Slog Comments
Today in Traditional Marriage
3
Dan,
Can't you just send these stories directly to Brown and Gallagher and spare the rest of us? Or is there some benefit to pointing out that there are malignant dumbfucks in all walks of life?
Can't you just send these stories directly to Brown and Gallagher and spare the rest of us? Or is there some benefit to pointing out that there are malignant dumbfucks in all walks of life?
6
@3 - This is probably a more efficient way to make sure they see it. You know they read the gay blogs every day to try to find signs of anti-Christian persecution, right?
7
@2: Just think how safe it got up in there when the cops stormed in with their guns!
One question I have though, was the dumbfuck told that the wife was in on this too? Because if so, I kind of feel sorry for the dumb bastard if he honestly just thought he was being this couple's "third."
Still a dumbfuck though for just taking the husband's words at face value, and not meeting with the couple ahead of time.
One question I have though, was the dumbfuck told that the wife was in on this too? Because if so, I kind of feel sorry for the dumb bastard if he honestly just thought he was being this couple's "third."
Still a dumbfuck though for just taking the husband's words at face value, and not meeting with the couple ahead of time.
8
Taking this story at face value and assuming the suspect isn't making it up in some desperate attempt to get out of trouble, this really is a case of criminal stupidity (actually if he is making it up, it's still criminal stupidity). Before taking someone up on an offer like this you check to make sure everyone involved actually wants it to take place. I hope the husband faces some pretty serious charges too.
9
@3
Maggie and Brian's explicitly stated theory is that the very best of gay couples is worse at marriage and more of a danger to society than the very best of straight couples.
That clowns like this just fit into the white noise of How Marriage Works, and What Can You Do, but that gay couples must be prevented from marriage no matter what the cost.
Maggie and Brian's explicitly stated theory is that the very best of gay couples is worse at marriage and more of a danger to society than the very best of straight couples.
That clowns like this just fit into the white noise of How Marriage Works, and What Can You Do, but that gay couples must be prevented from marriage no matter what the cost.
10
Somebody should take that gun away from her before she hurts somebody!
(at least according to many on slog)
(at least according to many on slog)
11
The comments on the CNN page are pretty messed up too. Lots of "No sane woman has ever had a rape fantasy."
Not in any way justifying the husband's or wanna-be-rapist's stupid/abhorrent/evil actions, it's just obvious that CNN's readers don't tune-in to Savage Love.
Not in any way justifying the husband's or wanna-be-rapist's stupid/abhorrent/evil actions, it's just obvious that CNN's readers don't tune-in to Savage Love.
14
I reckon you could hold a bewildered rape fantasist off with a kitchen knife just as easily, and without justifying huge numbers of mass murders each year.
15
@8, Her husband is being charged with solicitation of rape and burglary, and is being held on $100,000 bond.
17
Hard to understand the husband's thought process, after the first attempt failed on Friday. Assuming that either the wife or the Friday-wannabe-rapist must have told the husband about the attempted rape... what goes through his head at that point?
A. Shit, better get on Craigslist and line someone else up for tomorrow, or
B. Good thing I already have Michael booked to try tomorrow
I also wonder whether he considered letting Michael know his wife had a gun, and had been almost raped the day before. The sheer recklessness of the husband is astounding.
A. Shit, better get on Craigslist and line someone else up for tomorrow, or
B. Good thing I already have Michael booked to try tomorrow
I also wonder whether he considered letting Michael know his wife had a gun, and had been almost raped the day before. The sheer recklessness of the husband is astounding.
18
So is this an elaborate alibi set up by the would-be rapist? Or an attempt at free hired violence by the husband? There's surely something going on below the surface.
Either way, they should have given the would-be rapist a fake safe word. "But she never said arugula!"
Either way, they should have given the would-be rapist a fake safe word. "But she never said arugula!"
19
@9, i think you meant the 'very worst of straight couples.' and noadi, there is probably a LOT of criminal stupidity in twin falls, idaho.
20
@7-from everything I've read the dumbass thought the wife was in on it and had no idea what the husband was up to. The dumbass immediately handed over his cell phone to the cops so they could review the email/text messages between the husband and the dumbass.
23
@16: I don't think Dan ever said that the would-be rapist was the only dumbfuck. I think this is a multiple dumbfuck story.
25
@14 As a former cop, I can tell you you are very wrong.
We could debate gun control all day, but knives are not an alternative. If you are afraid of guns, do NOT use a knife for self defense. The stronger or more experienced party will always turn it against you. After all, you have to get really close to use it AND you have to hit the right spots.
Pepper spray, etc. are also bad in enclosed environments as it generally incapacitates anyone in the room. (Yes, people are really so stupid as to use it indoors and think it won't affect them too just because they sprayed it away from themselves).
Stun guns may work, depending on your aim and the type of environment you are in. Many people don't actually use them properly.
The best thing to have for self defense, if you are afraid of guns or have some moral stance against them, is a Louisville Slugger. You can use it on a rapist without having to get as close to them and you can hit them hard with very little arm strength.
