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Oldest First Unregistered On Registered On Add a comment
Seriously. You womens don't have penii for a reason. Just lay back and accept your lot in life already.
Posted by NateMan on February 4, 2013 at 1:01 PM · Report this
I am confused. If a woman takes the man's role, why would she need birth control? I mean, how is she going to get pregnant while shoving that thing up his ass?
Posted by LML on February 4, 2013 at 1:04 PM · Report this
YakHerder 3
If this man seriously believes what he is saying, he lacks even an eighth-grader's basic understanding of human biology.
Posted by YakHerder on February 4, 2013 at 1:05 PM · Report this
That link should have been tagged NSFW.
Posted by bidab on February 4, 2013 at 1:07 PM · Report this
@2: Well you see, when a subby little bitch loves his Domme very much, he takes her giant black dong up his poopshooter, and Jesus's dad (the big beard in the sky, not the gardener) pitches his Deific little swimmers in the gaping hole left behind. Then the man becomes pregnant. It's the perfect virgin birth.
Posted by NateMan on February 4, 2013 at 1:07 PM · Report this
Oh for eff's sake. Those little dead blastocysts must be digging in pretty hard with their little bone claws to keep from getting flushed out once a month. (Sorry, I just saw Warm Bodies.)

Bit of hope, though? Worldwide number of children per woman averages to five. In the 1950s it was eight. We're getting a little better at this.
Posted by DRF on February 4, 2013 at 1:08 PM · Report this
Considering they are currently failing at restricting rights for a small subset of the population, I am not that worried about them succeeding at doing so for the vast majority of people.

Crazy people on the radio notwithstanding.
Posted by giffy on February 4, 2013 at 1:12 PM · Report this
Next they'll want to ban those baby graveyards known as Kleenex.
Posted by pox on February 4, 2013 at 1:12 PM · Report this
Timrrr 9
Because women on the pill don't have periods... or something.
Posted by Timrrr on February 4, 2013 at 1:17 PM · Report this
Zebes 10
It's okay. What really matters is their tiny little widdle itty bitty baby souls, which all go up to heaven, and Jesus weeps sadly and welcomes all the widdle iddle teeny weeny baby-baby angels into his arms, and there are so many and they're so so itsy-bitsy tiny he keeps them in jars and he just has so many big jars of widdle itsy baby angels lying around because there are just so many sinful women that aren't breeding properly these days.
Posted by Zebes on February 4, 2013 at 1:19 PM · Report this
Phoebe in Wallingford 11
Why don't the wives of these idiots inform them that birth control is also used to relieve very painful cramps, with nothing to do with stopping procreation? I'd love for them to spend days suffering with such cramps, as then the would realize it's a medical issue as well as a "birth control" issue.
Posted by Phoebe in Wallingford on February 4, 2013 at 1:20 PM · Report this
We could limit human population growth in order to conserve the Earth's finite resources. Or we could go on breeding like bunny rabbits while our fossil fuel based economy melts the polar ice caps and then fight a giant battle royale for control of our shrinking habitat. That would be fun to, don't you think?
Posted by Ken Mehlman on February 4, 2013 at 1:22 PM · Report this
That is some major woman fearing insecurity right there folks. I'll bet that if a female went up to him and yelled "BOO" he would faint dead away. Then piss himself. What a douchebag.
Posted by SeattleKim on February 4, 2013 at 1:22 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 14

Milk, milk, lemonade...
Posted by keshmeshi on February 4, 2013 at 1:23 PM · Report this
very bad homo 15
Do these men ever jerk off? Wouldn't that be mass murder, by the same logic? THINK OF ALL THE DEAD BABIES IN THAT WASTED SPERM!
Posted by very bad homo on February 4, 2013 at 1:30 PM · Report this
@15: Hell, think of all the dead babies when a women miscarriages - as happens oh so often before they even know they're pregnant. Or all those failed sperms that miss out on being the one to impregnate their womenfolk. It's a real tearjerker.
Posted by NateMan on February 4, 2013 at 1:49 PM · Report this
Arsenic7 17
@15: Everyone knows that the soul is only planted in the women's vagina by god when the sperm and the egg colide in holy union of the body (ovum) and spirit (sperm).
Posted by Arsenic7 on February 4, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this
Whoa, that means my uterus is hella goth.
Posted by JenV on February 4, 2013 at 2:13 PM · Report this
Fnarf 19
@11, those aren't cramps, ma'am. Those are the tiny little dead baby fingers digging into your, well, you know.
Posted by Fnarf on February 4, 2013 at 2:18 PM · Report this
@13 and 15 are right.

Is basic embryology too much to ask before people spout off?
Posted by IPJ on February 4, 2013 at 2:19 PM · Report this
Supreme Ruler Of The Universe 21
How about this...suppose instead of women's bodies we were talking about a species of tree in the rain forest which was loved by all, but growing so fast that it prevented the economy from expanding.

So one group of people say that we should inject the tree with a coal based drug that will reduce its numbers but may cause some plants complications. Let's call that group the conservatives.

Another group says that man should not interfere with nature and before anyone injects the trees with a drug, they will block access and if needed attack the doctors who want to get to the trees. Call these the liberals.


