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1
One of my Mexico City friends added a bit of strong chicken stock (or chicken stock paste) (although this might make your vegetarian friends angry).

One of my friends from Morelia adds a bit of milk.

Posted by Big Adventure Steve on February 3, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
Keister Button 2
Why do food writers think palette and palate are the same thing?
Posted by Keister Button on February 3, 2013 at 12:25 PM · Report this
3
I carmelize half the onion I put in with cayenne and cummin and butter. And other than that just the essential parts. The best thing you can do is have a fresh good avacado. Adding anything extra to guac can only make it less delicious. Also adding small diced tomatoes is good makes it lighter. But adding sour cream is nasty why would you want to do that!!
Posted by michael bell on February 3, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
McBomber 4
My preferred recipe requires only avocado, lime, garlic and salt. I've never been a fan of the chunky onion or salsa bits, though the roasted garlic and sour cream additions sound promising. Go Niners!
Posted by McBomber on February 3, 2013 at 12:40 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 5
Thanks for posting this Bethany.

@3, also adding mayonnaise - never!

Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on February 3, 2013 at 12:44 PM · Report this
6
NO CILANTRO. For people, like me, for whom cilantro tastes like soap due to our genetic superiority/inferiority, cilantro ruins anything it touches. Have a wee bowl of the chopped evil garnish on the table and cilantro lovers can sprinkle it on their food.
Posted by Chicago Fan on February 3, 2013 at 12:54 PM · Report this
7
I highly recommend this Academy Award nominated way: http://youtu.be/FQMO6vjmkyI
Posted by zonod on February 3, 2013 at 1:02 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 8
You don't have the proper clearance for the real guacamole secrets.

You will have to make do with this.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on February 3, 2013 at 1:09 PM · Report this
MacCrocodile 9
Dammit, @7.
Posted by MacCrocodile http://maccrocodile.com/ on February 3, 2013 at 1:10 PM · Report this
Cornichon 10
A couple of years ago, the Avocado Growers Council (or whatever it was called) ran a promotional campaign that called avocados "hand-grown." (Read the post on Cornichon here. Totally absurd.
Posted by Cornichon http://cornichon.org on February 3, 2013 at 1:15 PM · Report this
11
people who don't like cilantro can get fucked
Posted by Reader01 on February 3, 2013 at 1:20 PM · Report this
12
I was unaware that there were other ways to cut an avocado. What the hell are you people doing, just lopping off pieces willy nilly? Trying to peel it first?
Posted by tired and true on February 3, 2013 at 1:26 PM · Report this
13
6: my friend has that weird cilantro soap taste thing too. i like guacamole kept simple too and usually just mashed up with a fork. i do like to let it sit for a little while before eating it though in order to get the lemon or lime taste really inside the avocado mush. a little orange or lime soda has yielded good results too btw.
Posted by tim koch on February 3, 2013 at 1:35 PM · Report this
14
The lime and salt are absolutely key. I do not like the onion idea and never use it. I like just some finely chopped tomato rather than using salsa (because you then introduce a lot of other flavors from whatever is in the salsa).

A shake or two of your favorite hot sauce is also good. (But no mayo and no sour cream.)
Posted by westello on February 3, 2013 at 1:39 PM · Report this
stinkbug 15
What do style guidelines say about using quotes when the search didn't include quotes?

You didn't do a google search for "guacamole secrets", you searched for guacamole secrets (no quotes). Would a search for "guacamole secrets" (with quotes) be referred to as "'guacamole secrets'"? In that case then I guess you did search for "guacamole secrets".

btw, if you do a search for "guacamole secrets" (with quotes), the top result is your post.
Posted by stinkbug on February 3, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this
levide 16
Lime goes in salsa, lemon in guac.
Posted by levide on February 3, 2013 at 1:56 PM · Report this
17
Okay, don't be grossed out, but if you want to make a less-fatty guacamole, substitute mashed edamame for about 1/2 the avocado. (ducks)
Posted by Luckier on February 3, 2013 at 2:02 PM · Report this
Hernandez 18
@6 I only recently learned about this subset of people who all think cilantro tastes like soap. I think I first saw someone mention it on Slog. I guess I've just been insulated from the world of garnish intolerance.

This year we have it in its own little bowl.
Posted by Hernandez http://hernandezlist.blogspot.com on February 3, 2013 at 2:08 PM · Report this
eclexia 19
Folks, please do not add diary to dishes that have been prepared dairy-free for generations without warning guests.

I'm sure guacamole tastes better with a dollop of sour cream. That's why you'll see the bowl of sour cream on the serving table next to the guacamole. However, at any decent sized gathering of people, at least one person will have milk issues. You will make them double over in pain and run for the bathroom an hour into the game.