In other words, get a sturdy club that's as long as you can reasonably wield.
Also, you should look up the mortality figures for surviving a knife wound v. gunshot wounds. Having seen both up close and personal, I'd rather be shot.
We could debate gun control all day, but knives are not an alternative. If you are afraid of guns, do NOT use a knife for self defense. The stronger or more experienced party will always turn it against you. After all, you have to get really close to use it AND you have to hit the right spots.
Pepper spray, etc. are also bad in enclosed environments as it generally incapacitates anyone in the room. (Yes, people are really so stupid as to use it indoors and think it won't affect them too just because they sprayed it away from themselves).
Stun guns may work, depending on your aim and the type of environment you are in. Many people don't actually use them properly.
The best thing to have for self defense, if you are afraid of guns or have some moral stance against them, is a Louisville Slugger. You can use it on a rapist without having to get as close to them and you can hit them hard with very little arm strength.
In other words, get a sturdy club that's as long as you can reasonably wield.
Also, you should look up the mortality figures for surviving a knife wound v. gunshot wounds. Having seen both up close and personal, I'd rather be shot.
26
Oh the dumbfuckery is strong in this one.
First: "It turns out that this wasn't the first time a man broke into this couple's house and attempted to rape the wife while her husband was away". Okay, so the husband tried to do this before? That would be my first assumption. Sorry, but I think it's fairly rare that a stranger breaks into a house and rapes someone (not that it doesn't happen). When it happens twice you gotta think something is going on.
Second, did the man meet either one of them? What would be even more super-sucky is if the husband wasn't involved - just some sadist who knows the couples patterns and puts this together.
Think the rapist should go to jail for (1) being a rapist and (2) for being _that_ dumb. The husband should go to jail for a MUCH LONGER time for (1) arranging (multiple times I guess) the sexual assault of his wife and (2) being a generally sadistic (and not in the good way) human being.
First: "It turns out that this wasn't the first time a man broke into this couple's house and attempted to rape the wife while her husband was away". Okay, so the husband tried to do this before? That would be my first assumption. Sorry, but I think it's fairly rare that a stranger breaks into a house and rapes someone (not that it doesn't happen). When it happens twice you gotta think something is going on.
Second, did the man meet either one of them? What would be even more super-sucky is if the husband wasn't involved - just some sadist who knows the couples patterns and puts this together.
Think the rapist should go to jail for (1) being a rapist and (2) for being _that_ dumb. The husband should go to jail for a MUCH LONGER time for (1) arranging (multiple times I guess) the sexual assault of his wife and (2) being a generally sadistic (and not in the good way) human being.
27
Erica,
I used to be a cop. This sort of thing happens more than you'd think. It's usually one of two things: either the husband wants to completely humiliate and emotionally eviscerate her or he wants her dead but didn't want to outright ask for that. Either way, he's either a psychopath or sociopath. Normal human logic won't enter into it. The failure of the first attempt probably just made him angrier and more determined to "get" her.
I used to be a cop. This sort of thing happens more than you'd think. It's usually one of two things: either the husband wants to completely humiliate and emotionally eviscerate her or he wants her dead but didn't want to outright ask for that. Either way, he's either a psychopath or sociopath. Normal human logic won't enter into it. The failure of the first attempt probably just made him angrier and more determined to "get" her.
28
@26
Violent stranger rape is so rare that any cop worth his salt would ask "why her?" after the first rape. The good cops I've known would immediately look at friends and associates to try and find some man who was planning this. Rapist very, very rarely target at random and when they do, it's almost always somewhere other than the victim's home (because it's an opportunity crime). This scenario should have sent up enough red flags to cover China.
As for his dumbfuckery, you'd be surprised at the number of men out there who will be willfully blind in these sorts of situations. At some level, the rapist knew it probably wasn't completely kosher. He just wanted it so badly he didn't care to verify. He probably figured he'd get away with it...and usually he'd have been right.
Violent stranger rape is so rare that any cop worth his salt would ask "why her?" after the first rape. The good cops I've known would immediately look at friends and associates to try and find some man who was planning this. Rapist very, very rarely target at random and when they do, it's almost always somewhere other than the victim's home (because it's an opportunity crime). This scenario should have sent up enough red flags to cover China.
As for his dumbfuckery, you'd be surprised at the number of men out there who will be willfully blind in these sorts of situations. At some level, the rapist knew it probably wasn't completely kosher. He just wanted it so badly he didn't care to verify. He probably figured he'd get away with it...and usually he'd have been right.
29
@28 Thank you for that. The public has this horrible misconception that a rapist is a scary man in the bushes with a ski mask. The truth is that it's more likely to be your male friend or your coworker or classmate. I guess it's easier to believe that it's a stranger, though, instead of admitting that your friend is capable of that.
On tv, they always show these crazy serial rapists who break into a lady's home to do these horrible things, but how often have you, personally, seen this? There have been some famous cases (like the Hillside Stranglers, etc.), but I think those were more about serial murder than rape necessarily. And again, probably exceedingly rare.