Ahhhh ooooggggaaa!!!!!

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on February 4, 2013 at 2:21 PM · Report this
originalcinner 22
Is Kevin Swanson a speaker of English as a second language? What the hell does "idea of what children does" even mean?
Posted by originalcinner on February 4, 2013 at 2:28 PM · Report this
Brooklyn Reader 23
How are we supposed to take these medieval priests of natural hell and damnation seriously when they so blatantly violate their own domain by using tools of the Devil's magic, like radio?
Posted by Brooklyn Reader on February 4, 2013 at 2:30 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 24
@10 No, dead babies go to hell because they weren't baptized. Hell is run by dead babies.
Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 4, 2013 at 2:31 PM · Report this
Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In 25
I don't believe this shit. It's the middle of the afternoon already & I *still* haven't gotten my roll! I'm a man, dammit! What a pathetic god He turned out to be. Can't even deliver rolls on time.

I'd even accept a bagel.
Posted by Some Old Nobodaddy Logged In on February 4, 2013 at 2:35 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 26
Crazy radio guy be crazy
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 4, 2013 at 2:35 PM · Report this
'the sky is falling! the sky is falling! ... THE SKY IS FALLING!!!'

Seriously, Republicans, what is it like to be so stupid you have to think about breathing?
Posted by happyhedonist on February 4, 2013 at 2:37 PM · Report this
Madskillz80 28
I've been referring to my womb as a graveyard for eggs for years. Hacks.
Posted by Madskillz80 on February 4, 2013 at 2:43 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 29
I think people are intentionally confusing stem cells, which are the result of any pregnancy, including the 2/3 that are NATURAL MISCARRIAGES AND NEVER WOULD COME TO TERM, with viable offspring.

Look, one of the sad myths is people, especially insane religious people, think that all pregnancies result in a viable live birth, and if they don't, it's "the woman's fault".

A lot of pregnancies die NATURALLY because of: stress (emotional, physical, chemical, environmental), diet, or flawed DNA.

Even if those could "be born" they'd live very very very short lives, and be very very very expensive to even get to the point of live birth. They'd almost all NEVER be able to reproduce. EVER.

Sorry that nobody tells you these things, but that's the cold hard science. Which I stripped of all the nice comfy long words to turn into what it is.
Posted by Will in Seattle on February 4, 2013 at 2:52 PM · Report this
originalcinner 30
I can only assume he's talking about hypothetical baby fingers, rather than real ones. The Pill prevents fertilization, so no babies there. These must be parable babies. Ifs-and-ands-pots-and-pans babies. Imaginary babies to go with his imaginary sky fairy.
Posted by originalcinner on February 4, 2013 at 2:56 PM · Report this
lolorhone 31
So they're just making shit up now? Like Scientology except not as credible or organized? I'm just trying to identify the methodology here. What the fuck.
Posted by lolorhone on February 4, 2013 at 3:10 PM · Report this
pastanaut 32
I have to say that reading the crackpot article made me depressed, but reading all of your awesome comments here made me and my fetus graveyard feel much better.
Posted by pastanaut on February 4, 2013 at 3:33 PM · Report this
LaSargenta 33
You know these wackos are looking to hasten the Endtimes, right?
Posted by LaSargenta on February 4, 2013 at 3:38 PM · Report this
venomlash 34
Ironically, certain kinds of contraception work by PREVENTING embryos from implanting into the uterine wall (endometrium). This guy probably heard how human reproductive works in high school health class and is now drawing vaguely on his memories from that age to try and push his bizarre and demented ideas on others.
Posted by venomlash on February 4, 2013 at 3:39 PM · Report this
@34 Actually, studies indicate the pill and plan B probably do not prevent implantation, though it's possible that they might. They prevent ovulation so that the ovum is never fertilized in the first place. Plan B also thickens cervical mucus.
Posted by DRF on February 4, 2013 at 3:53 PM · Report this

These guys are children. What is sad, and frightening, is that they not only believe the twisted msogynist shit they peddle, but they fucking have LISTENERS.

Posted by Velvetbabe on February 4, 2013 at 4:05 PM · Report this
venomlash 37
@35: A quick check reveals that while most hormonal contraceptives are likely to prevent implantation, they're even way more likely to prevent fertilization. So it's a moot point; the embryo would be unable to implant, but there isn't even an embryo.
Posted by venomlash on February 4, 2013 at 4:21 PM · Report this
So the Republicans reproductive policies are based on Aristotelean biology! It's little homunuculi littering the wombs of those/us pill-poppin' hoors!
And of course let us remember all of the millions of lost homuncks spilled on the fields of kleenex.
Posted by Lalala on February 4, 2013 at 4:38 PM · Report this
Will in Seattle 39
@38 and remember, they believed that women had half a soul. Stupid.
Posted by Will in Seattle on February 4, 2013 at 4:53 PM · Report this
Does anybody know if there is a germ of scientific reality that he's misunderstanding here, or if it's all just made up from thin air? I've only got a layman's understanding of how reproduction works, but it's a fairly well informed layman's understanding - I've had two kids, read all the books - and this doesn't make even a little bit of sense to me. I can't even imagine what he's perverting and getting wrong to come up with this.
Posted by agony on February 4, 2013 at 5:20 PM · Report this
femwanderluster 41
@16 "when a women miscarriages"

When a woman experiences a miscarriage, she miscarries her pregnancy. Verb versus noun and whatnot.

