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1
What about the everything in moderation option?
Posted by j.lee on January 24, 2013 at 4:16 PM · Report this
very bad homo 2
They are almost always eye-rollingly stupid.
Posted by very bad homo on January 24, 2013 at 4:29 PM · Report this
Bub 3
Can we have a separate Slog post that features all of Goldy's excised puns?
Posted by Bub on January 24, 2013 at 4:31 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 5
Let's get rid of punts instead.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 24, 2013 at 4:43 PM · Report this
6
A pun is a bloody rare medium well done
Posted by bradl on January 24, 2013 at 4:47 PM · Report this
7
When I applied for employment at the ACLU some years ago, my would-be supervisor asked me if I liked puns. I said I did if they had powdered sugar on them. I think that's why I got the job.
Posted by Neal http://www.nealstarkman.com on January 24, 2013 at 4:51 PM · Report this
8
I can BEARly stand them!
Posted by Ruke on January 24, 2013 at 4:53 PM · Report this
originalcinner 9
I like puns and their trailer trash cousin, the double entendre. "Hur hur, he said 'Sequim'".
Posted by originalcinner on January 24, 2013 at 4:57 PM · Report this
biffp 10
The Pate of Huns? I imagine they are odd shaped.
Posted by biffp on January 24, 2013 at 5:01 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 11
i'm for puns.
Posted by mr. herriman on January 24, 2013 at 5:02 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 12
* but clever ones, not the ones that get used all the time. example: "panda-monium!" on every. single. video of a panda doing something silly. STOP IT.
Posted by mr. herriman on January 24, 2013 at 5:04 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 13
Half of Asia is ascended from Puns.
Posted by Will in Seattle http://www.facebook.com/WillSeattle on January 24, 2013 at 5:05 PM · Report this
raku 14
Reading your posts is a constant slog.
Posted by raku on January 24, 2013 at 5:06 PM · Report this
raku 15
Goldy is precious, but his gun posts are way off target.
Posted by raku on January 24, 2013 at 5:09 PM · Report this
raku 16
Still better than Cienna, who's almost a yellow journalist. She dug her own hole on women's issues.

(REALLY REACHING)
Posted by raku on January 24, 2013 at 5:14 PM · Report this
Dougsf 17
First, I'm not getting Maine-ly Nails.

Second, I've never heard a pun from someone thinking their clever. The New York Post, Groucho Marx, every frozen yogurt business ever—I think they're all pretty aware of the ridiculousness they have sewn. Point me to a person that feels genuinely clever for having thought of a pun, and I will condemn thee.

Third, portmanteaus are the new puns, and they're just as terrible/great.
Posted by Dougsf on January 24, 2013 at 5:19 PM · Report this
mr. herriman 18
among my personal favorites: there's a fried chicken place in NYC called "pluck you."
Posted by mr. herriman on January 24, 2013 at 5:22 PM · Report this
Simone 19
"He who would pun would pick a pocket"
Posted by Simone on January 24, 2013 at 5:30 PM · Report this
rob! 20
Quality counts—the full quote is "A man who could make SO VILE a pun would not scruple to pick a pocket."

(emphasis mine)
Posted by rob! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZBdUceCL5U on January 24, 2013 at 5:35 PM · Report this
Goldy 21
Ha-ha, Paul! Once again I have been proven to be a man of the people!

I think Paul Constant's elitist hatred of puns must come from a lifetime of being tortured by puns on his name—that's what comes from having a homophone for a first name and a common word for the last. Whereas every time somebody tries to pun on "David Goldstein," it just comes out sounding anti-Semitic.
Posted by Goldy on January 24, 2013 at 5:46 PM · Report this
Ziggity 22
They say puns are the lowest form of humor. Which is true - indeed, they're the very foundation of humor.
Posted by Ziggity on January 24, 2013 at 5:50 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 23
The poll choices are too binary.

