That's not to say those things aren't real either. Nor that realness should matter the way we make it. The whole dichotomoy of going "things are real" so we have to acknowledge them and respect them or things are not real "so we can treat them like crap" is a strange politic. It's a hangover from a struggle for legitimacy that needn't have ever been framed in those terms. It's succumbing to something called the reification of sexuality.