I'd not normally nitpick, but language and semantics are precarious and super important in this debate about whether or not women are humans.

The more you know *star swoosh*
Posted by femwanderluster on February 4, 2013 at 5:51 PM · Report this
Ugh, this guy is also probably one of those weirdos who thinks women in labor shouldn't get painkillers because God said they should suffer.
Posted by ridia on February 4, 2013 at 6:30 PM · Report this

Technically, dead, unbaptized babies go to Limbo - oh, wait. Limbo got cancelled didn't it? So, what happened to all the gazillions of dead, unbaptized babies that WERE in Limbo, but got kicked out when The Church decided Limbo wasn't an, um, actual place? Did they all go to Hell? Purgatory?

This religion stuff is SO confusing!
Posted by COMTE on February 4, 2013 at 6:43 PM · Report this
@20 - Yes, basic embryology and biology is too much to ask of him because @34, he never went to high school - he was homeschooled. He is currently a powerful player in the Evangelical homeschooling movement and he wants all the little children to be as badly educated and thoroughly indoctrinated into Evangelical Christianity as he was.

@22 - That was a just a minor grammatical error; I can assure you that he's a native and fluent speaker of both English and Christian Patriarchy bullshit.
Posted by ignatz ratzkywatzky on February 4, 2013 at 7:26 PM · Report this
curtisp 45
If only birth-control pills were more widely used in the 60's. Girl groups would have had the most amazing rhythm sections.
Posted by curtisp on February 4, 2013 at 7:34 PM · Report this
Holy crap. You first have to OVULATE to even make pregnancy possible. This moron has no idea how reproduction occurs and the role that birth control plays in preventing ovulation in the first place.

There is only an embryo if an egg and lucky sperm meet.

There is only a fetus if there is a uterine lining for the embryo to attach too.

If there is an embryo, a woman's hormones shift all to hell and there is no menstruation. If there is menstruation it means there was NO FUCKING meet up between an egg and a sperm. Woosh Good bye uterine lining and absolutely everything that anything could attach too.

I have no doubt that this bozo and his misguided, stupid cohort really do believe that the holy road for women is to bear children.

In Catholic belief, the idea is that you are just a stupid human and you shouldn't interfere with God's plan to produce children. That includes men masturbating. The idea is that you are supposed to give your fate over to God. Which is sort of weird, considering that in Catholic teachings, you don't need a stinking man to get pregnant and have a know like the birth of Jesus. Obviously both crazy protestants and Catholics believe that God is all powerful. The only way that birth control could possibly be a threat to God's plan is if these people don't really think God is all powerful.

So it really does come down to this: They hate women.
Posted by lauramae on February 4, 2013 at 7:57 PM · Report this
@40 - Well, there is such a thing as a calcified fetus (AKA "stone baby") being retained indefinitely in a woman's body after its demise. There's a Wikipedia article about it. It's very rare, though, and only happens with ectopic pregnancies, so nothing to do with wombs or birth control pills. But if there is a tiny bit of truth that this guy's bullshit is inspired by, maybe that's it.
Posted by rhymeswithlibrarian on February 4, 2013 at 8:15 PM · Report this
Pope Peabrain 48
@43 They went to hell. That's what an all merciful god would want. Little babies with pitchforks. Burning forever!
Posted by Pope Peabrain on February 5, 2013 at 4:45 AM · Report this
@41: Quite right, and apologies. It's what happens when I type after a very long work day.
Posted by NateMan on February 5, 2013 at 5:10 AM · Report this
Reverend Tap 50
@43: Wasn't Limbo supposed to be the uppermost (and least shitty) portion of Hell? I think that's how it went in the Inferno, anyway. If so, hey, problem solved, they're still in Hell, they just moved downstairs a bit.
Posted by Reverend Tap on February 5, 2013 at 12:10 PM · Report this
venomlash 51
@42: If that's the case, all men should earn a living through hard labor in the fields, plowing, seeding, weeding, and harvesting. That's Adam's curse for being trollbait, Eve gets childbirth instead. (The serpent gets enmity with humans for its part in the prank.)
Posted by venomlash on February 5, 2013 at 1:31 PM · Report this
Bonefish 52
"Little babies?" Really? Are they swaddled in miniature blankets, too? Are they delivered to the womb in this tiny form by miniature storks? At least other anti-sexers are attempting to be taken seriously.
Posted by Bonefish on February 5, 2013 at 1:50 PM · Report this
sissoucat 53
His chonies, bed linen, socks, hankies, hands are a graveyard of billions of little babies. I hope he prays for their lost souls everyday. Ohh, maybe that's why he won't ever do his laundry ! Out of respect for dead babies cemetaries !

@51 Right on.
Posted by sissoucat on February 7, 2013 at 2:47 AM · Report this

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