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152
thank you from texas only if they could do this here dreaming can be a reality. Thank you WA to make everything OK!
Posted by nyssa on November 21, 2012 at 12:59 PM · Report this
151
A long time ago a lesbian friend of mine asked me to be seat filler sitting under a "Gay alumni" banner at a football game for my old high school. I was pretty nervous about doing it but it gave me a better appreciation for what gay people have to go through just being themselves.

It's kind of embarrassing to be a straight white male sometimes. What's up with us anyway? All voting for Romney and crap, what's that about?
Posted by Gringle on November 13, 2012 at 8:15 PM · Report this
150
I get to come up from California (and seriously California what the hell is wrong with us) and help my gay friends get married. That's all the thanks I need. (I don't live there but I donated funds)
Posted by djstephaniebell on November 12, 2012 at 4:45 PM · Report this
149
As a straight ally, you're welcome. It's no skin off my back if you get married. One point I'd like to make: it's almost as joyful seeing backwards NOM-types wailing in sorrow as it is seeing LGBT celebrating their rights. So, I hope you keep winning so I can experience more joy of seeing them crying. I hope this doesn't make me a bad person ;-)
Posted by Str8 on November 11, 2012 at 3:38 PM · Report this
148
Dan I agree completely.

I did 3 phone banks and was blown away by how many straight allies took their time to make these calls. And they were able to engage in great conversations and get more persuasions than some of us. I got a little choked up at times listening to them talk about why it was important to them, how it is fair and usually a personal story about a friend, coworker or relative that is LGBT and how much it would mean.

Huge huge thank you to our straight allies. They gave time, money and likely converted many of their family and friends into a yes vote.

Party? Sure. sincere thank you? Daily.
Posted by JDballard on November 10, 2012 at 3:26 PM · Report this
147
There IS no "us" and "them." I think that is what this vote is showing. Straight or queer, we are all related in some way. We are all family. I may be straight, but my mom is queer, my sister is queer, my cousin is queer. Celebrities are. Leaders are. And we are all the same. We all love, we all cry, and we all want the best for one another. Finally.
Posted by HelloTygerlily on November 10, 2012 at 2:55 PM · Report this
scary tyler moore 146
think of me when you need a wedding officiant. vows tailored to your taste, no wedding too big or too small. singing, ten bucks an hour, not singing, twenty bucks an hour.
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on November 10, 2012 at 1:22 PM · Report this
145
You're welcome. But the real thanks, at least for my support, goes to Mayor Gavin Newsom. I was originally skeptical of the need for the legalization of gay marriage. Then Newsom legalized gay marriage. Suddenly the newspapers were filled with pictures of dozens of happy gay and lesbian couples tying the knot at San Francisco City Hall -- where, incidentally, my own parents were married five decades ago. I realized that gays and lesbians were just as entitled to the right to marry as my parents were, as well as me and my wife.

So I proudly voted for gay marriage in Maryland on Tuesday. Best vote I ever cast.
Posted by mng123 on November 10, 2012 at 1:10 PM · Report this
144
Dan,
I don't want a party. I supported marriage equality because it is part of a long march toward total equality.

In that spirit, you know what I would LOVE in return? Take all of the energy, wit, and in-your-face intolerance of bullshit that you put towards Rick Santorum and bullying of gay kids, and direct it towards Daniel Tosh, Tucker Max, and others sexist neanderthals. Hompobia and sexism are two sides of the same coin, and we've got a lot more to do before equality is realized for everyone.

One good turn deserves another. You couldn't do it without us and we can't do it without you. Show your gratitide by getting angry at the fuckwads that hold women down.
Posted by Susie N. on November 10, 2012 at 11:15 AM · Report this
143
What about, maybe, on a Sunday in June? Have a parade and invite str8 folks to come, and really focus the parade this year on gratitude for the help they've given - lobbying, voting, donating, phone-banking, canvasing, maybe even occasionally intimidating - to get this thing done. Actually change the message of the parade from the slightly tired and self-indulgent "Pride" to "Thanks!" The theme song could be, "I get by with a little help from my friends."
Posted by MartinInDC on November 10, 2012 at 5:05 AM · Report this
142
Thank you, Governor Jay Inslee, for this post in Huffington Post, January 2012. You made the case to the hearts of married straight couples:

My wife Trudi and I have been married for 39 years. We started dating in high school, married after college, and raised our three boys in a 100-year-old farmhouse in a small rural town in eastern Washington.

We opened a checking account together. We bought our house together. We never had to think twice about which box to check on forms asking for our marital status. We never had to think about how we introduce one another to others. We never had to deal with questioning glances when joining our children for school field trips, parent-teacher conferences, dental appointments, and the occasional emergency room visit (known to happen when you raise three boys on a farm).

We have had the privilege of being able to say the powerful yet simple statement that "we are married" and receiving all the rights, responsibilities, and recognition that come with being married.

We never lived in fear that our relationship would cause loved ones to shun us, strangers to glare at us, or, as happens too often, predators to bully, harm, or even kill us.

No one deserves that.

Here in Washington state, we are standing on the edge of history. A marriage equality bill is poised for passage in our state legislature that would legalize civil marriage.

Posted by Maryinbelltown on November 10, 2012 at 4:33 AM · Report this
141
This is going to sound marginalizing and perhaps even hateful but I don't want it to be as such. At all.

I am so happy that this passed, I voted for it, and the homosexual community deserves to feel equals and I want them to be and I hope they do. In all and every way.

But why does a vote matter. It just affirms that 52% of people have no issue with your lifestyle but 48% apparently have a big one. Why is this a big deal? Sorry if this seems offensive to you. Seems sad to me. More people voted to legalize pot.
Posted by PanWhale on November 10, 2012 at 12:06 AM · Report this
140
Ok, so I'm a 49 yr old straight woman in Alabama... but I would have TOTALLY been there with you. I can honestly say that for decades some of my best friends are GLBTQ folks and they've been there for me on so many issues and legislative fights.

As Progressives, we all have many of the same forces working in opposition to us. It's just common sense - not to mention common decency and compassion - that binds us together.

We had really sucky results in Alabama with TEA Party crazies nabbing many seats, but the wonderful results from other states and the presidential election itself continues to give me hope for the future.