On tv, they always show these crazy serial rapists who break into a lady's home to do these horrible things, but how often have you, personally, seen this? There have been some famous cases (like the Hillside Stranglers, etc.), but I think those were more about serial murder than rape necessarily. And again, probably exceedingly rare.
30
@27, well, he's about the dumbest sociopath/psychopath I've ever heard of. Apparently it didn't occur to him that he's an obvious suspect and that the cops would search his email. He'd have been better off just bludgeoning her himself and claiming she had fucked around behind his back.
31
Erica,
Most people think sociopath/psychopath = smart. It doesn't always. In many cases even the smart ones really screw up bc they are never as smart as they think they are.
Besides, to quote an old Rumpole "All criminals you've heard of are dumb and usually ametauers" because the smart professional ones know how to NOT get caught
Most people think sociopath/psychopath = smart. It doesn't always. In many cases even the smart ones really screw up bc they are never as smart as they think they are.
Besides, to quote an old Rumpole "All criminals you've heard of are dumb and usually ametauers" because the smart professional ones know how to NOT get caught
32
@30: Also, if the would-be rapist had not been caught he wouldn't have had a reason to rat the husband out and the cops wouldn't have had any reason to check his e-mail.
33
The first rule of playing out a rape fantasy with someone you met online is to meet in person beforehand and get confirmation from the wannabe-victim that this is in fact what they want. Any "wannabe victim" who is unwilling to do this, whatever their excuse, is trying to get someone raped.
34
The name of the husband should be released, not the name of the attempting rapist. His face should be all over the news.
35
@32, at the end of the second rape, either the wife is alive and calling the cops, and they get suspicious that there were two rapes in two days... or else the wife is dead, and the cops always investigate the husband. There's no good ending for the husband here unless his goal was to go to jail.
37
I will note that there is at least one other Justin Matthew Crawford out there (a Michigan lawyer), and probably more, so a little caution in using this information is advisable.
38
@24: "@22 That makes no sense whatsoever. Could you elaborate, please?"
Sure
Every few days Dan posts a story called "Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father" or "Today in Traditional Marriage" in which he draws attention to some awful, unscrupulous heterosexual couple doing something wrong / something wrong to their child.
His heart is in the right place--marriage equality for everyone!--but these posts always reek of contempt for heterosexuals. It's barrier-building, it's us-versus-them framing. Even though I too am disgusted by these stories, I feel targeted and despised by that framing.
What if I ran a website and only posted stories about the terrible, wicked acts that gays have done?
How would you interpret my attitude towards them?
Sure
Every few days Dan posts a story called "Every Child Deserves a Mother and a Father" or "Today in Traditional Marriage" in which he draws attention to some awful, unscrupulous heterosexual couple doing something wrong / something wrong to their child.
His heart is in the right place--marriage equality for everyone!--but these posts always reek of contempt for heterosexuals. It's barrier-building, it's us-versus-them framing. Even though I too am disgusted by these stories, I feel targeted and despised by that framing.
What if I ran a website and only posted stories about the terrible, wicked acts that gays have done?
How would you interpret my attitude towards them?
39
@34 Dan's approach is brilliant for being able to have that effect on you. Because that guilt-by-association is there every time a news article mentions a member of a group, but only if that group is a minority.
Saying that "a white person commited a crime" does not generally equal "that group of white people on the corner probably includes a criminal and the others will cover for him", but the implication is there if it's black people. In fact, race (or orientation) is not generally even noted if the person's in the majority.
Saying that "a white person commited a crime" does not generally equal "that group of white people on the corner probably includes a criminal and the others will cover for him", but the implication is there if it's black people. In fact, race (or orientation) is not generally even noted if the person's in the majority.
41
@25 A good friend got me an aluminum t-ball bat for home security, as he knows I'm not into having a gun in the house. The shortened bat is better for swinging indoors- doesn't get deflected by the ceiling if you're trying to use it.
42
@41 My grandfather was in WWII. He used an officer's sword that he brought back from the Pacific.
43
Upon further reflection, it seems likely to me that anti-gay-marriage conservatives are less likely to read this story and say "Oh. I guess heterosexuals can have bad relationships" and more likely to say "This is what kinksterism brings!" and lump this criminal husband in with the "gays and other perverts."
45
Theory:
The husband wanted his wife out of the way. Knowing she had a gun, he tried to set her up for murder/manslaughter so she'd either get jailed or he could use "her violent act" as an excuse for divorce without alimony. In order to feel okay about getting someone killed he figured out a way to make it that the person breaking into their home was a rapist.
The husband wanted his wife out of the way. Knowing she had a gun, he tried to set her up for murder/manslaughter so she'd either get jailed or he could use "her violent act" as an excuse for divorce without alimony. In order to feel okay about getting someone killed he figured out a way to make it that the person breaking into their home was a rapist.
46
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47
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