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NotSean 1
Cleveland Rock-eth.
Posted by NotSean on October 21, 2012 at 7:23 AM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 2
And thy son Taggart owneth the means of votereth production in thine Ohio!
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on October 21, 2012 at 7:38 AM · Report this
Catalina Vel-DuRay 3
Speaking of Mormons, if this film is accurate, temple services seem to be a mix of Masonic rituals and jazzercize, narrated by that guy from the airport who used to tell you what the current threat level is.

And those outfits are gay, gay, gay! Not flamboyant, like the gowns of the papacy. More along the lines of the Pet Shop Boys in the 90's
Posted by Catalina Vel-DuRay on October 21, 2012 at 7:54 AM · Report this
And thou shalt run a bank scam on thy followers, who shall fall for it like the rest of thy bullshit.…
Posted by Sir Vic on October 21, 2012 at 8:18 AM · Report this
dnt trust me 5
If you're disappointed with the gay outfits of Mormons and The Pet Shop boys, tune into MTV's "It Gets Better." Sure it's just like any reality show, where the participants are in love with themselves being on camera, but on IGB they wear contemporary with-it gay clothing. AND the show has a message, along the the lines of "Biggest Loser" - you can do it! Life can be wonderful!
Posted by dnt trust me on October 21, 2012 at 8:25 AM · Report this
Right now, I fear a long, long Election Night as we wait for Ohio, the last key state to be decided, to finally get called. That's assuming Romney gets Florida and Virginia and maybe New Hampshire and Colorado, which might happen. Here's hoping early voting is going well in Iowa and this apparently Mormon-centric state.
Posted by floater on October 21, 2012 at 8:38 AM · Report this
bedipped 7
This ended up quoted in a Supreme Court case about the denial of voting rights to "particeps criminis"

(July 22, 1889.)

Criminal Organization.—Orders, organizations, associations, or by whatever name called, which teach, advise, counsel, encourage, or practice the commission of crimes forbidden by law, are criminal organizations.
Overt Acts Of Members.—To become and continue to be members of such organizations are such overt acts of recognition and participation as make them particeps criminis, and as guilty in contemplation of law as though they actively engaged in promoting their unlawful objects and purposes.
Organization Of Territory—Power Conferred.—The organic act confers concurrent power upon the territorial assembly of Idaho, to prescribe the qualifications and disabilities of voters of the territory, and to provide a mode by which those qualifications may be ascertained. <610

This sounds about right:
What motives and purposes do these so-called "revelations" disclose? Do they not point directly at results which this organization has since done much to attain? Are they not calculated to cause distrust and hatred of all who are not of this so-called church? They are of the essence of this so-called church, though those we have copied constitute but a small part of such teachings, and do not touch their plan of organization, polity, and system of government. Yet these may be sufficient to show the temporal features and nature of this "Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints," with some of its aims and purposes; and help, with other like teachings, to explain the phenomenon of its history. Those parts we have copied are mixed with much matter apparently merely fustian and meaningless, and not apparently explanatory of the general purpose, as indicated by the extracts. These do not touch the extraordinary teachings of polygamy, or plural or celestial marriage; yet those are also included in the blessings of liberty and the pursuit of happiness. We are not at liberty to say these extracts have no meaning, nor that their true meaning and signification are not indicated by the language used. They speak of other people as "enemies," and evidently imply that their presence, their laws and institutions are to be looked upon as a "curse upon the land," which the church aspires to dominate; that in such land there is to be no government or laws, except those alone of the church—evidently the germ of that state of chronic warfare which that "church" has ever, and still does, maintain against all government save that of the church; that even the members of the "church" are not their own masters. Their individuality as freemen and citizens is denied them. Their rights of choice and of action as freemen are merged in the church. Internecine wars are welcomed as a means by which the "gentiles are to be exterminated."
Posted by bedipped on October 21, 2012 at 8:49 AM · Report this
Lurleen 8
Does the writer refer to the river, the state or the Native American tribes?
Posted by Lurleen on October 21, 2012 at 9:05 AM · Report this
@3 awesome video! looks like pledge week at BYU!
Posted by Cassette tape fan on October 21, 2012 at 9:11 AM · Report this
Posted by bedipped on October 21, 2012 at 9:11 AM · Report this
Thanks Catalina! Too funny - the matter part looks just like the 80's version of Battlestar Galactica!
This explains Mitten's attitude. He already thinks he is a king. This also explains why the LDS faithful - at least in Utah - are so sheeplike, without the ability to think critically.

As for masons -…"> this was interesting.
Posted by StuckInUtah on October 21, 2012 at 9:43 AM · Report this
zombie eyes 12
These Doctrine and Covenants quotes are remarkably reminiscent of Johnnie Carson's Magnificent Carnac routines.
Posted by zombie eyes on October 21, 2012 at 9:49 AM · Report this
It's OK. A guy who was a heavy Bush supporter owned the company that built the extraordinarily secure machines used in Ohio in 2004. What with copious places to vote and short lines in Democratic districts and vote tabulation above reproach, Kerry won in a squeaker.

Oh dear.

Posted by david on October 21, 2012 at 9:58 AM · Report this
The 1980 Battlestar Galactica was, at least at first, a very Mormon inspired affair.

Posted by david on October 21, 2012 at 10:03 AM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 15
The Mormons had no law until they got to Ohio? I bet they were a rowdy bunch.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on October 21, 2012 at 10:04 AM · Report this
attitude devant 16
Do the Temples actually use these scriptures in the same way the Gospels are used in Christian churches, as texts for sermons, etc?
Posted by attitude devant on October 21, 2012 at 10:11 AM · Report this
long-time reader 17
I didn't realize that Ohio was among the ranks of place-names that require use of a definite article, like The Ukraine.
Posted by long-time reader on October 21, 2012 at 10:55 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 18
The Ohio State University
Posted by Urgutha Forka on October 21, 2012 at 11:30 AM · Report this
It's just "Ukraine".
Posted by paulus on October 21, 2012 at 11:38 AM · Report this
Karlheinz Arschbomber 20
He made a slight geographic mistake. It was not Ohio from which power would be bestowed; it was Old Milwaukee.
Posted by Karlheinz Arschbomber on October 21, 2012 at 12:10 PM · Report this
Fnarf 21
This was known as The Book of Diebold before the rebranding.
Posted by Fnarf on October 21, 2012 at 12:26 PM · Report this
seandr 23
Is this really the kind of shit one finds in the Mormon bible?
Posted by seandr on October 21, 2012 at 8:52 PM · Report this
@23-Yes. It's ludicrous, transparent hucksterism.
Posted by HOT PUSSY on October 21, 2012 at 9:49 PM · Report this
Ohio is where Joseph Smith learned about Christian Socialism and having everything in common. Mormons kept trying to work this out economically until Ezra Taft Benson brought the idea of organized selfishness, aka libertarianism/John Birchism in the 20th century. Utah is no longer the beehive state.
Posted by Why are there cars? on October 22, 2012 at 7:22 AM · Report this
@8 -- I'm pretty sure it's talking about the Ohio River, and the "power" is just another misguided hydropower development.

In brief, "go to Ohio and be dammed".
Posted by RonK, Seattle on October 22, 2012 at 11:34 AM · Report this
Dougsf 27
What's the language going for here—it isn't the language of the time, probably any time—is he trying to match the King James?
Posted by Dougsf on October 22, 2012 at 12:58 PM · Report this

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