Slog Comments
Here's a Coupon for Acting Like a Decent Human Fucking Being
1
Some opera houses enable you to switch on a rather bright libretto streaming along in a display on the back of the seat in front of you. I find that annoying as well.
2
What, exactly, happened to ushers in theaters? It doesn't take much, really, just one guy with a badge and a flashlight, who, after the audience is warned, stands in the back for a couple minutes and looks for the guy with the bright cellphone. When he sees one, he removes the offender from the theater. Sure, it's a momentary distraction, but I would venture to guess that most people are 1. happy to see the rules-scoffer get booted 2. grateful for some authority figure to say something so they don't have to and 3. distracted for a minute but then can enjoy the remainder of the movie in peace. Seriously, this isn't hard, and getting the theater experience to be pleasant for everyone should be a goal of theater owners, otherwise, why not just watch it at home?
3
Much like real projectionists, movie theaters haven't had real ushers for years. Cost-cutting, doncha' know.
4
Who goes to Big Name movie theaters to watch movies anymore?
The last time I was at a major theater, it was full of parents who let their brats run wild while they chatted with each other and teens who texted and threw stuff the whole time. That was ages ago. I can't imagine it's gotten any better.
I mean, if that's cool with people, great, but I'll pass. If people want to yap on their phones at one of those "theaters" I could hardly care less.
The last time I was at a major theater, it was full of parents who let their brats run wild while they chatted with each other and teens who texted and threw stuff the whole time. That was ages ago. I can't imagine it's gotten any better.
I mean, if that's cool with people, great, but I'll pass. If people want to yap on their phones at one of those "theaters" I could hardly care less.
5
@4
What movies are you seeing? The rare movies I see in the theater are generally watched by quiet old people. I purposefully avoid Disney movies and the like.
What movies are you seeing? The rare movies I see in the theater are generally watched by quiet old people. I purposefully avoid Disney movies and the like.
6
Theaters make the most money on teenagers and young "adults"...not exactly the demographic group best known for being considerate about phone etiquette. If they cracked down on phones, they'd lose their best customers.
Us old farts who go see a couple of art films a year are not exactly keeping them in business you know.
Us old farts who go see a couple of art films a year are not exactly keeping them in business you know.
7
The only theater movies that sell are:
1) Vampire and zombie. For teens who can't drive yet.
2) Cartoons. For parents to take kids to on Saturday.
3) IMAX Thrillers. Loud equivalents of Disney eTicket rides like Skyfall.
Everything else is for home.
1) Vampire and zombie. For teens who can't drive yet.
2) Cartoons. For parents to take kids to on Saturday.
3) IMAX Thrillers. Loud equivalents of Disney eTicket rides like Skyfall.
Everything else is for home.
8
I went to see the first Lord of the Rings movie in theaters about three weeks after it opened, and these two girls were in the front row gossiping about Britney Spears and talking on their phones, and so this huge, fat nerd with a bushy beard finally gets up and bellows at them:
"If you want to talk about Britney fucking Spears, "Crossroads" is playing in the next theater!"
Before stomping over to them, taking the one cell phone and smashing it on the ground. The girls literally ran out of the theater. I expected an usher with some cops to come in about twenty minutes later, but it never happened.
It was the best nerd rage and telling off of an asshole I had ever seen. I will remember it fondly on my death bed someday.
"If you want to talk about Britney fucking Spears, "Crossroads" is playing in the next theater!"
Before stomping over to them, taking the one cell phone and smashing it on the ground. The girls literally ran out of the theater. I expected an usher with some cops to come in about twenty minutes later, but it never happened.
It was the best nerd rage and telling off of an asshole I had ever seen. I will remember it fondly on my death bed someday.
9
@ 1, that's a heck of a lot easier to ignore, if you try. (It's also easier to read, compared to houses where it's superimposed over the stage, unless you're back in the nosebleeds and can't really see the stage anyway.)
@ 4, never see movies on opening weekend, especially Pixar movies. Wait for the crowds to die down.
My worst experience was seeing the "version you've never seen" of The Exorcist when it was given wide release in 2000. I made the mistake of going to the Cinerama at 9:00 or 10:00 on night it was released, when all the kids who grew up on shit like "Scream" were there. Constant talking, laughing at things that weren't funny (except for a doctor's suggestion that Regan needed Ritalin, which really was funny), kicking the seats, sold out... it was hell. Say what you will about little kids. Teens are a million times worse.
@ 4, never see movies on opening weekend, especially Pixar movies. Wait for the crowds to die down.
