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Cato the Younger Younger 1
I don't think all of us think Dan is "cool". Someone who has done many great things without doubt but "cool"? Eh...that's pushing it. :)
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on November 13, 2012 at 7:44 AM · Report this
Chef Thunder 2
I hope her husband is paying for school himself. No state or federal subsidies, no federal grants. Otherwise she is also helping destroying freedom.
Posted by Chef Thunder on November 13, 2012 at 7:46 AM · Report this
lrb 3
Texas please, we have too many of your type already out East.
Posted by lrb on November 13, 2012 at 7:46 AM · Report this
She'd fit in fine in Utah.
Posted by StuckInUtah on November 13, 2012 at 7:51 AM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 5
You still have the freedom to hate your neighbor, Keli. What more do you need?
Posted by Pope Peabrain on November 13, 2012 at 7:52 AM · Report this
--MC 6
This is the gal who used to dress as Liberty Belle, right? Maybe she and Phoenix Jones can commiserate on how people don't quite take them seriously enough.
Posted by --MC on November 13, 2012 at 7:54 AM · Report this
pfffter 7
She'd fit fine. In Iran.
Posted by pfffter on November 13, 2012 at 7:56 AM · Report this
You lookin' at? Are you lookin' at me?
Posted by Modern Classic on November 13, 2012 at 7:58 AM · Report this
Brooklyn Reader 9
You know, if wherever you go you're constantly surrounded by pleasant, respectful people you are convinced are out to get you, they have pills for that.

May she find happiness someday, without losing it altogether and engaging in mass murder.
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on November 13, 2012 at 7:59 AM · Report this
Dr_Awesome 11
She is a 'patriot' and 'libs are destroying freedom'. We need our media to call them on this bullshit, immediately and often.

Which freedom, exactly, was destroyed? Can she clarify for us, or will her head explode?
Posted by Dr_Awesome on November 13, 2012 at 8:03 AM · Report this
Fifty-Two-Eighty 12
Eh. Now that's a real faggot.
Posted by Fifty-Two-Eighty on November 13, 2012 at 8:04 AM · Report this
Ms. Carender exemplifies the Republican ideal of "love America, hate Americans". I'm surrounded by this type of person in western VA. They are an unending source of amusement.
Posted by DrSlipnSlide on November 13, 2012 at 8:11 AM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 14

I wish the Tea Party would move out of the GOP's basement and get a job.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on November 13, 2012 at 8:15 AM · Report this
Thank you. I hear so many people talking about how Obama is destroying freedom. How? Which parts?
Posted by Clayton on November 13, 2012 at 8:23 AM · Report this
Il Porno Star 16
Thanks for reminding me to turn on NPR, Dan. I knew something was missing from my morning!
Posted by Il Porno Star on November 13, 2012 at 8:24 AM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 17
She was shopping at Taker Joe's? Trading is nasty and Un-American.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on November 13, 2012 at 8:26 AM · Report this
I have a message for Ms. Carender: it can be pretty lonely being an out, gay, liberal Democrat in a small town in Louisiana. But I don't spend at my time at Wal-Mart glaring at the other customers and resenting them for their political views. Get a grip, already.
Posted by Clayton on November 13, 2012 at 8:29 AM · Report this
Those other two seem tolerable enough. Carender sounds like a real asshole, though.
Posted by madcap on November 13, 2012 at 8:31 AM · Report this
ryanayr 20
To be fair, I also hate humanity when I am inside the U-district Trader Joes.
Posted by ryanayr on November 13, 2012 at 8:33 AM · Report this
Keister Button 21
Trader Joe's was probably full of university students, some of them international and thus ineligible to vote (Keli Carender might explain how they are destroying freedom), and university students who did vote and voted to Approve R-74 and I-502. How do those voters destroy freedom?

