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Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
His speech wasn't long enough. He should have gone on and on until that McDonald's was closed. I really wish these people understood how messed up our healthcare system is.
Posted by CbytheSea on November 13, 2012 at 2:08 PM · Report this
He forgot to report the 40-second fart at the end of his oration.
Posted by maddogm13 on November 13, 2012 at 2:15 PM · Report this
McDonald's is why Americans need health insurance.
Posted by natalie on November 13, 2012 at 2:19 PM · Report this
I'm wondering if this is an instance of Poe's Law.

Seriously. No one is "taking" anything from the kid working the counter at McDonald's.
But just in case ... that guy should find a secluded spot in the desert and set up his own McDonald's clone which would be completely unlike McDonald's because that would be intellectual property theft but still fulfill the same role as McDonald's so the other Randians can form a society there where the moochers won't be mooching off of them any more.
Posted by fairly.unbalanced on November 13, 2012 at 2:20 PM · Report this
...After which our hero keels over dead from a massive heart attack that is the result of the stress of being a virginal, mid-40s 300lb. Halo-addicted software engineer living in the sweaty, Flamin'-Hot-Cheeto-encrusted cocoon of his parents' basement.
Posted by Mr. Happy Sunshine on November 13, 2012 at 2:23 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 6
@1 Precisely. Any Randian that can't manage a simple 60-page monologue is a poser.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on November 13, 2012 at 2:28 PM · Report this
Posted by Kalakalot on November 13, 2012 at 2:28 PM · Report this
Fistique 8
I've always wondered--who is John Galt?
Posted by Fistique on November 13, 2012 at 2:30 PM · Report this
The depth and richness of the self-mythologizing is AMAZING. I love it. Someone's going to write an awesome book about these people some day. Sociology, psychology, politics, all wrapped up in self-aggrandizement and revenge porn.
Posted by nullbull on November 13, 2012 at 2:36 PM · Report this
The Taker left McDonald's and the true Americans recited the pledge of allegiance, then sang the star spangled banner.

And that MCDonald's name....was Ronald Reagan.
Posted by WanderingSoul on November 13, 2012 at 2:37 PM · Report this
Cato the Younger Younger 11
Come on...I'd almost pay to watch that sort of shit on the screen as opposed to the Atlas Crapped movie.

I mean it's set in.....a McDonald's!!! LOL!!!!
Posted by Cato the Younger Younger on November 13, 2012 at 2:42 PM · Report this
He's worried about people getting government-subsidized adequate healthcare will be mooching off of the employees of that McDonalds? I suppose this is one of those rare McDonalds where the employees aren't overcharged for comically bad health insurance that's al…, or where the employees make enough money not to qualify for health insurance subsidies under the ACA?

OK, then.
Posted by Warren Terra on November 13, 2012 at 2:44 PM · Report this
Fred Casely 13
From a story in yesterday's Sacramento Bee:
The statewide sales tax increase – a quarter-cent on the dollar – kicks in Jan. 1. That will hike the sales tax in most of Sacramento County from 7.75 percent to 8 percent. However, city of Sacramento voters approved an additional half-cent tax hike that starts April 1, increasing their rate to 8.5 percent. Galt also will be at 8.5 percent.

Posted by Fred Casely on November 13, 2012 at 2:47 PM · Report this
Hey, if some crackpot was ranting in my face while I was trying to get lunch, I'd shake my head and GTFO too.
Posted by tired and true on November 13, 2012 at 2:55 PM · Report this
--MC 15
Posted by --MC on November 13, 2012 at 2:55 PM · Report this
This is unbelievable!

Everyone knows that the trains roll through the drive-thru!
Posted by #0 Seconds In, Someone Would've Yelled "Fuck Off!" on November 13, 2012 at 2:59 PM · Report this
Sounds like a sequel to Compliance.
Posted by ratzkywatzky on November 13, 2012 at 3:03 PM · Report this
I was reading this, thinking "all this needed was a slowly building round of applause to truly take it into neverneverland territory," then I realized he had it in there!