MAZEL TOV, y'all!!!!
Posted by countrycat on November 9, 2012 at 6:58 PM · Report this
139
Why, some of my best friends are straight.
Posted by DickSmalley on November 9, 2012 at 1:09 PM · Report this
138
If we allowed you to be mistreated, we would all be diminished, so we were fighting for all of us. No "Thank You Party" is needed... but if everyone decided it was a good idea anyway, might there be cupcakes?
Posted by Robert Kuhn on November 9, 2012 at 12:43 PM · Report this
137
The "us" and "them" here isn't "gay" and "straight" - it's "right" and "wrong". Happy that we are all on the right team, even if we play for different ones!
Posted by amyboyce on November 9, 2012 at 11:03 AM · Report this
136
For me it was simple- how could I ever have any moral authority to tell my kids what to do if I didn't work for the most fundamental moral issue of our time? After someone stole my "Vote No" sign (I'm from MN), it suddenly occurred to me how horrible and dehumanizing it must feel to realize that people were going to vote on whether you get your basic rights. Thank YOU to the GLBT community for being patient while we got our heads out of our asses.
Posted by MarkinMN on November 9, 2012 at 6:03 AM · Report this
135
Ooh, I LOVE the idea of having a "Gay Wingman Night."
Posted by ssg on November 9, 2012 at 5:33 AM · Report this
134
You're welcome. But really, it is easy for us. Gay rights are a no-brainer issue for anyone of sense, and straight people speaking about it catch comparatively little flak. (Most of) you folks did the bravest and most important thing for your own cause--you came out.
Posted by Faradn on November 9, 2012 at 12:10 AM · Report this
133
It never occurred to me that we straight people were fighting for a cause that wasn't ours. Justice is for everyone.
Posted by TheOtherWoman on November 8, 2012 at 9:04 PM · Report this
ratatosk 132
Hey, FWIW, I've been throwing my body into serving the gay agenda since I used to do actions with ACT-UP and QUEER NATION back in the day. FWIW, it's only partially for you. I believe that gay rights are human rights not recognizing them diminishes us all. But I also wholeheartedly support gay marriage for the very selfish reason that I HATE the patriarchy with all my heart and I know marriage has been its handmaiden for lo these many millennium. And I have faith, or at least hope, that extending marriage to same sex couples is gonna be a serious blow to that heritage continuing. That really crystalized to me once upon a time, in the Washington State Supreme Court courtroom, listening to the pro-DOMA lawyers blithely defending straight marriage as the only marriage. And somehow, a good thing, despite its brutal heritage. So. I’d love a party, but I didn’t give blood and treasure just for you. I did it because I want the future to be better for us girls.
Posted by ratatosk on November 8, 2012 at 8:32 PM · Report this
131
Our straight daughter had to provide their wedding certificate to prove she was next of kin when her husband was at deaths door - he fought back. Two months later she was told to say goodby to her husband before his airlift to Seattle as he was not expected to live. Again, thankfully, he fought back. Our daughter had control over her loved one's medical care; she could say "goodbye!" There are lots of reasons for equality of marriage - being with and able to support your loved one during a crisis is just one poignant reason.

Married 40 years, our blessing should be available to all couples.
Posted by Terry Graham on November 8, 2012 at 5:16 PM · Report this
130
Dan, I'll go to any party you throw, but it's absolutely not necessary. As a hetero woman passionate about equal rights, seeing R-74 pass was reward enough!
Posted by Marone on November 8, 2012 at 3:52 PM · Report this
129
Thank you Dan, for being willing to fight for all of us, and for all of the difficulty, heartache, and pure guts you have shown in helping young gay youth everywhere Living in a red state (although it was blue in 2008) makes your efforts and work more important to us than to many who live in a more accepting society. THanks to efforts by you and the rest of the gay stormtroopers, gay people everywhere live a little better.
Craig Fox
Posted by cfox on November 8, 2012 at 3:41 PM · Report this
128
Thank you for this, Dan. I am in MN and I'm proud of our step in the right direction. As I posted on FB, no gay person has ever rejected or excluded me on the basis of being straight. In fact, the gay community has always given me the warmest of welcomes and accepted my whole flawed self. Gay rights are human rights and this election made us ALL a bit more human.
Posted by Loriiii on November 8, 2012 at 3:10 PM · Report this
127
Please just don't make fun of me for being straight. Enjoy the marriages!
Posted by Alec on November 8, 2012 at 3:08 PM · Report this
126
No need for thanks, but you are very welcome. Now on to other states and finally the federal government. My brother (RIP) would be amazed at how far same-sex rights have come in just the years since his death (1998). Equal rights for all!
Posted by SherBee on November 8, 2012 at 2:56 PM · Report this
125
Does this mean you and Terry are going to break out those classic wedding bands you bought a few years back? Because a photo of the two of you with those bands would be payment enought for me.
Posted by TamarinaDC on November 8, 2012 at 2:54 PM · Report this
124
I can finally be the flower girl at my dads' wedding! I'm way too old but it's about time! THANK YOU ALL!
Posted by brittsteff on November 8, 2012 at 2:43 PM · Report this
123
As a straight girl with 2 gay dads, I need to say thank you! My dads are getting married and I'm going to be co-staring in the wedding an age inappropriate flower girl!
Posted by brittsteff on November 8, 2012 at 2:41 PM · Report this
122
No need to thank, but you simply must throw a party! :-D
Posted by TinainItaly on November 8, 2012 at 2:19 PM · Report this
121
A truly heartfealt, teary-eyed, BIG A$$ THANK YOU to all the allies out there across this grand nation!
Posted by cmartini on November 8, 2012 at 1:53 PM · Report this
brandon 120
I propose a state wide Blow-A-Straight-Guy day. Claim your reward gentlemen.
Posted by brandon on November 8, 2012 at 1:39 PM · Report this
119
I'd also like to thank them and all the corporations in Washington that verbally and financially supported marriage equality.

