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Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 1

Are you talking about the derelict with a shiv sleeping in the dumpster on the right?
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on August 17, 2012 at 10:51 AM · Report this
Eh, the vac is broken anyway; basically, just a somewhat more aesthetically positioned piece of refuse to go along with the rest...
Posted by COMTE on August 17, 2012 at 11:21 AM · Report this
CC-Rob 3
FYI: The old poster read, "Hang in there, baby."
Posted by CC-Rob on August 17, 2012 at 11:24 AM · Report this
Zebes 4
The congregation has gathered for the Sermon of Sucking.
Posted by Zebes on August 17, 2012 at 11:28 AM · Report this
"When life sucks, suck harder"
Posted by CbytheSea on August 17, 2012 at 11:36 AM · Report this
rob! 6
I have that same model of vacuum. Over time I've replaced the belt (3-4 times), brush roller, switch, and cord, and installed a retrofit top-fill bag kit. Total cost maybe $75. Go!

(Or you can go spend $450 at Costco on a Dyson Transformer Whatsis plastic molding technology tour-de-force. Good luck finding parts in 20 years, or in 5.)
Posted by rob! on August 17, 2012 at 11:39 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 7
Sermon on the Curb. "Blessed are the small, dry things, for they shall be vacuumed easily. Blessed are those things within a reasonable distance of an outlet, for theirs is the kingdom of accessibility."
Posted by MacCrocodile on August 17, 2012 at 11:42 AM · Report this
@6, mom had a Hoover like that, fine and dandy, until one day she got seduced by a Kirby salesman. Motherfucking 90-pound multi-attachment behemoth that roared like a lion. I delighted in the chrome and used to polish it. I polished the goddam vacuum. And I wondered why nobody in my famly even feigned surpise when I came out.
Posted by gloomy gus on August 17, 2012 at 11:53 AM · Report this
biffp 9
I want to see the, "Hang in There, Little Buddy" poster. That sounds like a line from BJ and the Bear.
Posted by biffp on August 17, 2012 at 11:54 AM · Report this
Fnarf 10
@8, "I polished the vacuum" -- is that some kind of filthy euphemism? Given me the vapors, it has.
Posted by Fnarf on August 17, 2012 at 12:14 PM · Report this
Cienna Madrid 11
@8, as a toddler I insisted my mother purchase me a two-foot-long, anatomically correct plastic bull in lieu of a doll. I vividly remember sitting on that bull and watching teevee for hours, or lying on the floor and stroking its shiny pink balls.

There's no real point to this story. My mom hated vacuuming. TGIF!
Posted by Cienna Madrid on August 17, 2012 at 12:29 PM · Report this
"Polishing the vacuum" was something the drill sergeant warned the recruits about in Starship Troopers.
Posted by LMcGuff on August 17, 2012 at 12:34 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 13
gross, and half that shit is recylable. you're not making me miss capitol hill.
Posted by Max Solomon on August 17, 2012 at 12:35 PM · Report this
@10, let me disenvapor you. 11-year-old me on a sunny afternoon perfect for playing outside, sitting cross legged on the kitchen linoleum surrounded by vacuum cleaner bits, Barry Manilow's live double album playing on the hi-fi so I could sing along while memorizing his every inflection (especially tricky, his medley of commercial jingles), a Windex-spritzed old t-shirt wrapped around my index finger so I could bring out the gleam in every crevice of the Kirby Classic III. Even now, mentioning the Kirby makes me want to run out and buy one online somewhere:…
Posted by gloomy gus on August 17, 2012 at 12:45 PM · Report this
rob! 15
@8, I may not be gay after all, various hoovering episodes notwithstanding.

And your mom! Blessings on her poor gray head, how could she be expected to withstand such tactics as these?!

Posted by rob! on August 17, 2012 at 12:47 PM · Report this
@15, holy fuck that is a grim link! And I didn't know they cost so much - my mom must've been in one of her manic-throw-money-at-everyone moods. Surprised she didn't buy one for day and another for evening.
Posted by gloomy gus on August 17, 2012 at 1:02 PM · Report this
This is a real-life scene from The Brave Little Toaster! You saw The Brave Little Toaster when you were a kid, didn't you?
Posted by senor chris on August 17, 2012 at 1:05 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 18
That's the kind of vacuum I use! They're wonderful - great suction and relatively quiet.

Whatever that vacuum's problem is, it can probably be fixed.
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on August 17, 2012 at 1:24 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 19
@6 you can buy a similar vac for $49 on sale at Macy's if you wait for one of their sales.
Posted by Will in Seattle on August 17, 2012 at 1:50 PM · Report this
@11, where in the heck did she find one?
Posted by Joe Glibmoron on August 17, 2012 at 2:13 PM · Report this
laterite 21
Oh, Catalina, I surely thought something like this would be more your style! But, can a girl ever truly have it all?
Posted by laterite on August 17, 2012 at 4:27 PM · Report this
rob! 22
@21, this is pretty cool. Originally conceived by the late industrial designer Henry Dreyfuss, it floats on a cushion of air! A hover-vac!
Posted by rob! on August 17, 2012 at 6:22 PM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 23
Rob!, I have - in addition to my wonderful Hoover upright - TWO Hoover Constellations: One new, as in your link, and one old. (I prefer the old, and have loaned the new one out to a dear neighbor who has hit some hard times)

I use the Constellation for hard surfaces, upholstery, and the stairs between the upper and lower levels of Chez Vel-DuRay
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on August 17, 2012 at 8:20 PM · Report this
rob! 24
The perfect companion to your Frigidaire Flair!
Posted by rob! on August 17, 2012 at 11:46 PM · Report this

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