Non-diary people know to politely ask when there's any doubt. "Say, did you put cheese in this? Oh, lovely, No, I'll just look at it from a distance, thanks." But we don't usually bother asking about dishes for which there is no possible chance of dairy.... nobody will suspect milk in your guacamole any more than they'd expect you to slip milk in their beer.
Posted by eclexia on February 3, 2013 at 2:11 PM · Report this
TVDinner 20
@17: You're one of those assholes who substitutes yogurt for mayonnaise in coleslaw, aren't you? Fucking Philistine.
Posted by TVDinner http:// on February 3, 2013 at 2:19 PM · Report this
Reverse Polarity 21
"premashed avocado"

Good grief. Is this next to the pre-chopped limes and tomatoes? If you're that short on time, just buy the fucking premade guacamole and be done with it.
Posted by Reverse Polarity on February 3, 2013 at 2:33 PM · Report this
22
My mom's thing is he makes the salsa in the processor and then makes the guacamole in the same blender. Less dishes and just enough added flavor.
Posted by spoons on February 3, 2013 at 2:44 PM · Report this
julie russell 23
Pimiento, Sal y Limon. Keep it simple.
Posted by julie russell http:// on February 3, 2013 at 2:44 PM · Report this
sperifera 24
I add finely minced tomato and sweet onion for texture. I also use a little rice vinegar in addition to lime, and a pinch or two of ground cumin in addition to the (non-iodized) salt.
Posted by sperifera on February 3, 2013 at 2:52 PM · Report this
COMTE 25
Vic Leverett was a costume designer in the WWU theatre dept. back in the 80's, 90's & 00's, who used to make what was commonly referred to by drama students as "crackamole". Although he would never reveal the exact recipe, through the process of repeated sampling and some independent experimentation, we came to the conclusion that it consisted of avocado, lime juice, a bit of salt - and cream cheese, blended using a food processor. It had a smooth, creamy texture and was absolutely irresistible, hence the name.
Posted by COMTE on February 3, 2013 at 3:18 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 26
Cucumber adds bulk without adding fat, and doesn't adversely affect flavor or texture.

My standard recipe (more or less):

For every 2 med size ripe avocados:
1/2 red onion, diced
1, jalapeño seeded and diced
1 Roma tomato, seeded and diced
1 cucumber, peeled, seeded, coarsely chopped
~2 Tbs chopped cilantro
Juice of 1-2 limes
Salt and pepper to taste

Combine everything but the avocados, let macerate 15 min to an hour. Add avocado right before serving, mixing with a fork. If you use a food processor, you are dead to me.
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on February 3, 2013 at 3:21 PM · Report this
27
Avocado (small cubes, mash gently with fork or potato masher), chopped onion, finely chopped serrano pepper, salt, fresh squeezed key lime juice (acidity!), cilantro on the side for people who don't like it. Finely chopped fresh garlic if you like. Proportions of each element to match your taste, but it should be a lot more avocado than add-ins.

Mix just "enough," don't overmix, don't blend. Lightly chunky is best for chips 'n' guac. Let it rest for a while before eating to let flavors blend a bit. Lay plastic wrap right on top of the guacamole to keep it from browning.

No salsa, no sour cream. All ingredients fresh, otherwise you're making dip, not guacamole, imo.
Posted by rainbird on February 3, 2013 at 3:25 PM · Report this
raku 28
Thank you #19. It's so bizarre that some people can't seem to eat anything without cow milk in it.
Posted by raku on February 3, 2013 at 3:42 PM · Report this
29
I like cumin and a bit of fresh moderately hot chile to be involved along with the avocado, onion, garlic, lime and salt. Dairy seems like a dumb thing to add to such a lovely rich fruit; it's not quite gilding the lily, because gilt is at least visible and I think sour cream would be invisible except in the total calorie count/fat content.
And I don't care whether it's smooth or chunky; it's kind of hard to fuck up avocado.
Posted by alight on February 3, 2013 at 3:43 PM · Report this
30
I'm a purist: avocados, lime, garlic and salt only. anything else gets in the way.
Posted by genevieve on February 3, 2013 at 4:12 PM · Report this
emor 31
1. Chop up half of a red onion
2. Chop up a couple on-the-vine tomatoes
3. mince some garlic
4. add some cumin
5. add some chopotle chili powder
6. add salt
7. chop up two or three avocados (using method outline in video...how on earth would anyone chop it up differently?)
8. freshly squeezed juice from one lime
8. add everything to the bowl
9. mash/stir gently with fork, aim for a 60/40 smooth to chunk ratio.
10. pop it in the fridge until guest arrive

I do this every time and people seem to like it. I would cilantro, but my wife hates it. A small sacrifice I guess.