"The room was absolutely silent for a moment, then one of the retired guys started clapping... and within a few seconds, he was joined by another... then by someone across the restaurant... and pretty soon it sounded like the entire restaurant was applauding."

Posted by Levislade on November 13, 2012 at 3:05 PM · Report this
I thought the ACA required all of us moochers to pay for private, for-profit medical insurance.
Posted by pox on November 13, 2012 at 3:08 PM · Report this
This is the time to take out a phone and start circling like you're at the zoo, taking a lot of photos from about two feet away.
Posted by Prettybetsy on November 13, 2012 at 3:10 PM · Report this
Rujax! 21

...or something.
Posted by Rujax! on November 13, 2012 at 3:13 PM · Report this
Bub 22
Can someone please recreate this scene on film? PLEASE?
Posted by Bub on November 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM · Report this
seandr 23

I'm a business owner, and I imagine I speak for a lot of other business owners when I say that I'd be delighted to transfer responsibility for health insurance, and all of the fucking paperwork, to the government.
Posted by seandr on November 13, 2012 at 3:17 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 24
Related: Ayn Rand fan fiction a substantial improvement over Ayn Rand's fiction.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on November 13, 2012 at 3:21 PM · Report this
Substitute Interstates, fire departments, the US Military or any other thing that benefits the citizenry as a whole, and you can say the same things - minus the point of a gun, WTF - and nobody is particularly worked up by it.

We all benefit if everyone is healthier.
Posted by Lymis on November 13, 2012 at 3:21 PM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 26
"And then you woke up in a puddle."
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 13, 2012 at 3:25 PM · Report this
McGee 27
I bet somewhere Paul Ryan is slapping his head at not working harder to court the objectivist McDonald's employee demographic.
Posted by McGee on November 13, 2012 at 3:34 PM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 28
@25 No, that's all at the point of gun, too. If you don't pay your taxes, the police may get involved. Quite rightly, too.

It bugs me when people say these guys want to go back to the 1950s. They want to go back to the 1920s.

The US did not have a small government in the 50s. The 30s gave us a semblance of a welfare state, and the 40s and 50s gave us a HUGE military and global role, and taxes sufficient to pay for it.

Added bonus: in the 20s, you could get away with lynching for sure. I think by the 50s, *some* states had started to frown on that.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on November 13, 2012 at 3:35 PM · Report this
@23 I'm totally with you. I wish the democrats would campaign more for simplifying the paperwork that business owners have to do. I think the level of regulation is fine. Just cut down on the paperwork.
Posted by CbytheSea on November 13, 2012 at 3:47 PM · Report this
treacle 30
The ranter, of course, will be paying for HIS OWN DAMN HEALTH INSURANCE thankyouverymuch. Fuck Obamacare so HARD that he'll just strike out on his own! so there.
Posted by treacle on November 13, 2012 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 31
It wouldn't be true Randian fantasy unless he proceeded to rape the hardworking and attractive young cashier, who initially puts up a fight, but eventually gives in to his raw individualism and falls in love with him.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on November 13, 2012 at 4:21 PM · Report this
Mike 32
It's blowhardy enough, but not nearly windbaggy enough for a Randian monologue.
Posted by Mike on November 13, 2012 at 4:22 PM · Report this
As the Internet has been known to say: Cool story, bro.
Posted by Morosoph on November 13, 2012 at 4:24 PM · Report this
Isn't McDonald's exempt from the healthcare law?
Posted by Spindles on November 13, 2012 at 4:37 PM · Report this
Dougsf 35
Sounds like he's conflated "freedom" with "doing anything that's required of me, ever." At its heart, the mandate is such a wonderfully conservative idea, but some people just want to scream "YOU'RE NOT MY MOM!" at the government.