The logic is not clear here. Is there a way of dressing that leads conservatives to immediately and correctly identify who is a liberal at Trader Joe's? Because if K. Carender were at TJ's, unless she was in an Uncle Sam outfit (maybe she saves that for her hot nights with Conor), being white and under 35, she could have dressed the way most white Americans under 35 dress, and be indistinguishable.
Posted by Keister Button on November 13, 2012 at 8:36 AM · Report this
February 2009? What recent event might have pushed her to invoke the start of the American Revolution, the Boston Tea Party?
Here's a good answer:…
Posted by Sir Vic on November 13, 2012 at 8:37 AM · Report this
Pridge Wessea 23
@14: 8/10 - Amusing!
Posted by Pridge Wessea on November 13, 2012 at 8:39 AM · Report this
No no, please please don't move to Texas, we're working hard to ridicule and marginalize your people down here! A long road, but it's starting to pay off...
Posted by Paddio on November 13, 2012 at 8:45 AM · Report this
Damn commie-liberal loose leaf tea - doesn't know proper boundaries without a premade teabag, and it's probably some effete fancy organic free-range cage-free tea...

What kind?
Posted by MemeGene on November 13, 2012 at 8:47 AM · Report this
Fortunate 26
OK, while I think she is nuts just for being a tea partier, I do kind of understand her feelings.

I felt exactly the same when Prop 8 passed here in California. I didn't want anything to do with anyone I didn't already know because I knew there was a good chance they voted against my rights. Walking down the street I felt surrounded by enemies. I lost any sense of trust in other people.

Of course I think that Ms. Carender is crazy for thinking that liberals are the one's destroying freedom. But I do understand how she is feeling having lost. It took me a while to get over feeling that way myself after Prop 8, and there is still a little nagging bit of that feeling that rests in the back of my mind that I do my best to ignore.
Posted by Fortunate on November 13, 2012 at 9:00 AM · Report this
originalcinner 28
Re the freedoms that have been taken away from them, they're kind of obscure and hard to see. One is "prayer in schools" and another is "the right of religious employers to refuse to cover birth control under mandatory health insurance". The first isn't real and the second doesn't affect any tea party loons personally. They just like whining.
Posted by originalcinner on November 13, 2012 at 9:11 AM · Report this
batty 29
Only in the Northwest is glaring at people a form of protest. Perhaps next she'll talk to a friend about them just within their earshot. Or if she really wants to ramp it up, a stern letter to the Rant and Rave section.
Posted by batty on November 13, 2012 at 9:20 AM · Report this
Pretty sure they still allow voting in Eastern Washington and Texas.
Posted by Nikkinuski on November 13, 2012 at 9:27 AM · Report this
Don't let the door hit you on your way out, Keli Carender. Maybe you can move to Texas and help them secede. Or perhaps you could be the one to convince all the other unAmerican Tea Partiers such as yourself to leave the country.
Posted by suddenlyorcas on November 13, 2012 at 9:27 AM · Report this
And why did this idiot even move out to Seattle in the first place?
Posted by suddenlyorcas on November 13, 2012 at 9:29 AM · Report this
Keister Button 33
Next week's "I, Anonymous" column:

You Freedom Destroyers with your carts plodding like pod people in the skinny aisles at Trader Joe's! Stop destroying my freedom! Stop taking all the Mandarin Orange Chicken! And the gingersnaps! Try fasting and using your savings to pay down your student loans and the national debt, morans[sic]."
Posted by Keister Button on November 13, 2012 at 9:32 AM · Report this
Rob in Baltimore 34
Maybe she thinks if she glares hard enough, she can make liberal's head explode. In reality, she's just going to give herself an aneurysm.

Oh, and Dan, you're the bees knees!
Posted by Rob in Baltimore on November 13, 2012 at 9:33 AM · Report this
Knat 35
Those that have already proven themselves trustworthy have no need to say, "Trust me." So, by extension, when someone feels the need to officially dub themselves a patriot, they are unwittingly telling the world that they are anything but.
Posted by Knat on November 13, 2012 at 9:36 AM · Report this
Puty 36
Pajama Savage > freedom freaks. Woot indeed!
Posted by Puty on November 13, 2012 at 9:48 AM · Report this
treacle 37
ME! ME! I'll glare at people madly! Ooooo mmmmm <glare!> Grrrrr, yeahhh... <glare!> Those... mfrknng People! <glare! glare!!>

THAT'll show 'em how they're literally RUINING this country! People who love each other can now form live-long bonds recognized by the STATE = LESS FREDOM FOR ME. Making sure EVERYFUCKINGONE has Goddam HEALTHCARE ... ruining EVEYTHING. Bastards.