All that other stuff -- dairy, seriously? -- sounds gross or unnecessary.

While bicycle camping I will buy a pint container of fresh salsa and an avocado at the end of the day. Chop up the 'cado, add to bowl with salsa, mash up with fork and enjoy with chips for a delicious post ride snack.
Posted by emor on February 3, 2013 at 4:24 PM · Report this
32
a fresh avocado
fresh garlic (a couple of cloves)
salt
pepper
sour cream to taste

Then the twist - try it with sturdy jalapeno potato chips (Tim's Cascade, Zapp's, Kettle) Sooooo dope.
Posted by avocado sauce on February 3, 2013 at 5:22 PM · Report this
Amy Kate Horn 33
The premashed (vacuum packed) avacado at QFC is legit. Just avacados. You get two packs--freeze one for later. It's by the precut fruit and sprouts in the produce cold case.
Posted by Amy Kate Horn on February 3, 2013 at 6:41 PM · Report this
mayor 34
Go to culinary school and quit Googling for shortcuts. Also, Sloggers aren't experts by any means.
Posted by mayor on February 3, 2013 at 8:15 PM · Report this
35
PURIST. Avocados, GREEN CHILES (jalapeno, Serrano, ancho or bell), lime salt... smooth or chunky... heat, sour and salt, to taste. Native Americans were eating this recipe when then conquistadors landed..;-D
Posted by pupuguru http://www.godsweed.org on February 3, 2013 at 9:02 PM · Report this
Fnarf 36
I put M&Ms in mine.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 3, 2013 at 9:15 PM · Report this
37
2-3 Avocados, 1/2 onion, 2 roma tomatos, 1 seeded jalapeno, then juice from a lime(+) and salt to taste.

Add cilantro because it's awesome and to cut down on the number of people who will eat it. More for you.
Posted by dirge on February 3, 2013 at 9:17 PM · Report this
sikandro 38
Lots of cumin, lots of garlic.
Posted by sikandro on February 3, 2013 at 10:07 PM · Report this
39
The best Guac I ever had was last spring at the Hotel Alpina in Mazamitla Jalisco. It's kinda like Leavenwoth in Mexico but not cheesy. They put an herb in the Guac that tasted a lot like Tarragon, probably was.
My Grandma Ursula used to put Tarragon in her Clam Chowder, unique & wonderful!
Posted by moveit on February 3, 2013 at 10:54 PM · Report this
josh 40
It sounds like the real secret is to use delicious avocados and very little else.
Posted by josh http://www.sciencevsromance.net on February 3, 2013 at 11:15 PM · Report this
Fnarf 41
@39, epazote. That's a weird thing to put in guacamole, but whatever floats your boat. I reserve it for beans and beans alone. You can buy it fresh at HT Market, 100th and Aurora.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 4, 2013 at 5:03 AM · Report this
42
I tried roasted garlic, and it was good—maybe not SO MUCH BETTER that it's worth going out of your way for, but good.
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on February 4, 2013 at 8:58 AM · Report this
43
Avocados contain the healthiest fats you could possibly put in your body. There's no cause to try to create a 'reduced fat' guacamole.

For that matter, guacamole is a silly dish anyway. Sliced avocado with lime juice and a little salt. Why destroy the texture by mashing it up?
Posted by johnjjeeves on February 4, 2013 at 9:24 AM · Report this
Fnarf 44
I'm also a little surprised that this thread got to 42 comments without anyone mentioning tomatillo. Technically, I suppose avocado and roasted tomatillo isn't guacamole, but it's a delicious salsa. Just about everything goes better with tart tomatillo.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 4, 2013 at 9:26 AM · Report this
spaceapple 45
In addition to the usual ingredients, add a dash of tumeric and cumin. Boom!
Posted by spaceapple on February 4, 2013 at 10:38 AM · Report this
McGee 46
I've know many authentic 100% Mexican folks who have made guacamole with mayonnaise. Go figure. Guacamole is best with as few ingredients as possible. I prefer chillies, tomato, salt, lime, and avocado.

The green sauce with tomatillo and avocado is fantastic. Roast green tomatoes, tomatillo, green chillies, garlic. Blend roasted veggies with cilantro, avocado, salt, and a touch of sour cream. It isn't guacamole but it is great on Michoacan carnitas.
Posted by McGee on February 4, 2013 at 12:56 PM · Report this

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