Slog Comments
SL Letter of the Day: Dark Secrets
1
What a waste of a letter. Why write to an advice columnist just to say, "I know, I know, I should totally do X. Look at me not doing X! How crazy stupid am I?"
5
"So what gives? He's a very attractive guy and he can get many girls—why won't he leave me alone?"
Because he doesn't have to? Because you say yes? Because why stop at one girl when he can have you and probably other girls? It's not really rocket science, dear.
Because he doesn't have to? Because you say yes? Because why stop at one girl when he can have you and probably other girls? It's not really rocket science, dear.
6
LW, I think that idea of seeing a therapist is a good one. Sure, take all Dan's advice, but there seems to be something else you'll still have to deal w/: a self-destructive streak perhaps? The only thing is to shop around, and make sure your therapist is kink-friendly.
7
Yikes. It'd be nice to know how this one turned out. Hopefully well after she gave him the heave-ho.
8
"why won't he leave me alone" has to be the question of the ages. A quick wikipedia check of "Sutton's law" might be in order.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutton%27s_…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sutton%27s_…
9
Anonymous let me give you a taste of what's going to be written about you in the news in the near future if you don't get your head out of your ass already - "32 yr old AB charged with murdering 26 yr old ex-GF and 28 yr old XY who was ex-GFs current BF, AB is accused of shooting ex-GF and XY at ex-GF's residence after an altercation. ex-GF was declared dead at the scene. XY died 2 days later from injuries suffered during the incident. Police stated they had been called to residence several times in the past 2 years"
10
I do this often but without the stalking or the keys thing or what ever. It's more like, wham, bam, thank you ma'am and I've never found it to be anything but healthy. I don't really get off on the stalking, but if a lady tells me to smack her around in the bedroom, I wouldn't hesitate to oblige.
13
There is no girl. It read to me as a fake letter, from a man, about an older man. Getting to the end, where he's supposedly "a female in my mid 20's", I just smelled the bullshit even more strongly. So many, many men experience their fantasies as this kind of pseudo forced bullshit.
Yes, a woman could be in this situation. However, as a woman, I know that finding a man who wants to "dominate" you and force you to give him head is like shooting fish in a barrel. You must have never fucked a man if you really think that meeting a man into pushing a girl around in bed is a rarity.
If this *is* real, she needs to move, and she knows what to do. Leave your place, inform your new neighbors and coworkers that you have an unbalanced ex, and start calling the cops when you see his car, think you see his car, or get any kind of contact. The more data the police have about his unwanted contact, the stronger your case is.
Yes, a woman could be in this situation. However, as a woman, I know that finding a man who wants to "dominate" you and force you to give him head is like shooting fish in a barrel. You must have never fucked a man if you really think that meeting a man into pushing a girl around in bed is a rarity.
If this *is* real, she needs to move, and she knows what to do. Leave your place, inform your new neighbors and coworkers that you have an unbalanced ex, and start calling the cops when you see his car, think you see his car, or get any kind of contact. The more data the police have about his unwanted contact, the stronger your case is.
14
Nope, that's not "shit frosting on an otherwise hot cake." This guy is shit clear through, and desperately needs (okay, needed, four years ago) to get his head beat in with a baseball bat.
On the other hand, how much ya wanna bet one of the reasons she and boyfriend broke up is because Asshole kept coming around and Letter Writer wouldn't put a stop to it?
On the other hand, how much ya wanna bet one of the reasons she and boyfriend broke up is because Asshole kept coming around and Letter Writer wouldn't put a stop to it?
15
@10: This is way more than a lifestyle BDSM scenario.
@14: But also probably because she's expressing this in other ways that she's not revealing here. This isn't going to be the only thing "off", it's far more immersive than just her private fantasies.
@14: But also probably because she's expressing this in other ways that she's not revealing here. This isn't going to be the only thing "off", it's far more immersive than just her private fantasies.
16
If she didn't end up dead, I'd be surprised. That is what the stalking lunatics do, more often than not. I ached for this girl, reading her letter, and cringed over people on here beating her up. Mid-20's is a baby, and we all do stupid idiot things, but when it comes to crazed violent types, it's plain terrifying, and too often deadly. Here's to hoping she made it out safe.
If she didn't end up dead, I'd be surprised. That is what the stalking lunatics do, more often than not. I ached for this girl, reading her letter, and cringed over people on here beating her up. Mid-20's is a baby, and we all do stupid idiot things, but when it comes to crazed violent types, it's plain terrifying, and too often deadly. Here's to hoping she made it out safe.
17
@13, you have your head up your ass. As a woman I can say you don't know what turns "women" on. You can only speak to what turns you on, so don't speak for the rest of us. Some of us like being dominated in bed while passionately dislike being stalked, threatened, and/or raped.
Also, newsflash, a lot of abused women DON'T know what to do about their situations, they feel trapped, and find themselves in a vicious cycle of wanting to tell people their situation and feeling like they are "blowing it out of proportion" or some variant of self-shaming and self-devaluation.
So fuck you.
Also, newsflash, a lot of abused women DON'T know what to do about their situations, they feel trapped, and find themselves in a vicious cycle of wanting to tell people their situation and feeling like they are "blowing it out of proportion" or some variant of self-shaming and self-devaluation.
So fuck you.
18
Ya, I too second the doubt on 20's female, cuz it struck me that way, but regardless...
It's not easy to know what to do, even for most people in any kind of contact with sociopaths - who are any good at it. Even posing as friend/colleague/etc, once they target you, it is going to be pure hell if you're not very smart about how you get away.
I detected a guy in just 2 dates by finally having a subliminal flash/intuition occur to me that he could poison the food. (Never happened before. Just heed your warnings.) Nothing was wrong up til then...professional nice guy colleague & human rights lawyer (I verified creds). Everyone in the community loves him!
So I just became a debbie-downer date real quicklike. He left moments later...then the crazzzy started. But it was the most f*ed-up evil NeuroLinguisticProgramming (I studied linguistics, easier to pick up on) attempts to get me to go along with a note or phone call, stalking, intimidation, you have no idea. He got just SICK and would not go away. The whole Dark Triad checklist. He still teaches across from where I live after he took over my class & students (squeezed me out of my job). I let him think he won or whatever. Just NO CONTACT!
A little research and let me just say it's darker than you think and not what you want from those fantasies. It's hot - so that you can enjoy it right? Find a better hot. No Contact with psycho.
It's not easy to know what to do, even for most people in any kind of contact with sociopaths - who are any good at it. Even posing as friend/colleague/etc, once they target you, it is going to be pure hell if you're not very smart about how you get away.
I detected a guy in just 2 dates by finally having a subliminal flash/intuition occur to me that he could poison the food. (Never happened before. Just heed your warnings.) Nothing was wrong up til then...professional nice guy colleague & human rights lawyer (I verified creds). Everyone in the community loves him!
So I just became a debbie-downer date real quicklike. He left moments later...then the crazzzy started. But it was the most f*ed-up evil NeuroLinguisticProgramming (I studied linguistics, easier to pick up on) attempts to get me to go along with a note or phone call, stalking, intimidation, you have no idea. He got just SICK and would not go away. The whole Dark Triad checklist. He still teaches across from where I live after he took over my class & students (squeezed me out of my job). I let him think he won or whatever. Just NO CONTACT!
A little research and let me just say it's darker than you think and not what you want from those fantasies. It's hot - so that you can enjoy it right? Find a better hot. No Contact with psycho.
Comments (18) RSS