I hope that if I were straight that I'd also be an LGBT ally.
Posted by David in Houston on November 8, 2012 at 12:45 PM · Report this
118
... We 1st. learned this from PFLAG & then via our other STR8 allies, friends, families-&-extended families! Not forgetting those, who are OUT-or-CAME OUT!!! THANK-YOU-ALL!!!
Posted by hanfrina on November 8, 2012 at 12:42 PM · Report this
117
... PFLAG was our 1st. lesson learned about our many STR8 allies as-well-as friends, families-&-extended families! & of course by-THOSE-who were OUT-or-CAME OUT! Thank-YOU-all!!!
Posted by hanfrina on November 8, 2012 at 12:36 PM · Report this
BEG 116
You're inviting us all to your wedding, right?
Posted by BEG http://twitter.com/#!/browneyedgirl65 on November 8, 2012 at 12:33 PM · Report this
115
I'm just so happy I could pee my pants, I want a big gay party with thanks to EVERYONE who voted for fairness. I feel bad this took so long, we owe you homos big smootches for making the world a kinder place. For a minority you sure made a HUGE impact.

And we have an awesome black president still! I really never thought the day would come when I could be so proud to live here.
Posted by Lisa808 on November 8, 2012 at 12:29 PM · Report this
114
I used to get teased in high school for standing up to the LGBTs and didn't care. It's not about "Straights" vs "Gays"- it's about Humanity vs. Assholery. Looks like Humanity is making some big wins!!!
Posted by waxyjax on November 8, 2012 at 12:19 PM · Report this
113
It is nice to be able to make a prominent new entry on the list of those who gave substantial help to a just cause that wouldn't directly provide them with firsthand personal benefits. Perhaps the Thing to Do is to work on expanding the list in new and existing ways.
Posted by vennominon on November 8, 2012 at 11:00 AM · Report this
112
We don't need to be thanked for doing the right thing. But I'm all in favor of throwing a party to show the anti-LGBTQ folks how much better life is here on the side of the angels. ;-)
Posted by Delafina on November 8, 2012 at 10:50 AM · Report this
111
#47 Mary Margaret Haugen lost her seat due to transportation issues. It had nothing to do with her support of same sex marriage.
I don't need a party. It was an honor to vote for 74!
Posted by Yayyy! on November 8, 2012 at 10:32 AM · Report this
geoz 110
I like the party idea, but I would reframe it from "thank you" to "we did it together". This is how I feel anyhow. Thanks aren't the thing - victory is the thing. And... we can do it together again and again... that's right.
Posted by geoz on November 8, 2012 at 10:10 AM · Report this
109
While LGTB rights have moved forwards, womens rights have moved backwards. Thank us by fighting to bring back abortions, I say.
Posted by Moonmaid on November 8, 2012 at 10:09 AM · Report this
108
I love hearing all you straight guys pushing for equal rights. You make your gay bro's very proud. And kudos to you straight ladies too; you've had our backs before it was cool for straight guys to stand behind us.
Posted by The fag on November 8, 2012 at 9:14 AM · Report this
107
No thanks needed. Just this:
Please pay it forward. In a few years (after the 41 states) there will be another issue involving civil rights and/or liberty. Let's get that one right sooner.
Posted by GiantPanda on November 8, 2012 at 8:31 AM · Report this
106
@12 - I'm in favor of a National Gay Wing Man night. I can think of no better reward then getting me laid.
Posted by Bojac6 on November 8, 2012 at 8:05 AM · Report this
Alanmt 105
Thank you!

party time!!!!!!!!!

@99 hahahahahaha! Me too, man, me too.
Posted by Alanmt on November 8, 2012 at 7:44 AM · Report this
katrat 104
FREE MAKEOVERS! FREE MAKEOVERS!

I completely agree that none of us straights expect anything in return, and it is crass to even think of it. HOWEVER, why pass up a genuine opportunity for a party, a lovely punctuation to days of trickle in results? Plus, I really do want a free make-over from a skilled drag queen. I am terrible at doing my own make-up and could use some tips.
Posted by katrat http://www.kathrynrathke.com/ on November 8, 2012 at 7:41 AM · Report this
103
I don't live in any of the states that made same-sex marriage legal. Really wish I did. You guys are on a powerfully forward path, and I'm moved by your unity and perserverance.

To all my friends in states that put equality for same-sex couples in the law books, you rock! You get it.
Posted by The fag on November 8, 2012 at 6:23 AM · Report this
102
Proof that the bullies will never win. Gay, straight, any minority; if someone is being denied a basic right, then everyone is brought down together. So we stand together to fight and win!
Posted by Cherry on November 8, 2012 at 5:27 AM · Report this
Aurora Erratic 101
What @97 & 98, Sara Long said. No thanks necessary.
That said, we know you'll be there for us on reproductive rights. It's all good.
With love from Maine. (Where I am totally planning to take economic advantage of the pent-up demand for wedding gifts.)
Posted by Aurora Erratic http://www.finemesspottery.com on November 8, 2012 at 3:40 AM · Report this
100
What a deserving thread to be the first to crack a hundred comments since ages ago.
Posted by gloomy gus on November 8, 2012 at 12:54 AM · Report this
99
It ain't no thing, Dan. Happy to help.

Today is a happy sandwich with schadenfreude sauce. I try not to rejoice in the suffering of others but I gonna make a giant exception for Maggie Gallagher today.
Posted by johnzo on November 8, 2012 at 12:06 AM · Report this
Sara Long 98
I posted this elsewhere when I spread the link around:

As a straight ally, I know it is NOT about me. I know that it is my job to listen, learn, and understand gender/orientation minorities' narratives, listen to what they need, and help them accomplish the goals they share. However I was awfully pleased to read this and it makes me feel proud to have been part of this movement.
Posted by Sara Long on November 7, 2012 at 11:52 PM · Report this
Sara Long 97
I echo the other straight allies who are embarrassed at both the suggestion that we deserve something special and that our country is still so backwards on gay rights. I did what I could and wish desperately I could've done more. I knew I couldn't live with myself if we failed and I hadn't done everything I could possibly justify getting out and doing these past six months.
Posted by Sara Long on November 7, 2012 at 11:49 PM · Report this
96
It ain't no thing, Dan. Happy to help.

Today is a happy sandwich with schadenfreude sauce. I try not to rejoice in the suffering of others but I gonna make a giant exception for Maggie Gallagher today.
Posted by johnzo on November 7, 2012 at 11:33 PM · Report this
95
Seeing 4 of 4 victories was enough for me! And I am still on board to help with the next step. It feels so great to finally have won at the polls!!!
Posted by wattsup70 on November 7, 2012 at 10:47 PM · Report this
Y 94
@85 is right. I can't remember how many times I, a generally straight guy, have been called a faggot by shitheads. It's become one of those things where even though we might not specifically play for the same team, we play for the same team. If nothing else, we're all anti-shithead.

