo, we would have no more future unbelievers!

Praise God & pass the offering plate!!
Posted by blackhook on April 15, 2012 at 9:50 PM · Report this
Rob in Baltimore 21
The Bible is chock full of baby killin'!
Posted by Rob in Baltimore http://www.wishbookweb.com/ on April 16, 2012 at 5:37 AM · Report this
22
yes, Hosea was a prophet of doom but he also talks about God wooing the children of Israel and desiring the children of Israel. I love that! If God can woo and desire than why is sexuality such a "bad" think for so many Christians today?
Posted by Bibledork on April 16, 2012 at 10:35 AM · Report this
23
Yes, Hosea was a prophet of doom but he also talks about God wooing the children of Israel and desiring the children of Israel. I love that! If God can woo an desire than why is sexuality such a "bad" thing for so many Christians historically right up to today. It's sad.
Posted by Bibledork on April 16, 2012 at 10:41 AM · Report this
venomlash 24
@22: In Judaism, the Sabbath is conceptualized as a bride.
Posted by venomlash on April 16, 2012 at 1:28 PM · Report this

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