Slog Comments
SL Letter of the Day: What. An. Asshole.
2
Gee, he only tried to ruin your young life with a baby. He's lucky you didn't punch him in the nuts.
3
That's some solid awesomeness for a 17 year old. I don't think she is going have much problem in the not dating a douchebag part of life.
8
To the LW -- You done good. Hopefully you'll be able to recognize people like him early, though sometimes it's hard to distinguish studs from jackasses.
To the next potential victim of this d-bag. I'd suggest applying a little superglue to the base of his penis as foreplay before rolling the condom on.
To the next potential victim of this d-bag. I'd suggest applying a little superglue to the base of his penis as foreplay before rolling the condom on.
12
@9, that's a dumb generalization. Obviously, she's a smart and confident 17-year-old girl, who is probably closer to 18 than 17, anyway. Factor in the fact that her 21 year old ex was immature as fuck, and the pairing sounds about right. Except for the violation of her trust and consent, of course.
13
What @11 said.
And what happened to, "I will be back October 1st, when the book is finished"? I'm disappointed, although I have to admit it makes me feel pretty damn good that even someone as prolific as Dan doesn't always meet his writing goals. (Not because I wish him ill, but because I think it will help me remember to not be so hard on myself for failing to meet my own.)
And what happened to, "I will be back October 1st, when the book is finished"? I'm disappointed, although I have to admit it makes me feel pretty damn good that even someone as prolific as Dan doesn't always meet his writing goals. (Not because I wish him ill, but because I think it will help me remember to not be so hard on myself for failing to meet my own.)
15
@12: I'd be pretty skeptical of a 21-year-old dating a 17-year-old. Normally, my stance on college-aged kids dating high schoolers is that if they met in high school and dated then and have merely stayed together into college, that's fine; college kids after high schoolers are highly suspect. A 21-year-old guy wouldn't have been in high school at the same time as a 17-year-old, so that's not what happened there, so what the hell is up with a 21-year-old guy who wants a high school girl? It seems creepy.
16
@15: Actually, that's not necessarily true, although it doesn't sound like that's what happened here. There could potentially be a four-year gap between a high-school freshman and a high-school senior. Otherwise, I think what you wrote is a pretty good metric for deciding when it is (or is not) suspect for a 21-year-old to be dating a 17-year-old.
17
@9: "21 is too old for 17. Someone needs to kick some parental ass."
Were you born fully hatched at 40?
Were you born fully hatched at 40?
18
You should be really damn pissed. Good for you, not taking that kind of bullshit. You're my hero.
20
No no no, not staples! That'll put holes in the condom. Obviously you should use hot-glue to make sure it stays in place, sheesh.
22
Tell him you turned up pregnant, and your parents' lawyer will be contacting him about initiating child support. Let him sweat for about four months.
24
@15 and 16
It's also possible she's already in college and they met there--either because she's a fall birthday who started early or because she skipped senior year of high school. Neither situation is that uncommon; my freshman class had two 16-year-olds in it.
It's also possible she's already in college and they met there--either because she's a fall birthday who started early or because she skipped senior year of high school. Neither situation is that uncommon; my freshman class had two 16-year-olds in it.
25
Not every 17 y.o. Is in high school. I was done w/ US high school, in a foreign country where 16 was for most things legally adult, studying and working part-time when I was 17. Some of the guys I fucked were a helluva lot older than 21, let alone 17. All depends on the context of where you meet and what stage you are in your life. If a professor had been dating me, that would have been weird and inappropriate, but, that similar-aged 1st mate from a fishing boat who I took home for a weekend? Nah, totally appropriate. And fun.
Now, the LW rocked. But, from experience I can aver that rocking that situation -- great as she was -- does not guarantee always kicking the creeps to the curb. Sometimes we're in a bad place emotionally and get manipulated and confused, removed a bit from our instincts. Got to watch your back, so to speak. And not everyone is like this wacko.
Now, the LW rocked. But, from experience I can aver that rocking that situation -- great as she was -- does not guarantee always kicking the creeps to the curb. Sometimes we're in a bad place emotionally and get manipulated and confused, removed a bit from our instincts. Got to watch your back, so to speak. And not everyone is like this wacko.
26
What delights me about this? That the man cried. I hope it was in public.
As for Mr. Savage, the "desperately trying to get out" is amazing. That's why I read this column, the perfect mix of sensible and hilarious.
As for Mr. Savage, the "desperately trying to get out" is amazing. That's why I read this column, the perfect mix of sensible and hilarious.
27
Am I the only one with any sympathy for the douche bag? I have been married most of my adult life, and only recently ventured back out into the sexual fray. I HATE condoms! I can't feel a thing. I have had urges to rip the condom right off the guy's dick. But I didn't.
People can do things in a sexual frenzy that they wouldn't ordinarily do.
People can do things in a sexual frenzy that they wouldn't ordinarily do.
28
Oh yes, people can do any kind of crazy things in sexual frenzy. Like... uh.. strangling their partners. Frenzy does not make it less of a murder.
29
There's an arbitrary nature to any age-of-consent law.
While 18 has become the magic number in most peoples' minds (I think the disclaimers regarding the age of the performers on legal porn is part of the reason), the reality is that in many jurisdictions, including many of the United States, there are other ages. 16 is quite common for example, and I personally think that makes more sense than 18, especially with an exclusion when power relationships are involved (so a Coach, Teacher or Employer cannot legally fuck a 16 or 17 year-old over whom they have authority/power, but someone without such a power relationship can).
The dude in this letter is an asshole, but it isn't because of the age gap, in my opinion.
While 18 has become the magic number in most peoples' minds (I think the disclaimers regarding the age of the performers on legal porn is part of the reason), the reality is that in many jurisdictions, including many of the United States, there are other ages. 16 is quite common for example, and I personally think that makes more sense than 18, especially with an exclusion when power relationships are involved (so a Coach, Teacher or Employer cannot legally fuck a 16 or 17 year-old over whom they have authority/power, but someone without such a power relationship can).
The dude in this letter is an asshole, but it isn't because of the age gap, in my opinion.
30
@27 No. No one has any sympathy for this rapist, mtpsub. I have sympathy for the girl who didn't consent to that kind of sex, and almost got an STI/impregnated at 17 by a dickwad on her first time. No fucking sympathy.
31
I feel like an asshole now... I was my girlfriend's first and we used condoms for a few weeks. A combination of medications and the condoms were making it a little difficult to orgasm at times. She asked me about it and I told her that it was the combination. Since she wanted to feel that she was pleasing me to her full potential we subsequently we did not use condoms for a little while....Now she is on birth control and we don't use them anymore. But I still feel like a piece of shit as I should have reassured her that she was pleasing me and that the condom was for our safety....
32
@9 i was 15 when i started dating my 21 years old boyfriend. i even can't believe myself at the moment.. but i remember checking the legal age of consent just in case back then. it was 14.
so that's 10 years of being sexually active with other people. hm.
as for ass-holes i also had one of those once: as we were getting hot and heavy and we didn't have any condoms or anything so he proudly declared that there would be no penis-in-vagina sex. but after some other activities he started to stick his penis in me and i was all: what the fuck are you doing? no wait, i know what you are doing so you can stop now and fuck off.
so that's 10 years of being sexually active with other people. hm.
as for ass-holes i also had one of those once: as we were getting hot and heavy and we didn't have any condoms or anything so he proudly declared that there would be no penis-in-vagina sex. but after some other activities he started to stick his penis in me and i was all: what the fuck are you doing? no wait, i know what you are doing so you can stop now and fuck off.
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