Though I have long-held issues with voting, I voted for the first time in my life this election, largely because I'm from Wisconsin and Scott Walker went on his rampage against the teachers' union my mom is part of. I'm glad I helped fight the shitheads out here, and I'm glad everything seems to have worked out amazingly.
Posted by Y http://facebook.com/ymarksthespot on November 7, 2012 at 10:24 PM · Report this
93
Echoing @47 - There is probably only one straight person whose life was/will be negatively affected by this whole Gay Marriage vote: Mary Haugen, who lost her senate seat because she did the right thing. Send HER a card or a thank you note. http://www.senatedemocrats.wa.gov/senato…
Posted by Limey Rick on November 7, 2012 at 10:12 PM · Report this
Amy Kate Horn 92
We don't need a party. We did what was right. Sorry it took so long and that it had to go on a ballot to get there. <3
Posted by Amy Kate Horn on November 7, 2012 at 9:51 PM · Report this
91
You're thanking me? Thank YOU, gay people! Thank you for being JUST WHO YOU FUCKING ARE. I don't apologize for who I am and I don't expect you to do so either.
Posted by Maggie26 on November 7, 2012 at 9:49 PM · Report this
90
Been crying a lot here too. As a straight woman who fought hard, I enjoyed champagne with my gay dad and my fiance's gay moms. And thought about "our" daughters that were made with love, intention, a turkey baster and an amazing lesbian couple. Today, finally, our unconventional, and very queer, family feels recognized for what we are - 3 generations of mundane tradition held together with love. And sometimes tears and champagne. Thanks for letting us fight this fight. It's for all of us, not just "you gay people." We all deserve this world to be better than it was.
Posted by AlyssaRoyse on November 7, 2012 at 9:41 PM · Report this
McBomber 89
It's not "you" and "us," it's just US. Nice work, us!
I lived in California during the prop 8 vote and then offered only a ballot. During the strange toss-up time, I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of two beautiful women, one of which is now dying of ALS while her wife wonders if her marriage rights will be upheld. There's still a lot of work to do, but I'm so incredibly happy that she lived long enough to see Washington take this step.
Just continue to be a good husband and a good dad, Dan. (Or throw a party, too! I'll join, but it's not required nor expected.)
Posted by McBomber on November 7, 2012 at 9:27 PM · Report this
88
It was an honor to work on this campaign. Good job, everyone. Love wins.
Posted by kerri harrop http://generalbonkers.com on November 7, 2012 at 9:07 PM · Report this
87
This straight guy demands a free makeover
Posted by Pliggett Darcy on November 7, 2012 at 9:03 PM · Report this
SecretBYUBottomBoy 86
Congrats. We San Francisco queers salute you ad your straight allies. I could not be happier.
Posted by SecretBYUBottomBoy on November 7, 2012 at 8:47 PM · Report this
85
If they can deny your rights, they can deny mine. If they can can use your sexuality to deny your fundamental humanity, then someone can judge mine, and do the same to me; no one is truly safe.
Fighting for equality and basic rights is ALWAYS enlightened self-interest for any human being.

(A good example is your own vocally pro-woman, pro-choice campaigning, Dan. It's not like you were ever gong to need birth control, or have to decide what to do about an unplanned pregnancy. But you were in there pushing and shoving with us, just the same. )
So yeah, thank YOU.
Posted by DF on November 7, 2012 at 8:40 PM · Report this
84
@ 71. I think it's complicated, the way many of us gay people feel. Take the 80-year-old gay Maine man who is similarly amazed by marriage equality as by the feat of walking on the moon, and yet he does admit to feeling like he was born 50 years too soon. In a way, the amazement at many straight people getting involved is really sort of a back-handed compliment, isn't it?

http://gay.americablog.com/2012/10/what-…

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/10/09/opinio…
Posted by cgd on November 7, 2012 at 8:25 PM · Report this
Sandiai 83
I'm thinking more like 71. It's like when I lived in Louisiana in the 80's and black people would thank me for not being racist. That would always make me sad, because non-bigotry should be the standard or default position. Same with The Gays: It's the very LEAST we straight people can do.
Posted by Sandiai on November 7, 2012 at 8:23 PM · Report this
very bad homo 82
I was blown away by all the support we had on this. I'm still wiping my tears away almost 24 hours later.
Posted by very bad homo on November 7, 2012 at 7:20 PM · Report this
81
Winning was my reward! However, how can you (the general you) thank us? Have really expensive weddings! I don't normally advocate spending more than about $3K dollars on a wedding, but seriously, if you can afford it, please give us a wedding industry that can tell other states, "It's been great for us, great for the economy!"

And if you want a party for the straight allies, and who doesn't want a party? - How about a "what's next" party. Let's kick off a new effort to help other states, and get DOMA repealed, and start working harder for transgender rights. Capture the momentum!

As others said, thank us by enjoying this.
Posted by CorasMama on November 7, 2012 at 7:13 PM · Report this
wilbur@work 80
Happy to help. Hooray!!
Posted by wilbur@work on November 7, 2012 at 6:57 PM · Report this
Geni 79
Invite us to your wedding receptions, please, please, please! Oh, and Love Wins!!!
Posted by Geni on November 7, 2012 at 6:54 PM · Report this
78
I'm with @71(Idaho), a "Thanks for being decent human beings" party is too much. The fact that one day this won't be remarkable is beautiful.

I do want to find the Guerrilla Gay Bar (turning bars gay for a day!) in Napa Ca. for a party on the 20th if the supremes refuse to hear prop 8 or when it passes for the nation in June othewise. I'll go to a party for freedom but partying for us would be embarrassing; I'm just happy to be here.
Posted by SifuMark on November 7, 2012 at 6:33 PM · Report this
77
Geez, it was totally selfish on my part. (All I did was vote.). I love weddings and want to go to as many as possible!!!
Posted by Dana in bham on November 7, 2012 at 6:30 PM · Report this
76
Can some talented person make a graphically attractive version of Dan's beautiful quote from above. I think the words I've copied below would be easily shared on social media sites if they could be broken up into pretty lines and fonts like those quotes and prayers that make the rounds. Straight people read social media, right?