I enjoy a good pun. The problem is that I have to listen to dozens of bad puns for every rare good pun. The hit ratio for good/bad puns is terribly low, and sometimes I'm not sure if it is worth it at all.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on January 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM · Report this
McBomber 24
Quality matters. "Maine-ly Nails?" Ugh. "Big bottom's got me out of my mind / how can I leave this behind?" Genius.
Posted by McBomber on January 24, 2013 at 5:58 PM · Report this
Fnarf 25
The only puns I find acceptable are the names of hair salons, which are the highest form of human expression ever devised -- Shear Madness, Hair's Looking At You Kid, Combing Attractions, Curl Up and Dye, etc. Especially if they have a yellow plastic dimensional sign with a head or two on it, and double especially if the male head has a booshy seventies mustache.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on January 24, 2013 at 6:03 PM · Report this
McBomber 26
@25, the reminds me of the geometry title I once spotted at the library: Here's Looking at Euclid.
Posted by McBomber on January 24, 2013 at 6:14 PM · Report this
fletc3her 27
Puns are a staple of newspaper headlines. The Stranger doesn't fare too bad today, but I do see the headline "Green Pizza" on an article about Pagliacci.
Posted by fletc3her on January 24, 2013 at 6:17 PM · Report this
28
So to paraphrase, puns are a constant irritation.
Posted by omniart on January 24, 2013 at 6:21 PM · Report this
McGee 29
"The pun is the lowest form of humor. Who said that?"

"Probably somebody who was sick of hearing them."
Posted by McGee on January 24, 2013 at 6:40 PM · Report this
30
Google this: "seattle times 'a whale of a'" -- and see how many times they have used the same lazy pun in headlines.
Posted by yuiop on January 24, 2013 at 7:02 PM · Report this
biffp 31
The Seattle Times isn't worth mine. Is that a pun?
Posted by biffp on January 24, 2013 at 7:08 PM · Report this
McBomber 32
Paul asserts that there is no motivation to use puns in this city, but the comments argue that there is plenty of will in Seattle.
Posted by McBomber on January 24, 2013 at 7:10 PM · Report this
33
It depends on the pun. If I haven't heard it before it's delightful. If I'm heard it a million times, *groan*.
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on January 24, 2013 at 7:21 PM · Report this
34
The only puns I can abide are ones made by my dad, and that's only because he's not a native speaker of English. His delight in them is cute somehow. All other puns must die.
Posted by Prettybetsy on January 24, 2013 at 7:32 PM · Report this
35
Good puns are good (see Shakespeare), but too often the bad ones are accompanied by "(pun intended)" or "(pun not intended)"--as in "see how clever I am". If you make a good pun kiss it and send it into the world, without pointing out to readers how clever you are.
Posted by crone on January 24, 2013 at 7:44 PM · Report this
36
"Growing up in Maine, I lost count of how many businesses called themselves Maine-ly Hair or Maine-ly Nails."

The Blues Brothers and "Curl Up and Dye". Hilarious. This Maine-ly pun you mention, however, humorless. At the very least, I'd expect hair salons to go with Maine's Main Mane Managers. Alliteration is the new puntification.
Posted by stating the obvious on January 24, 2013 at 7:51 PM · Report this
sperifera 37
Suck it pun-haters!
Posted by sperifera on January 24, 2013 at 8:39 PM · Report this
beatgrl 38
Yes, I would also like to read Goldy's excised puns and then decide. I may change my mind now that @24 has reminded me of such a pun masterpiece which is still fresh 28 years on.
Posted by beatgrl on January 24, 2013 at 8:46 PM · Report this
Goldy 39
@25 And laundromats. I used to frequent a laundromat in Brooklyn called "Bleach House." I appreciated the literary reference.
Posted by Goldy on January 24, 2013 at 8:52 PM · Report this
40
The original displeasure for puns, especially in the great PCW, is what has endeared them to us. We are the hipster word-ies.
Posted by fatasian on January 24, 2013 at 9:18 PM · Report this
Ernie1 41
@25 I used to have to walk past "Scissor's Palace" on lower QA every day on the way to work. It was like nails on a chalkboard every time.
Posted by Ernie1 on January 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 42
Why are you punishing us like this?