< GLARE!!! >
Posted by treacle on November 13, 2012 at 9:52 AM · Report this
thatsnotright 38
Glaring is so Seattle, how will she survive anywhere else? If she moves to Arizona, she''ll have to step up her game and move on to mass murder, or run someone over in her SUV, at the very least.
Posted by thatsnotright on November 13, 2012 at 9:54 AM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 39
Liberals can form the "Loose Leaf" Patriots! Too bad we'll be thought to be notebook fetishists.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 13, 2012 at 10:00 AM · Report this
As a means of "reaching across the political abyss" that defines the current relationship between Democrats and Far Right Republican wackos, I will offer to help Keli pack her bags for her proposed move to Eastern Washington, or Texas (or anywhere else besides Washington State).

P.S. There are pills and therapy that may be able to help you live a less paranoid life.
Posted by barbpski on November 13, 2012 at 10:07 AM · Report this
bearseatbeats 41
I have it on pretty good authority that her husband is actually one of those America-destroying liberals. Yet another one of those politically mismatched relationships I just don't get, except it's usually the dude who's conservative (if hetero).
Posted by bearseatbeats on November 13, 2012 at 10:15 AM · Report this
Posted by SunshineandPuppies on November 13, 2012 at 10:20 AM · Report this
I think I know more Dan types than Teabaggers here in my liberal corner of Salt Lake.
Posted by DC270 on November 13, 2012 at 10:31 AM · Report this
DOUG. 44
Hey Keli Carender:

If you really want your voice heard, and to make the Tea Party an actual party, then why don't you run for office? It sounds like you live in the 43rd District, where you very possibly could've made the General Election ballot for State Representative this year.

Would you win? No. But you'd be on the ballot, and occasionally on the radio, and definitely in the Stranger (who I'm sure would lavish attention upon you).

Or you could hang out at the U-District Trader Joe's, with your bottle of Two Buck Chuck...and a big glass of whine.
Posted by DOUG. on November 13, 2012 at 10:36 AM · Report this
Badger 45
I just want to say that I glare at people every time I am in the U. District Trader Joe's. It has nothing to do with their politics - I just want them to get the fuck out of my way. That store has the most loitery customers in the world. Buy the damned sandwich already ain't a life decision!

PS> Harumph!
Posted by Badger on November 13, 2012 at 10:40 AM · Report this
long-time reader 46
Yes, what kind of tea? Oolong, black, green, white? Yellow? And what brand? Inquiring minds, you know.
Posted by long-time reader on November 13, 2012 at 11:18 AM · Report this
If she decides to move to Texas, she's going to have to be more selective about which city than in the past. Dallas has a black Democratic man as mayor, and they've re-elected a lesbian sheriff.
Posted by NotYourStrawMan on November 13, 2012 at 11:18 AM · Report this

Not funny. Those types are prone to violence.
Posted by Patricia Kayden on November 13, 2012 at 11:20 AM · Report this
Keli Carender, like most her ilk, are nearly incapable of self awareness and honest introspection. Spoiled narcissists who are fast becoming culturally irrelevant.

Rather than adapt they cloister themselves in reality denial bubbles where they are the perpetual victims despite their legacy of entitlements and privileges - which they have done nothing to earn. Mercer Island? Fleeing to Texas? C'mon. This script writes itself.

She supports the same failed policies over and over and expects some magically different outcome. Expects to be forever immune from history. And when faced with the consequences of her ignorance, chooses to double down on blaming literally the least powerful people in society for her fears. The working poor.

They got shellacked in this election. And they simply cannot face facts that history turned against them.