"Why don't we throw them a party? A big party to say, you know, thanks. Not, "Oh, gee, straight people, thank you so much for the civil rights." Rights are rights. We shouldn't have to beg for them. We shouldn't have to say "thank you" when they're recognized. We shouldn't even have to ask for them. But the sad fact is that we have had to fight for our rights. And the happy fact? We didn't have to fight this one alone. We had help. Thousands of straight people stood with us and fought for us. That's what we should thank the straight people for. Not for the rights—rights are rights are rights—but the way they joined our fight."
Posted by Michelle in Chicago on November 7, 2012 at 6:19 PM · Report this
75
I really love your books, and one of the things that has stuck with me is the image of the "serious" wedding rings that you and Terry keep tucked in a drawer.

What I want -- the "thank you" that would be meaningful to me personally -- is a picture of those rings on your hands, when we hit the point that you feel like you can wear them.
Posted by NaomiMN on November 7, 2012 at 5:50 PM · Report this
emma's bee 74
@71: Nailed it. It's just about the least we can do (other than simply voting the right way).
Posted by emma's bee on November 7, 2012 at 5:50 PM · Report this
73
As I've whinged on about, I was pleased to be one of the volunteers here in Maine. It was an honor and a slog and a genuine inspiration and I genuinely expected the campaign to lose, based on what I saw ... but am absolutely elated to have been dead wrong. I was practically skipping around at work today.

How exciting is it, witnessing history like this. It's truly thrilling and exhilarating.

As far as a celebration, I can't help it, Dan - I'm a sucker for romance - marry Terry, and this time, throw a big public party so we can all toast you both!

Posted by Velvetbabe on November 7, 2012 at 5:43 PM · Report this
mkyorai 72
All the thanks I need I can get by watching the Maggie Gallaghers of the world twist and scramble to try and explain what happened. I can be totally at peace just by watching the realization slowly dawning on them, which they can see now but can't admit, that they are on the wrong side of history, that their worldview is as doomed as that of a flat-Earthers. That's plenty thanks enough. That, and seeing people who deserve happiness, happy.
Posted by mkyorai on November 7, 2012 at 5:26 PM · Report this
71
Jesus fucking christ. Do gay people not realize they have been discriminated against all this time? They do not owe us the straight people even a thank you. We owe you an apology that it took this long.
Posted by idaho on November 7, 2012 at 5:21 PM · Report this
70
What I want to know is if Dan's Canadian marriage is going to be recognized, or there's going to have to be a redo in Washington State.

I am absolutely giddy about this. Everything is moving so far so fast, I can only imagine where we'll be in a few years.

Also, yay to my home state of Minnesota! We still may have that fucking anti-same sex marriage law in place, but we defeated the obscene anti-same sex marriage constitutional amendment. We even rejected that "government issued photo ID for voting" measure, which is also wonderful. Sadly, this "yay" is somewhat offset by the fact we managed to reelect Michele Bachmann. o_O
Posted by Lorran on November 7, 2012 at 5:15 PM · Report this
69
For what it's worth, Dan and others, You're Welcome!

I say 'for what it's worth', because it actually pisses me off that people are allowed to vote on whether or not other people have civil rights or not. Rights are rights. Period. /end rant

But, that said, this straight woman is beaming in happiness for family, friends, and friends of family who are gay and lesbian and have now had their right to love accepted officially! Congratulations, and job well done for never giving up!

Now to continue the fight in the rest of the states!
Posted by KanaW on November 7, 2012 at 5:09 PM · Report this
68
You can't realistically throw a party for "straight people" who support us, as that would involve inviting half the population of WA. It is more realistic to throw an amazing celebration for the more limited group of straight people who went above and beyond and gave their time, energy and money to R74. Depending on how you define this group, you are talking several thousand to 20,000. Since they wouldn't all be able to attend, I could see a huge block party for this group. Gay people could come and show them some love and gratitude. Awards. Free gifts. Performance by Macklemore. Let's do it.
Posted by Michael2019 on November 7, 2012 at 5:01 PM · Report this
67
Nobody has mentioned the role of the media and of common, everyday LGBT people coming out of the closet to their families, friends, and coworkers. Remember that it used to be that the only image most people had about this tiny minority was the crudely perverse stereotype peddled by churches, movies and the media at large. People thought gays and lesbians were these sick sex freaks who dressed in leather, partied all night, did all sorts of things, and got AIDS for their troubles. There's nothing inherently wrong with the first three, but it didn't reflect well on people's minds.

I don't know when the change came and how much the HIV pandemic played into it, but I think we turned a corner when the public started seeing this tiny minority as real, normal people, both in their TVs and movie screens as well as in their personal lives. I'm not good with the movie knowledge, but the title Long Time Companion springs to mind, right off the top of my head.

Insofar as popular culture and real life reflect each other, I don't know which one took the first step in presenting a realistic portrayal of LGBT people. However I give much credit to those sexual minorities who took the courageous step to come out, specially when doing so entailed the risk of great sacrifice. They may have lost in the short run but, many years later, we can say that the momentum is now firmly in the direction of eventual equality.

So yes, straight people needed to lend you their support. But before that could happen, they needed to see sexual minorities for who they are, for real - not sick freaks, but regular people. So gays and lesbians can thank themselves for living their lives openly. They really couldn't have done it without themselves, either.

(And that means you, Dan! With your cultural megaphone.)
More...
Posted by floater on November 7, 2012 at 4:59 PM · Report this
66
I was hoping Minnesota would pass gay marriage so Dan and Terry could tie the knot and then come and stay at our "straight but not narrow" farm across the river is Wisconsin. Congradulations, one and all !!
Peace
Posted by marking on November 7, 2012 at 4:55 PM · Report this
65
I'm a straight woman who did my part for equal rights yesterday. I'm so glad this passed--now I can sing as my cousin's wedding! You don't need to throw us a party, but if you DO throw one, I'll be there to celebrate!
Posted by revlisacat on November 7, 2012 at 4:32 PM · Report this
Posted by Joel_are on November 7, 2012 at 4:31 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 63
Where's Loveschild when I need to rub something in someone's nose?
Posted by Michael of the Green on November 7, 2012 at 4:29 PM · Report this
62
I grew up reading (and later listening to) Savage Love. The positive effect it's had on my relationships over the years is more than enough thanks.