#10

That's a spoonerism.
Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on January 24, 2013 at 9:52 PM · Report this
runswithnailclippers 43
My feeling on this is that you can tune a guitar, but you can't tuna fish.
Posted by runswithnailclippers on January 24, 2013 at 10:01 PM · Report this
sanguisuga 44
@26 - I literally laughed out loud. That was great. :)
Posted by sanguisuga on January 24, 2013 at 10:12 PM · Report this
this guy I know in Spokane 45
@26 is pretty much the only non-terrible pun I have heard in many years. Nevertheless, it will be irritating if I ever hear it again.
Posted by this guy I know in Spokane on January 24, 2013 at 11:07 PM · Report this
46
What about all the wacky pet places? Muttley Crew Cuts, the Barka Lounge, the Dogfather, etc.
Posted by Totalpukoid on January 24, 2013 at 11:21 PM · Report this
seatackled 47
@26
That's a good angle.
Posted by seatackled on January 24, 2013 at 11:48 PM · Report this
orino 48
Is What the Pho' in Rainier Valley still in business?
Posted by orino http://www.scootinoldskool.com on January 24, 2013 at 11:51 PM · Report this
49
@12 Tell me about it... it's pun-demonium!
Posted by madcap on January 25, 2013 at 12:34 AM · Report this
50
Regarding hair salons: the root of the problem is that their task is split between having a catchy name and finding one that hasn't already been taken.

Paul, it's a shame that you've allowed such irritants to adversely color your judgment.
Posted by madcap on January 25, 2013 at 12:58 AM · Report this
mr. herriman 51
Fnarf @ 25: There's one in Queens called Bangs of new York.

Also, remember when Indiana won the NCAA title and the Seattle Times front page read, "HOOSIER DADDY?" That was good stuff.
Posted by mr. herriman on January 25, 2013 at 1:35 AM · Report this
Aurora Erratic 52
I used to enjoy puns until Dear Prudie's tortured, forced, and unfunny uses of the device finally showed me why they are so despised.
Posted by Aurora Erratic http://www.finemesspottery.com on January 25, 2013 at 4:30 AM · Report this
53
The Simpsons will forever win the hair salon pun contest with "Turn Your Head and Coif".
Posted by TenrSinger on January 25, 2013 at 7:08 AM · Report this
Noadi 54
I love a good pun. One of my friends in college would do themed punning for entire conversations. He once kept up talking in bird puns for a good 2 hours. Some of them were lame but the dedication and creativity to keep it going made it absolutely hilarious. The problem is that most people who pun aren't that creative.
Posted by Noadi http://noadi.net on January 25, 2013 at 8:38 AM · Report this
MacCrocodile 55
@26 - Thank you. If I hadn't read that, I would have regretted it. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow...

@25 - On The Simpsons (and other shows), I always watch for business names in the background. My favorite so far has been Something Wicker This Way Comes.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on January 25, 2013 at 8:47 AM · Report this
treacle 56
Puns keep the mind alive, they are mental exercise.
Similiar to @54, Tree-based puns are particularly fertile ground for that sort of challenge, imho.
Posted by treacle on January 25, 2013 at 10:08 AM · Report this
57
It's "Huns" you moron, it's huns!

They hate the Huns.

Geez, this guy is soooo douchey....
Posted by sgt_doom on January 25, 2013 at 10:44 AM · Report this
seatackled 58
@55

I liked "Pool Sharks -where you're our chum." That was the Rear Window episode where Bart broke his leg and thought Flanders had murdered Maude.
Posted by seatackled on January 25, 2013 at 12:13 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 59
@58 - And the opening sequence of Bob's Burgers always has a pun for the business name next door and the exterminator van.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on January 25, 2013 at 3:51 PM · Report this
60
@48 I prefer Pho King Restaurant in Tacoma: http://www.yelp.com/biz/pho-king-tacoma
Posted by capicola on January 25, 2013 at 5:00 PM · Report this
DickDave 61
Pho Dat in Smokey Point always gets a chuckle out of me. Sometimes a chortle.
Posted by DickDave on January 25, 2013 at 5:11 PM · Report this
McBomber 62
@47, you are so right.
Posted by McBomber on January 25, 2013 at 6:13 PM · Report this
lolorhone 63
My favorite pun is from Hedwig and the Angry Inch: "I had just been dismissed from University after delivering a brilliant lecture on the aggressive influence of German philosophy on rock 'n' roll entitled 'You, Kant, Always Get What You Want.'" This is another way of saying good puns should be very well considered, lest you end up with a hair salon called Fringe Benefits.
Posted by lolorhone on January 25, 2013 at 10:05 PM · Report this
64
thai restaurants always seem to have decent puns:
Thai One On
Thaiphoon
the now defunct Thaiku
Thairish
En Thai Sing
Thai Noon
Appethaising
Posted by j.lee on January 26, 2013 at 8:03 PM · Report this

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