Which is good for the rest of us, actually.
Posted by tkc on November 13, 2012 at 11:25 AM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 50
I think the very crazy part is that she thinks anyone recognizes her at all. And when the Udistrict Trader Joes is busy I glare at everyone in there because crowds make me tense. Sorry about that, everyone.
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings on November 13, 2012 at 11:38 AM · Report this
@11 The greatest freedom that is being destroyed is the one to mooch off others by going without health insurance and then winding up in the hospital with some sort of grave illness or injury completely lacking the means to pay for your care. Us liberals have nothing on the tea party when it comes to looking out for the rights of moochers.
Posted by Rhizome on November 13, 2012 at 11:38 AM · Report this
Roosevelt 52
That Trader Joe's is just way too small. It is hard to find what you're looking for there. I wish they would expand or find a larger building. maybe they could move into one of those huge developments that are being built along 11th and 12th just south of 47th. The staff at that TJ's are very friendly, though. And Peroni is only $8.99 a six pack. Best thing to do is go in the morning on a weekday to avoid the crowds.
Posted by Roosevelt on November 13, 2012 at 11:46 AM · Report this
More, I Say! 53
Trader Joes is always an occasion to glare. The only time I was ever able to part aisles with ease was when pushing my broke-kneed friend in a wheelchair. We were like Moses that day!

In sum, if you want people to get out of your way at TJ's AND be nice about it, use a wheelchair.
Posted by More, I Say! on November 13, 2012 at 11:57 AM · Report this
When I worked at whole foods in Roosevelt I had the pleasure of helping Keli, she was a classical whole foods shopper (some of you were rad, so ignore what I'm about to say), insanely rude to both the workers and other guests. When I saw her picture this morning I simply thought, I recognize that person, man, I am glad I left that place.
Posted by CbytheSea on November 13, 2012 at 12:08 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 55
You should forward the harassing emails to the FBI.

I used to do that. Got bored after they imprisoned a whole bunch of them.

Nowadays I just report them as spam, since they're trying to sell me their failed ideology.
Posted by Will in Seattle on November 13, 2012 at 12:28 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 56
Oh and Trader Joe's is a German owned company.
Posted by Will in Seattle on November 13, 2012 at 12:29 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 57

It's funny to me that a teabagger shops at the popular-with-liberals Trader Joe's and Whole Foods. (And, yes, I'm aware that Whole Foods is run by a libertarian douchebag, just don't let the customers know.)

Shouldn't she be killing herself with Pop Tarts purchased from Wal-Mart?
Posted by keshmeshi on November 13, 2012 at 12:37 PM · Report this


I've got it.

We need to set up a preserve for these self-involved teabaggers.

We can fence off parts of Texas, Oklahoma, and Nebraska.

We can fill the preserve up with row after row of full-length mirrors.

Then they can spend all day jerking off in front of them.

Problem solved.
Posted by jeffinfremont on November 13, 2012 at 12:44 PM · Report this
"Is there a way of dressing that leads conservatives to immediately and correctly identify who is a liberal at Trader Joe's?"

I know, it's all the Hawaiian shirts, right?
Posted by avast2006 on November 13, 2012 at 1:06 PM · Report this
Self-segregation is real. Sometimes based on race or ethnicity or economics or religion, and sometimes based on politics.

I think of my gay best friend, or best gay friend, who moved back to Oregon, in part, because he and his hubby wanted to escape a red state (Georgia) and move to a blue state.

Or my folks, when they wanted a fresh start after my Dad's job situation blew up, selected Arizona, in part, because they're Republicans.

So a Mercer Island-born teabagger yearning for Texas, or some other place where like-minded folks predominate, isn't really all that weird.

As to the glaring at U-District Trader Joe's shoppers, while thinking paranoid ad hominem thoughts, that does qualify as a little weird.
Posted by Functional Atheist on November 13, 2012 at 1:27 PM · Report this
Bonefish 61
The only "freedom" that liberals DON'T support, and that teabaggers do, is the "freedom" to victimize other people.

I wish these fucktards could get that bit of non-rocket-science into their heads. It's not like there isn't plenty of room for it.
Posted by Bonefish on November 13, 2012 at 1:28 PM · Report this
@57 what was more funny was the time I got yelled at my a customer for having apples in the spring from New Zealand (you know, when they're fresh, as opposed to locally grown ones, which would be pretty old by the time). They said it was because the owner was a Republican and didn't care about the environment. Long story short: whole foods is a grocery store, nothing more nothing less.
Posted by CbytheSea on November 13, 2012 at 1:55 PM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 63
@58 "I must confess, you have an astonishingly good idea there, Doctor"
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 13, 2012 at 2:15 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 64
She'll fit right in in Eastern Washington. Spokane even has a Trader Joe's, and even another organic grocery store. And almost everybody here is white! The only problem is, some of them are meth-heads and might stab you.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on November 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM · Report this
Geni 65
Might I recommend Rathdrum, Idaho, to you, Keli dear? Lots of "your kind" out thataway.

