Savage Love Podcast Comments
Savage Love Episode 306
1
Dan: the world needs more cuddles, I cuddle my friends, both male and female, regardless of orientation, in a very platonic way. We like cuddles, cuddles are good and positive and the world needs more of them, not less. The only reason that people stop cuddling after high school is because they are boring and have these weird notions about what it means to be "an adult" and "mature". It's unfortunate and sad that this girl got hurt, and he should have made it clear that the cuddling was just a friend thing, but friends do and should cuddle if they want to.
2
@1, this is not about cuddles at all. Cuddles between friends are very nice, and we shouldn't stop cuddling. (And for the record, none of MY friends stopped cuddling after high school.)
This is something else entirely. This asshole KNEW that this girl had feelings for him and he acted in a totally inappropriate way! I'm pro-cuddling and I still don't think it's OK to cuddle and kiss someone on the forehead when you know that person's into you and you know you're not into them. I want to tear this fucker a new one.
This is something else entirely. This asshole KNEW that this girl had feelings for him and he acted in a totally inappropriate way! I'm pro-cuddling and I still don't think it's OK to cuddle and kiss someone on the forehead when you know that person's into you and you know you're not into them. I want to tear this fucker a new one.
3
Dan, when you say "clitoral" in the creepy voice you sound just like Riff Raff. Now do the Time Warp again!
4
@2: I'm not saying this guy wasn't an asshole, but Dan specifically said that friends don't cuddle, that people above the age of high school should not engage in cuddling with people they are not attracted to in a romantic or sexual way. That's wrong. At least according to me. If Dan doesn't want to cuddle that's certainly his prerogative but he shouldn't impose his own discomfort on other people as a universal rule.
5
I note Mr Savage's shocking ignorance of Shirley Valentine - unless he thought the adjective to have a pronunciation different from that of the noun.
6
Either way of pronouncing "clitoris" or "clitoral" is correct; the stress can go on the first or second syllable. Prescriptionists like that guy are asshats; let him cringe. As for "vegan", I've only ever heard it with the 'e' sound as in "fee" used by vegans, and since it's an identity label, better to go with that change.
7
Also, those are all obviously British English pronunciations; they have little bearing on American English dialects at all.
8
WHOA, Dan outta left field.... Apparently cuddling is like some sort of sacred act for you. Bizarre how you view blowjobs, butt sex, hetero fucking etc as no biggie but *gasp* CUDDLING must only be practiced between life partners or some shit. You're revealing your own screwy issues here. Lots of people cuddle with friends, crushes, fuck buddies, etc. Seriously, Dan... are you ok? You might want to talk to somebody about this.
9
A better comparison (rather than Denny's) would be that coach who was raping student players, because of the whole mentoring role of priests.
I'm with Dan about the cuddling thing. Not Ok when you know that person is into you. They can't get away from you, it has to be you.
I'm with Dan about the cuddling thing. Not Ok when you know that person is into you. They can't get away from you, it has to be you.
11
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/72428603/Cached.…
Here is the cached version of the article from the "filling the hole" rant at the top of the podcast if anyone is interested. (The version that existed before the site took it down.)
Enjoy the mindfuck that starts at the bottom of page 4!
Here is the cached version of the article from the "filling the hole" rant at the top of the podcast if anyone is interested. (The version that existed before the site took it down.)
Enjoy the mindfuck that starts at the bottom of page 4!
12
People so cuddle past high school. Definitely not post college, shit I don't even hug people anymore.
13
Re: the evil priest:
1. kids do turn mentors into father figures.
2. and sometimes the kids get crushes and get flirty/seductive.
3. and at that point it's the job of the mentor to tell the kid that's a mistake and there's no way in the world they can have a sexual relationship and here's a new mentor.
1. kids do turn mentors into father figures.
2. and sometimes the kids get crushes and get flirty/seductive.
3. and at that point it's the job of the mentor to tell the kid that's a mistake and there's no way in the world they can have a sexual relationship and here's a new mentor.
15
Cuddle Boy and Cuddle Girl both have issues. I'm surprised no one has commented on this, but they had "awesome conversations" and they _wanted_ to cuddle. CB needs, perhaps, to be a little more open about who's girlfriend material. Awesome conversations and cuddling seem like a solid place to start, and obviously she didn't disgust him if he could spend hours talking to her. On the other hand, CB didn't know that she's been rejected nine times, but that tells me that CG is sending out some kind of hinky signals. Perhaps she assumes too much closeness too soon, for example. Dan's response to the GGG anal girl was a little strong, I thought. Sure, she needs to tell her BF all that stuff, but, sheesh, not even _ten percent?_, like Dan said? If it's that much of a chore, then she needs to rethink the whole idea.