My worst experience was seeing the "version you've never seen" of The Exorcist when it was given wide release in 2000. I made the mistake of going to the Cinerama at 9:00 or 10:00 on night it was released, when all the kids who grew up on shit like "Scream" were there. Constant talking, laughing at things that weren't funny (except for a doctor's suggestion that Regan needed Ritalin, which really was funny), kicking the seats, sold out... it was hell. Say what you will about little kids. Teens are a million times worse.
10
I'd totally go see movies at the Alamo Drafthouse if it were nearby.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2lJ…
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC2lJ…
11
Whaaaaa... What a bunch of whiners. I go see all types of movies. Indies, foreign and blockbusters... The experience is fine... I'm never bothered. If someone is talking I ask them to please be quiet, and that's that. Rarely do I ever see phones flashing,andt some indie or foreign movies if somebody doesnt smell so good, i move. No big deal. don't get all the whining. And elitist crap... Movie houses continue to be full and enjoyable, cinerama, Harvard Exit, Egyptian even the AMC downtown... All great... I saw Lincoln at a sold out show no prob, same with Skyfall....
12
What is it with people playing with their phones until the very moment they are requested to turn them off in the movie theatre? I see this even at the Grand Illusion Cinema. What is it about having a pocket-sized communication device that gives people the entitlement to be distracted and discourteous?
14
I actually enjoy a nice raucous, chatty crowd in a movie theater, particularly for a blockbuster.
I'm glad that the home entertainment system is bringing an end to the aberrant period in American history where movie theaters were supposed to be yet another silent, reverent public space. We've already got plenty of libraries and churches, if you really need that sort of atmosphere when you're taking in entertainment shoulder to shoulder with the lumpen masses.
I'm glad that the home entertainment system is bringing an end to the aberrant period in American history where movie theaters were supposed to be yet another silent, reverent public space. We've already got plenty of libraries and churches, if you really need that sort of atmosphere when you're taking in entertainment shoulder to shoulder with the lumpen masses.
15
How about they just turn off their phones like normal people? I go to the movies pretty frequently, and rarely are there people that have their phone out texting away. On the other hand, there are always those people that show up 5 minutes into the movie and ask you-who-got-there-on-time-to-get-good-seats to move down and accommodate their late asses. Um how about fuck you.
16
I just don't think the assholes who believe their little data stream is worth more than the enjoyment of every other human being in a movie theater are going to have their solipsistic hearts turned by the promise of fifty cents off a large popcorn.
Please turn down your tiny little glowing screens, and in exchange you can have this huge tub of popcorn to rustle around in and munch and crunch and munchmunch rustle rustle CRUNCH CRUNCHCRUNCH through the entire movie. I'm sure that won't distract anyone.
Please turn down your tiny little glowing screens, and in exchange you can have this huge tub of popcorn to rustle around in and munch and crunch and munchmunch rustle rustle CRUNCH CRUNCHCRUNCH through the entire movie. I'm sure that won't distract anyone.
17
@12 Wait, you're bitching about people using their phones when the movie hasn't even started yet? Not even the previews..?
Oh, I'm sorry- was the thought of someone texting in a fully lit theater (while people are still filing in) distracting you from the trivia on screen? Don't worry- the trivia answer is "Tom Hanks". You're welcome.
Oh, I'm sorry- was the thought of someone texting in a fully lit theater (while people are still filing in) distracting you from the trivia on screen? Don't worry- the trivia answer is "Tom Hanks". You're welcome.
18
I had a friend who was completely self absorbed and had no problem texting throughout Sherlock Holmes 2, so I started punching him in the arm every time he turned it on... he finally got the hint and sat in the lobby for the last 20 minutes of the movie because apparently texting was more important than the movie he paid for. The point is that some people are just too oblivious to realize they're being an obnoxious asshole until you make a point to show them. (and maybe monetary incentives is the answer, who knows)
19
I wish theatre (all kinds) would use jammers. If you're too busy/on call/important to turn your phone off for 2 hours, maybe you should not see a movie that day. Then the jammers can cover the people who forgot to turn theirs off, or have a misbehaving phone that you think you turned off and then psyches you out and restarts, and is not on silent (shakin my fist at my asshole old phone).
21
This is actually about getting your personal information. It has nothing to do with dimming your screen at the right time or whatever. Also please don't give those types of controls over your phone to a random theater when every single phone type device in existence has a silent mode and if you're extra special an airplane mode. You came to watch a movie, you're more than welcomed to play with your phone in the lobby until your eyes bleed, leave the theater alone.
22
We recently met a guy who kept checking his phone right next to me, and when I asked him to stop (prefaced with "I'm sorry, but"), he did, then said, "I have to check it because I have someone in the hospital." Oh yeah? Maybe you shouldn't be at the movies. I bet that person feels super special right now.
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