Also, just by the by...people voting for things you don't like isn't actually taking away your "freedom." It's disagreement, not tyranny.
Posted by Geni on November 13, 2012 at 3:38 PM · Report this
OutInBumF 66
Please don't move to E Washington. We don't need you added to the other 70% that vote R, nor do we need to read any more of your twisted letters to the editor in our local rags. Please seriously consider Texas, or even Idaho. Just please leave Washington.
Posted by OutInBumF on November 13, 2012 at 4:01 PM · Report this
TLjr 67
I was wondering who the crazy woman was who was accusing me of destroying freedom while I was trying to get a frozen goat cheese pizza. Mystery solved!
Posted by TLjr on November 13, 2012 at 4:51 PM · Report this
venomlash 68
@59: No no, they're wondering how to spot LIBERALS at Trader Joe's, not employees.
Posted by venomlash on November 13, 2012 at 5:04 PM · Report this
Yeah, funny thing about looking for someone else to blame. The person who deserves the blame is YOU. We didn't vote Tea Party in this country because you offered us conspiracy theories, nonsense, xenophobia, homophobia, and other examples of gross douchbaggery. Also, your kind got into office and promptly started doing exactly what they said they were going to fight. I mean, seriously... your shining example of glory is Michelle "I'm against gay marriage because I'm in one" Bachmann, who puts all of her pent up sexual frustration into looking for Muslims. Get with the times, stop being so damned stupid, and offer solutions, not ridiculous witch hunts.
Posted by MinnySota on November 13, 2012 at 5:08 PM · Report this
balderdash 70
I hope she decides on Texas, then moves to Austin where she can carry on her ridiculous persecution complex unabated.

Although what I actually hope is that she has some sort of personal crisis from which she emerges safe and unharmed but during which she has to rely on government assistance in some way.

Although on that point: she's married to a graduate student in mathematics? There is a near-zero chance that he is NOT receiving federal and/or state funding. I wonder if she knows.
Posted by balderdash on November 13, 2012 at 5:51 PM · Report this
Indian, I hope, not China, although one of the highlights of going to New York for me was a visit to a little shop that had its own China Rose tea. And I cannot recall ever being disappointed bwith any tea from Kenya. But green would displease Dame Judi Dench.
Posted by vennominon on November 13, 2012 at 10:10 PM · Report this
Clever_Innuendo 72
No, stay out of Texas. We've already reached our quota of loonies. Although, I agree that it would be hilarious if she moved here to Austin (or even Houston) and realized that big cities in Texas are just like big cities in other states...extremely liberal. She'd probably have to move out to some shithole like Cut and Shoot, TX. No Trader Joe's or Whole Foods there!

Also, may I strongly recommend Pima County, Arizona? Border fences for everyone!
Posted by Clever_Innuendo on November 13, 2012 at 11:44 PM · Report this
thecheesegirl 73
@47: And Houston's mayor is a lesbian. And forget about Austin! Austin held Leslie as a widely respected pillar of the community, allows women to go topless (although the only place I've seen anyone take advantage of that law is at Eeyore's Birthday Party), and, if you look at an electoral map of Texas, generally stands out as a shining beacon of blue in a sea of red.
Posted by thecheesegirl on November 14, 2012 at 9:26 AM · Report this
dear keli, plano or lubbock "you go now!". MTFAA!= move the fuck away already!
Posted by juan gabriel on November 14, 2012 at 9:33 AM · Report this
geoz 75
Glaring? they call that affection where I come from.
Posted by geoz on November 14, 2012 at 9:59 AM · Report this
She sounds like what the French would call une mal baisée. Google Translate it.
Posted by PCM on November 15, 2012 at 8:24 AM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 77
@76 lmao
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on November 16, 2012 at 9:48 AM · Report this

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