Lots more work to be done!
Posted by MassTheDutchie on November 7, 2012 at 4:28 PM · Report this
61
I agree with the idea of some sort of big circlethank event. Music (not Journey again please)! Lights! Noshes!
Posted by gloomy gus on November 7, 2012 at 4:26 PM · Report this
Gern Blanston 60
Oh stop, you're embarrassing me!
Posted by Gern Blanston on November 7, 2012 at 4:25 PM · Report this
Catherwood 59
You know what's cool about this? Eight years ago, Republicans might have salivated at the prospect of having a same-sex marriage question on the ballot, because it would have ramped up their turnout -- but now, a mere eight years later, I don't think McKenna got the slightest bump from it, and if anything, it was the other way around: INSLEE got a bump from people who voted HELL YES on R-74 and thought, what the fuck, I'll throw a vote Inslee's way. It's astonishing to me: the gay bogey man has lost a lot of his ability to scare people, and so quickly.
Posted by Catherwood on November 7, 2012 at 4:24 PM · Report this
kim in portland 58
And... I hope to see your sweet faces when it is Oregon's turn.
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on November 7, 2012 at 4:23 PM · Report this
57
YOU'RE WELCOME! And thank you for helping make this a better state for my gay brother and sister, all my gay friends and all of us who have been STRAIGHT BUT NOT NARROW for years and years and years. God bless us, everyone.
Posted by Bob Z on November 7, 2012 at 4:22 PM · Report this
pfffter 56
Here's why we won. It was one of my favorite moments while canvassing for ref 74. I told a straight couple that had voted to approve 74 that they were awesome. The wife's response, "No, we're not awesome. WE ARE NORMAL."

Thank you, Dan, for all you do, and for recognizing how great the contribution was from all our straight allies. I hope we do give them one hell of a party.
Posted by pfffter on November 7, 2012 at 4:21 PM · Report this
55
I love Anna Minard!!!
Posted by mustachio on November 7, 2012 at 4:21 PM · Report this
kim in portland 54
We are in this together. We straight people need you. Let us keep working together.

Thank you for your kind words, Dan.

*Hugs*
Posted by kim in portland http://www.oregonlive.com/portland/index.ssf/2010/11/fast-paced_video_provides_a_fu.html on November 7, 2012 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Simply Me 53
Blow jobs for straight dudes?
Posted by Simply Me on November 7, 2012 at 4:18 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 52
Basically, the best thanks is invite your straight friends and relatives to your weddings.

Those that want to be there will show up and have fun too.

Those that don't will send you presents anyway, cause that's how it works.

Win. Win.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on November 7, 2012 at 4:11 PM · Report this
katrat 51
I really like @38's idea: look at all the folks we know who have already gotten married here and there in other states. It was always a half-step feeling. How about a giant wedding reception for all those folks, everybody who phone-banked, straights and gays, are invited? A dj plays crappy wedding dance standards and there are toasts, and garters and bouquets are thrown and clinking on glasses so gays and straights and everybody can kiss!
Posted by katrat http://www.kathrynrathke.com/ on November 7, 2012 at 4:09 PM · Report this
amyl 50
@47- Crap! I hadn't heard. Can we sent her a card or something? How do we get all of SLOG to sign a card for her?
Posted by amyl on November 7, 2012 at 4:07 PM · Report this
amyl 49
Just have good food at your weddings, that's plenty. And open bars if you can afford it.
Posted by amyl on November 7, 2012 at 4:05 PM · Report this
bgix 48
My 18yo daughter dragged me to the victory party at the Westin last night. We are both straight, and both worked on the campaign (her more than me). I got all the thanks I needed from all the happy folks in the R74 room. Great party. Lets do that every year (or two).
Posted by bgix on November 7, 2012 at 4:04 PM · Report this
Olo 47
Send some love to Mary Margaret Haugen, who paid for her support of the bill with her seat last night.
Posted by Olo on November 7, 2012 at 4:03 PM · Report this
46
My only request is, if you have a party, to have it after February 1, so I can be there. I'm moving to Seattle in January, and while I wasn't able to get out there in time to vote, I donated several times to Washington United For Marriage in the hopes that my newly adopted home state would have true marriage equality when I arrived. :)
Posted by autographedcat on November 7, 2012 at 4:02 PM · Report this
45
Seriously, though, I'm with @3.
Posted by palamedes on November 7, 2012 at 4:00 PM · Report this
44
I can always use help with my fashion sense. :-)
Posted by palamedes on November 7, 2012 at 3:58 PM · Report this
Canadian Nurse 43
I'm crying reading this post and all of the lovely responses. The universe bends towards justice, indeed.
Posted by Canadian Nurse on November 7, 2012 at 3:58 PM · Report this
Volo 42
I hope by pain killers, you just mean advil, and you didn't fall off a balcony or something last night.

Anyway, happy enough about the results, but wouldn't say no to a party.

Thanks for doing what you do.
Posted by Volo on November 7, 2012 at 3:55 PM · Report this
41
I like the idea of all you gay people having bigass gay weddings to celebrate this victory. Can I come? I have a bigass gay wedding hat (even though I'm straight). I want to go to a wedding. Lots of weddings. Bring it on, gay brethren (which includes ladies).
Posted by originalcinner on November 7, 2012 at 3:47 PM · Report this
Jessica 40
I don't need a cookie for being a decent human being, I just want to see people enjoy the rights they deserve.
Posted by Jessica on November 7, 2012 at 3:43 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 39
It is much appreciated, but as others have pointed out, we're all in this together. Injustice for any group in society is injustice for everyone. Even Maggie Gallagher. No one is so imprisoned as the inmate who thinks he's free.

I feel proud for WA & for the other states who have joined the enlightened world. Our fight for justice continues, but every victory should be celebrated.

Because, let's face it, we throw better parties than they do.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on November 7, 2012 at 3:32 PM · Report this
38
Everyone I know is asking when we'll get married, and can they attend? I think a big mass-wedding/reception is in order. The people who put in the effort want to celebrate, and what could be more of a party than a bigass gay wedding for the masses?
Posted by Jezzie on November 7, 2012 at 3:31 PM · Report this
37
No thanks needed. We just tried to do what was obviously the right thing.