16
While I agree that people can cuddle past high school... there are lots of things that you don't do with a person who likes you before you've made it clear that you don't like them back. Cuddling on a couch and having long conversations very often are two of them, as is kissing someone on the forehead. Hell, I've made out with friends, but I certainly haven't if I thought they had a crush on me. If he were completely blindsided by her feelings, then he might be in a defensible position and cautioned to be sure about these things before pursuing merely friendly affection, but he KNEW she liked him and yet he did things that would lead her on.
18
for anyone who enjoyed listening to the creeper of a talking dictionary robot, google translate has an equally disturbing female version. try typing in filthy song lyrics and translating from english to english. way more fun than it should be
19
To the woman whose fiancé ""threw her under the bus": it sounds to me as if you care what she thinks of you. Why? Sure, no one likes being called a stuck-up jealous bitch (and I hope your guy stuck up for you), but seriously, who cares what she thinks? And also, you know that statement was a ploy on her part, right? It says more about her than it does about you. Let it roll right off.
20
I think making fun of the woman who, as you said, "had sex," for her actions but who but was clearly tricked into doing more than she agreed to is a perhaps subtle victim blaming.
21
Say it however you want - but NEVER again make any reference to cutting one off. It made my ears too sad.
22
Dan, I just want to say my friend told me about you about a year ago and I've been an avid fan ever since. You sounded a bit beat up by the world and a little harrowed by the bull shit you have to deal with; but, I believe that you are doing real good in the world. Keep up the good job!
24
omg I have a list of Dan Savage quotes that I keep, and this just went to the TOP of my list as one of the best things Dan has ever said:
“Yeah, she got hurt. Because you CUDDLED the bitch.”
--Dan Savage
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...omg AMAZING.
omg and now! now I'm laughing at "CLITORAL" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Stop! omg best show i've ever heard....tears. There are tears rolling down my face.
“Yeah, she got hurt. Because you CUDDLED the bitch.”
--Dan Savage
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!...omg AMAZING.
omg and now! now I'm laughing at "CLITORAL" Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Stop! omg best show i've ever heard....tears. There are tears rolling down my face.
26
One of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life:
A poster in the subway (this is DC) that says, "this is what littoral dominance looks like" and someone had written a "c" in a perfect matching font to spell "clittoral." I know it was spelled wrong, but I always now and forever associate "littoral," or pertaining to ships, with "clitoral."
Hahahahha! Damn kids.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Littoral_co…
A poster in the subway (this is DC) that says, "this is what littoral dominance looks like" and someone had written a "c" in a perfect matching font to spell "clittoral." I know it was spelled wrong, but I always now and forever associate "littoral," or pertaining to ships, with "clitoral."
Hahahahha! Damn kids.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Littoral_co…
27
That clitoral thing was hysterical. Thanks for making me laugh out loud and look like a fool in public.
28
The social psychology researcher was fantastic. She did a great job of explaining her research in intelligent but accessible terms. And the subtle Canadian accent in "outlook" was awesome. "Unmitigated communion" is a good phrase, also as a former Catholic schoolgirl I think it is a little kinky :-)
29
Dan - in episode 202, you talked about toxic sex toys. did you have suggestions on what to do if you've used one. I put one in my mouth and a day or two later, my mouth was kinda burned. i never associated this with the toy. it's been 2 years and my mouth is still messed up. the docs say they've never seen anything like this.
30
Just one minor quibble regarding the guy who's obsessed with anal. Dan's advice was that the couple is sexually incompatible if he's one of those guys who wants to have anal every time. Agreed, no doubt about it. But then Dan went on to say "or even half the time... or a quarter of the time... or ten percent of the time..." Really? One time in ten is too much for this guy to ask for his favorite thing?
31
I am a 51 year old female in a heterosexual monogamish relationship. Not only do I have friends (all along the gay/straight continuum and all along the male/female continuum) with whom I share non-sexual cuddle time, but sometimes we have cuddle dates. When someone is in need of physical affection and his/her partner is not available we schedule time to get our touch needs met with each other.
The book "Touching" by Ashley Montague cites numerous studies about the need for us humans to receive touch. Living in a society in which touch is so often sexualized or comes to us in the form of violence, non-sexual touching is not just "nice" it is necessary for surviving and yes, thriving. As we increase our dependence on technology and find more ways to go about our daily routines separate from each other, it is no wonder that massage therapy has had such a boom - we PAY people to touch us.
I also want to bring to your attention a wonderful creation of Reid Mihalko & Marcia Baczynski www.cuddleparty.com which does appear to have a presence in Seattle.
The book "Touching" by Ashley Montague cites numerous studies about the need for us humans to receive touch. Living in a society in which touch is so often sexualized or comes to us in the form of violence, non-sexual touching is not just "nice" it is necessary for surviving and yes, thriving. As we increase our dependence on technology and find more ways to go about our daily routines separate from each other, it is no wonder that massage therapy has had such a boom - we PAY people to touch us.
I also want to bring to your attention a wonderful creation of Reid Mihalko & Marcia Baczynski www.cuddleparty.com which does appear to have a presence in Seattle.
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