Posted by Dougsf on November 13, 2012 at 4:39 PM · Report this
Michael of the Green 36
I'm confused. He hears someone saying positive things about Obamacare, and concludes that this is a Taker? How did he know this man was not a business owner, or something? And what makes him think that he's not already subsidizing those without insurance, to a greater degree than he will be (theoretically) when the Affordable Care Act goes into full effect? This reductive mentality of Randians and Paul-ians (?) always makes for the face-palm.
Posted by Michael of the Green on November 13, 2012 at 4:57 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 37
Did he rape someone afterwards? Can't be Randian without some hot rape scenes.
Posted by Max Solomon on November 13, 2012 at 4:59 PM · Report this
danewood 38
I think Daniel Quinn would argue that we're all takers.
Posted by danewood on November 13, 2012 at 5:09 PM · Report this
Posted by venomlash on November 13, 2012 at 5:15 PM · Report this
Given that I'm a gainfully employed taxpaying professional, I think I'm more likely to be subsidizing the health care of the Mcdonald 's employees then they are to be subsidizing mine. And given their low wages, I'm happy to to it. But I'm an Obama supporter who hates freedom.
Posted by Clayton on November 13, 2012 at 5:33 PM · Report this
Knat 41
"You know," the Taker said, as he walked out the door, "You sound just like Ayn Rand did, riiiiiight up to the second she realized she was sick."
Posted by Knat on November 13, 2012 at 5:41 PM · Report this
The Max 42
They really need to do Galt's Gulch: the Cable Reality TV Series. Get qualified Makers to walk away from their jobs and opt out of all the benefits of society and watch the fun.
Posted by The Max on November 13, 2012 at 5:52 PM · Report this
robotbutler 43
OMG!!! If you click on the link he fo realz claims that the silence in the McDonalds turned into a slow clap like a fucking 80's teen movie!!!
Posted by robotbutler on November 13, 2012 at 7:13 PM · Report this
Absolutely hilarious. I just wish Paul had mentioned that the scene includes a SLOW CLAP! That was the best part, for me.
Posted by jsr1138 on November 13, 2012 at 7:16 PM · Report this
Dear Penthouse: I never thought this would happen to me, but...
Posted by suddenlyorcas on November 13, 2012 at 9:38 PM · Report this
I'd say this guys fiction is way better than that dreadful POS he believes guides his economic life.

Oh, the story is still stupid, one-dimensional and boring but Ayn would have made the rant go on for 42 pages so this clowns brevity wins high marks
Posted by frankdawg on November 14, 2012 at 5:12 AM · Report this
Sophistry FTW.
Posted by ace9415 on November 14, 2012 at 5:38 AM · Report this
McJulie 48
@42 That would be the best reality TV ever.
Posted by McJulie on November 14, 2012 at 8:32 AM · Report this
This monologue didn't happen in the hood. Otherwise automatic beatdown for interrupting burger/shake time.
Posted by Patricia Kayden on November 14, 2012 at 8:38 AM · Report this
#45 nails it; that rant was Penthouse Letters for Randroids. Plus, it couldn't have been true because it was way too emotional and he didn't ask about anyone's premise.

But if anyone ever sees this happen, pull a Reverse Rockefeller and toss him some pocket change to offset his full share of the alleged-moocher subsidy: "Here's your eighteen cents, now piss off."
Posted by Che Guava on November 14, 2012 at 10:16 AM · Report this
venomlash 51
@42: I would watch the shit out of that.
Posted by venomlash on November 14, 2012 at 10:31 AM · Report this
Isn't health insurance itself rather collectivist? A bunch of people get together pay into a system which pools the risk and pays out according not in proportion to what people have payed in but in proportion to their need.

Furthermore, private insurance, in true Capitalistic spirit, skims a big percentage right off the top, dedicated not to the provision of healthcare but for the administration of the insurance itself and the profits of the owners of the insurance company. What rational economic actor would give a share of their hard earned dollars to mooching insurance company investors and owners? Wait, did I get the definition of moochers wrong? This is all so confusing...

A true Randian would never be so careless as to get sick or injured, moreover if they did require medical attention they'd simply pay for it self-sufficiently.
Posted by JAT on November 14, 2012 at 11:27 AM · Report this

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