Personally, my phone banking experiences left me deeply ashamed that I haven't done more. Sure, I did my little part for R-74. But I was profoundly moved by the people I was sitting next to: gay folks in my community who were making the case -- over and over again to complete strangers -- that they should be allowed to marry the partners they love. It was enraging and heartbreaking all at once in ways that I can't really describe.

I'm all for parties. But what I'd really like is that when my kid grows up and learns about the long-past history of legal discrimination against gay people, I'll be able to look him in the eye and tell him I tried to do the right thing.
Posted by pebble on November 7, 2012 at 3:26 PM · Report this
COMTE 36
The only thing you need to do is this:

Be good to each other. Be good husbands, wives and partners. Be good to the children you raise and to the families you create. Be good citizens, and help others in their own quest to become full citizens, because there's always someone else in need of support. Be inclusive, not divisive; be kind and not selfish. But most importantly, be happy; in the end, it really IS the best revenge!
Posted by COMTE on November 7, 2012 at 3:26 PM · Report this
35
I am a straight woman and a regular listener of your podcast. I've heard you stand up for my rights a million times - we are all in this together! Loved seeing the picture of your family last night on Twitter - seriously brought tears to my eyes. The world is a better place today.
Posted by CapitalB on November 7, 2012 at 3:22 PM · Report this
34
So Dan, are you getting married (again)?
Posted by nioclese on November 7, 2012 at 3:21 PM · Report this
33
I get it.

As a straight guy who had the "I'm okay with the gays, but not gay marriage" position for years (and the "I'm not okay with the gays for religious reasons" position before that), but came around on it long before this came up for a vote, I can't think of any way to say the above without it seeming like I want a pat on the head.

I don't. After all the awesome gays and lesbians I've gotten to know in the theater community (some of whom performed at my wedding!), I would've been ashamed of this state if we had denied them the right to enjoy the same happiness in public.

So I made calls, and I donated cash. I even talked a few people into rethinking their position. It'd be nice if I'd never had a "journey" toward acceptance to go on, but I wasn't born or raised in a vacuum. And being raised with beliefs that I no longer hold made it easier to talk to people who still hold them. To try and eke out a bit of compassion from people who will hang out in a copout, libertarian rut of "They can just sign a contract with each other for all of that, and the government shouldn't be in the marriage business anyway!"

It can happen. It will happen, over time. As the cognitive dissonance kicks in for people who realize that they can't support gays while opposing gay marriage, and as the most stanchly moralistic opposition gradually passes away, we will progress.

There will be holdouts, but things will get better.
Posted by NobodySpecial on November 7, 2012 at 3:21 PM · Report this
32
Congratulations, people of Washington.

This isn't new. For women to get the vote (federally in 1920 and state-by-state before that), men had to vote to approve it. For blacks to get the vote, whites had to vote to approve it. The only difference with recognizing the rights of gays was that they were able to vote the whole time. But whenever a minority group of people wants something that the majority has and they don't, the majority has to agree to share it. It's to the credit of the whole effed species that it's happened at all, let alone so many times.

Here's to the work done and the work that there is yet to do.

And remember, like in New York, every married gay couples in Washington and Maine will prove to the rest of the country that married gay couples are a good thing. More states will follow.
Posted by DRF on November 7, 2012 at 3:20 PM · Report this
31
Please don't. Continue to live your lives with dignity, that's all I ask. You are my closest friends, allies, heroes, and mentors. You, (the LGBTQ community and Dan Savage) have taught me more than I can ever thank you for so it seemed like the least I could do. Maybe that's why it took so long for me to jump on board - because it didn't occur to me often enough that there were differences in how we were seen and treated under the law. I always assumed we were equal. I'm just sorry it didn't come sooner.
Posted by Sandy8454 on November 7, 2012 at 3:18 PM · Report this
30
i so totally get this impulse, and love the idea. i just love allies, in general -- straight allies of lgbt folks, of course, but any allies, any person who steps outside of their own privilege and says, i stand with you!

maybe you could have some kind of event where straight folks get in free, queer folks make some sort of donation, and you give the money to some other cause, some cause that is not specifically about queer folks. not sure what it would be -- maybe immigration reform? standing with dream act kids? some cause that queer folks should be allies of, and you could give the donation on behalf of, in honor of, all the straight allies who came through for us.
Posted by martarose on November 7, 2012 at 3:18 PM · Report this
29
Sometimes we just need someone/something to bring an issue to our attention. Mine was an artist who I feel deserves everything that this life has to offer, life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If that includes marriage to his partner, go for it. How dare anyone say he can't.
My children did not have anyone vote on whether they were able to marry, so it sucks that someone else's child/children has to be put through that.
Congrats for the success in this election, now lets yank the rest of the USA into the 21st Century.
Posted by pattygale on November 7, 2012 at 3:17 PM · Report this
28
Thank you Dan and everyone who helped frame the debate and provide us straight people with such eloquent talking points and reponses to those who were either undecided or were against R-74. I have been so excited and emotional all day. My high point here in Arizona was when my 83 year old snow-bird grandma said rather loudly before her very Republican-conservative cousins "By the way honey, I made sure to vote for R-74 before I left Washington to come down here." So incredibly proud!!!
Posted by jwlsesq on November 7, 2012 at 3:17 PM · Report this
27
A party is the right answer. Because nobody -- I mean, NOBODY -- can throw a party like we gays.

