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1
I never read 'em, and only saw the first one, but I recall hearing mention that the "sparkle" is the evidence of the last remaining effect of sunlight on them. They'd picked Forks as a city because it's "the most overcast place in the world" or something, so there's not that much sunlight? (Wtf?) But there's a little bit of sunlight... so they don't burn to a crisp... they just sparkle... or somethjing...
Posted by kukl on July 20, 2012 at 11:52 AM · Report this
David Schmader 2
Bah! Sorry I missed this.
Posted by David Schmader on July 20, 2012 at 11:54 AM · Report this
3
I don't understand why everyone hates on Twilight. Our kids will one day ask us how it felt to live at a time when the best bad movies ever made came out.
Posted by redemma on July 20, 2012 at 11:55 AM · Report this
MLP 4
It's her twist on the mythology. Vamps don't die in sunlight, they just sparkle like crazy, giving away their super secret (the fact that vamps exist). This is why they moved to Forks...
Posted by MLP on July 20, 2012 at 12:01 PM · Report this
Zebes 5
That sounds like a lot of fun. I'm sorry to have missed it.

Hey, their home base is the Drafthouse? That's the chain that kicked out the cell phone girl. I am rather liking this place.
Posted by Zebes http://www.badrap.org/rescue/index.html on July 20, 2012 at 12:22 PM · Report this
6
My girlfriend and I have been watching the series with similar aid from the guys at Rifftrax and, yeah, with those, we're really looking forward to seeing the next movie. Y'know, when it's out on DVD and we can get it from Redbox and spend a night cackling.
Posted by Chris B http://eccentric-orbit.org on July 20, 2012 at 12:26 PM · Report this
7
@ 1 and 4. I understand that part—but *why* do they sparkle in the sunshine? What about vampire anatomy causes that?
Posted by Brendan Kiley on July 20, 2012 at 12:32 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 8
Vampire lore note: Vampires did not die in the sunlight until 1922 when Nosferatu completely ruined the whole thing. Dracula was only stronger at night, but in no way harmed by the daylight. Nosferatu took many liberties with the story (and the producers got their asses sued by Bram Stoker's estate), one of which being the lame-ass deus-ex-machina resolution-by-sunrise.

For some reason, that piece stuck with vampires for the next 90 years or so.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on July 20, 2012 at 12:32 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 9
@7 - Maybe with a really good sunblock, any vampire would sparkle like that.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on July 20, 2012 at 12:33 PM · Report this
10
@7: It's their latent homosexuality. At least that's my theory. The parts of the book that don't read like the vamp's an overly possessive dipshit of a boyfriend, he reads gayer than a tree full of monkeys. He doesn't want to touch her, he keeps her on a pedestal, blah blah blah. They're like repressed Elton Johns.

I don't recall if she ever said WHY, in her brain, they sparkle.
Posted by NateMan on July 20, 2012 at 12:55 PM · Report this
Dougsf 11
If they just would have move to Sequim, none of this would have ever happened.

Also, am I hearing it wrong or do these movies end with the one dude that doesn't get the girl dating her baby as a consolation? That's some Biblical shit right there.
Posted by Dougsf on July 20, 2012 at 1:40 PM · Report this
COMTE 12
Nice try Brendan, but Schmader already used the correct, proper spelling in his SLOG post yesterday, and it's also correctly spelled on The Stranger's own Suggests page, so what's the point of insisting on misspelling it now?

Grand Experiment = FAIL.
Posted by COMTE on July 20, 2012 at 1:45 PM · Report this
TVDinner 13
@7: Bedazzler. Ask Dolly Parton to explain it to you. Duh.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on July 20, 2012 at 1:51 PM · Report this
MLP 14
Brendan - magic. She never really explains.
Posted by MLP on July 20, 2012 at 2:00 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 15
@10 - Pfft. I know lots of closet cases who don't sparkle at all.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on July 20, 2012 at 2:02 PM · Report this
evilvolus 16
@11 - That is pretty much exactly what happens. One of the earlier books establishes a magical werewolf love-at-first-sight thing, and Jacob bonds-or-whatever-I'm-not-looking-it-up with the little dhampir baby.

I guess she grows up really fast, so it's only completely icky instead of...err...
Posted by evilvolus on July 20, 2012 at 3:02 PM · Report this
evilvolus 17
The definition of sunlight is pretty fuzzy too. He's apparently able to sit in the kitchen of Bella's mom's place in Miami, looking out through a sliding-glass door at them sunbathing, without lighting up like a Christmas Tree.

All of this is just a lot of words that add up to "the shit is poorly written, and please stop thinking about it"
Posted by evilvolus on July 20, 2012 at 3:06 PM · Report this
Posted by StuckInUtah on July 20, 2012 at 3:11 PM · Report this
Posted by kevomatic on July 20, 2012 at 4:30 PM · Report this
20
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Posted by Claire_healthguru on July 26, 2012 at 5:39 AM · Report this
21
I am a huge fan of Twilight Series. Robert Pattison is worlds most handsome vampire ever :D

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Posted by david_tour2india4health on August 2, 2012 at 1:38 AM · Report this
22
Egarly waiting for twilight breaking dawn part 2 where Bela finally turns into a Vampire

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Posted by sam123d on August 4, 2012 at 3:39 AM · Report this

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