THANK YOU to all our straight allies who made this possible. Thank you for taking a chance, for being willing to be scorned, for looking beyond the rhetoric. THANK YOU!
Posted by MileHighJoe on November 7, 2012 at 3:16 PM · Report this
despicable me 26
Dan, please read my comment on this morning's post. THANK YOU, friends, family, co-workers, neighbors, strangers, DAN SAVAGE, JOE JERVIS, ANDREW SULLIVAN, JOHN ARAVOSIS, HRC, Marriage Equality, et al. Sorry for any names not mentioned above but you are all very much appreciated and included in that THANK YOU!
Posted by despicable me on November 7, 2012 at 3:15 PM · Report this
25
No thanks needed. We thank you for your courage. That's more than enough.
Posted by Corvallis_Supporter on November 7, 2012 at 3:14 PM · Report this
sprflycat 24
My gay brothers and sisters have saved and enriched me so much over the years, that this just felt like a downpayment on paying them back the favor. Lots of work to do yet....
Posted by sprflycat http://hustleandfaith.tumblr.com/ on November 7, 2012 at 3:13 PM · Report this
23
I will send a check from Alaska to help fund it!!!
Posted by Alaska Chris on November 7, 2012 at 3:09 PM · Report this
22
Thanks for having our backs, straight folk!
Posted by Karina on November 7, 2012 at 3:07 PM · Report this
rob! 21
And not just straight people, as I commented this morning, but all kinds of "other" people who voted in our favor or donated from near or far, or otherwise helped us along the way, especially those we might have called out in the past for having a higher percentage of anti-gay people unfortunately yoked with either their visible or self-professed "otherness."

In short, and especially, people of color, people of faith, people of a certain age or background or residence through no fault of their own in some backwards shithole :), who have done the soul-searching and the mental work to arrive on their own at the conclusion that civil rights are civil rights and they should put their vote, or time, or wallet, or earnest internet expostulation, in service thereof. Thank you.
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on November 7, 2012 at 3:05 PM · Report this
20
Thank you!
Posted by allllison on November 7, 2012 at 3:00 PM · Report this
19
Why thank us straights for helping with something that's so self-evidently the way things ought to be? Be happy that the fight has been won, even shake your head in wonder that the opponents dragged it out for so damn long, and go about your business of being regular humans with regular relationships.

Oh, and when you're/we're done celebrating this, let's continue to work on reversing federal tax (and other) discrimination.
Posted by N in Seattle http://peacetreefarm.org on November 7, 2012 at 3:00 PM · Report this
18
Thank you all!
Posted by drawn on November 7, 2012 at 2:58 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 17
You are all heroes in my book! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Posted by Pope Peabrain on November 7, 2012 at 2:57 PM · Report this
Leishalynn 16
I disagree only a tiny percentage of people are straight. I think only a tiny percentage are actually all gay or all straight, and the rest of us (I mean the most of us) have sexual responses to everything and everyone that turns us on regardless of gender. Publicly endorsing gay marriage moves us toward accepting ourselves and each other, so eventually we'll see it's true: at any one time, half the world is gay.
Posted by Leishalynn on November 7, 2012 at 2:57 PM · Report this
15
No thanks needed. Just common courtesy and respect for others.

But you're welcome. I've been giddy about this all day.
Posted by zzyzx on November 7, 2012 at 2:54 PM · Report this
14
That's funny, just this morning, I was thinking, "Thank YOU, Dan Savage."

You've spent years fighting this fight before the rest of us got on board, putting yourself out there and absorbing unbelievable amounts of shit flung at you from all corners. But you're still here, still standing strong, still leading and inspiring.

So thank you.
Posted by MLM on November 7, 2012 at 2:51 PM · Report this
johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt 13
I thanked my coworkers this am
Posted by johnjacobjingleheimerschmidt on November 7, 2012 at 2:50 PM · Report this
saxfanatic 12
Uh, could you put in a good word for me with the straight girls? I'm sure it would help me out.

Or better still, how about helping out straight boys everywhere by declaring a national gay wing man night?
Posted by saxfanatic on November 7, 2012 at 2:49 PM · Report this
11
That my friends, loved ones, and children can marry whomever they want is all the thanks I need. Next up: killing DOMA.
Posted by jkjk on November 7, 2012 at 2:48 PM · Report this
10
here's how you say thank you:

get behind voting rights for dc residents. voting rights for puerto rico. straight people helped gays get equal rights and justice, because we all deserve it. believe me there's people out there who need everyone to get behind their cause.

or this:

every single person in jail or with conviction for pot possession that would be legal after 502? Let them out of jail. Expunge their records. Free them. It's not a crime! get some retroactivity here.

be expansive and help others, that would be the way to say thanks.
Posted by action versus words on November 7, 2012 at 2:47 PM · Report this
9
Just so you know, equal civil rights helps everyone. The more I work to ensure LGBT civil rights, the more I see how much this helps the straight community too. We all benefit when our society is more accepting and just.

That having been said, fuck yeah, I'd love to join a kick-ass party. Can you figure out how to get me home afterwards? You know, just in case I have a bit too much to drink?
Posted by SeattleKim on November 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM · Report this
8
I don't think thanks are necessarily needed, but a party is probably in order, and if one is thrown, I suggest it be for all ages - something we can bring our kids to. (besides, I can't go anywhere without my kids these days, anyway)
Posted by Jude Fawley on November 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM · Report this
Baconcat 7
Rent a big place and throw a party for 'em. Put the LGBT community's finest out there to celebrate all our top straight allies. Bring in a great queer emcee (maybe Rachel Maddow -- straight folks LOVE her), some LGBT performers and so on.

We have an inclusive ENDA, passed same-sex partnerships TWICE, anti-bullying laws, and so on, and it wouldn't have been possible without them. And all the stuff we still need to work on? We now know they'll be there with us.

Let's do it.
Posted by Baconcat on November 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM · Report this
6
It should never have needed a referendum. The legislature passed it, the Governor signed it. That should have been that.

(But, you're welcome. It was worth it. Hugs.)
Posted by originalcinner on November 7, 2012 at 2:46 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 5
I think the 2013 Pride Parade Theme should be "Thank a Str8 Person". I'll contact SOaP about it.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on November 7, 2012 at 2:44 PM · Report this
milemarker 4
Thank You Straight People!!!! Bear Hugs!!! You're all invited to my wedding (bring your own bottle).
Posted by milemarker on November 7, 2012 at 2:44 PM · Report this
3
Just have a happier life and marry if you so desire. It's embarrassing that it took this long for it to happen.
Posted by tiktok on November 7, 2012 at 2:42 PM · Report this
2
Whatevs, man, no party needed. But you could bring me coffee tomorrow morning.
Posted by jt on November 7, 2012 at 2:38 PM · Report this
BearNecessity 1
"Thank you."
Posted by BearNecessity on November 7, 2012 at 2:37 PM · Report this

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