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nocutename 1
And I wonder why I can't meet a nice guy I like . . .
Posted by nocutename on February 9, 2013 at 10:47 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 2
What a sicko!

I, for one, will only dress up and role-play as a raccoon... nothing else...any takers? It's not pretty...
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 9, 2013 at 10:55 AM · Report this
Ophian 3
@2, yeah baby, knock over that trash can...?
Posted by Ophian on February 9, 2013 at 11:06 AM · Report this
4
As a vegan I do swallow. Hey it's cruelty free!
Posted by frogangel on February 9, 2013 at 11:17 AM · Report this
5
It's hard to be non-judgmental. Are some people just not interested in a relationship with a human? Kink is one thing, but most of a real relationship consists mostly of pretty mundane stuff. Dinner, breakfast, vacuuming, washing, tv, garden, work, socialising, etc. How do you achieve that with a butt plug up your butt and a tail strapped to you as you crawl around?
Posted by JJinAus on February 9, 2013 at 11:25 AM · Report this
nocutename 6
I wonder why the butt plug? No real dog wears/has one.
Posted by nocutename on February 9, 2013 at 11:30 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 7
@6 So the tail looks real/attached....no tape needed? And you don't need a poop bag when taking your dog for a walk? Good for the owner, bad for the pet...

@3 Ohhhh yeah...it gets real kinky...
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 9, 2013 at 11:42 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 8
And by kinky..I mean this...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRLjd6ve3…
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 9, 2013 at 11:53 AM · Report this
Posted by sirkowski http://www.missdynamite.com on February 9, 2013 at 11:53 AM · Report this
ScienceNerd 10
This is amazing, I've been wondering about the same thing as the LW!
Posted by ScienceNerd http://stanichium.tumblr.com/ on February 9, 2013 at 12:35 PM · Report this
Ophian 11
@8, I'll be in my bunk.
Posted by Ophian on February 9, 2013 at 12:42 PM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 12
I think I am pretty open minded, but sometimes I think these people just have too much time on their hands. Maybe take up a hobby or two?
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on February 9, 2013 at 12:51 PM · Report this
scary tyler moore 13
this'll cause some raised eyebrows at the dog park.
Posted by scary tyler moore http://pushymcshove.blogspot.com/ on February 9, 2013 at 1:13 PM · Report this
very bad homo 14
I don't understand the question.
Posted by very bad homo on February 9, 2013 at 1:16 PM · Report this
15
@8 I loved that show as a kid!
Posted by Spike1382 on February 9, 2013 at 1:26 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 16
...oh and as a Raccoon sub, I would be looking for a Cyril Sneer dom.... With perhaps an appropriately shaped nose/face mounted dildo?
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 9, 2013 at 1:53 PM · Report this
17
onway ethay ownday owlay: ogay earsbay!
Posted by tim koch on February 9, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this
18
As long as I don't have to vacuum and can pee on the floor, I am available.
Posted by Tor on February 9, 2013 at 2:00 PM · Report this
Rotten666 19
"The whole point is that, when done, there is a dog shaped like a human, but the shape is the only thing that isn't dog about my pet. "

That might be the most batshit insane sentence I have ever read.
Posted by Rotten666 on February 9, 2013 at 2:09 PM · Report this
Ophian 20
@16, great, now Cyril is NSFW.
Posted by Ophian on February 9, 2013 at 2:51 PM · Report this
21

Why not a human centipede?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IX8fKLjC_…

Posted by Supreme Ruler Of The Universe http://_ on February 9, 2013 at 3:00 PM · Report this
22
@14: That's because there wasn't actually a question posed by the LW. I suppose the implied question is, "Will I ever find someone who agrees to this?"

I think I speak for most of us when I say, "I hope not."
Posted by MLM on February 9, 2013 at 3:02 PM · Report this
eclexia 23
$5 says this letter was typed with one hand.

So I've seen guys into pup play, on both sides. I talked to the sub after, who told me about the head trip it sent him on. They might do it fun for one night a week, for a few hours a night.

Every day, all day? Reality is such a boner-killer.

The people who really do live in 24-7 dom-sub situations? The number of props used and the complexity is so minimal, it borders on Ozzy and Harriot.

Posted by eclexia on February 9, 2013 at 3:19 PM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 24
@20 ha, ha..it's true!
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 9, 2013 at 3:23 PM · Report this
25
If the safe word is the only word that the "human pet" is allowed to speak, it doesn't sound like a very useful safe word.
Posted by lulubelle on February 9, 2013 at 3:39 PM · Report this
milemarker 26
Somewhere, a room full of college Republicans are screaming with joy that Dan actually sounded like he took them seriously.
Posted by milemarker on February 9, 2013 at 4:35 PM · Report this
27
Well, readers have been asking for more weird kinky stuff, and less heterosexual "normal" relationship stuff. So I guess Dan is obliging.
Posted by mother of two on February 9, 2013 at 4:45 PM · Report this
28
Reminded me of this:
Good Neighbour
Posted by Aaron CM on February 9, 2013 at 5:59 PM · Report this
29
this is why we can't have nice things.

like Traditional Heterosexual Marriage.

or a functional society.

Posted by the end is near on February 9, 2013 at 6:03 PM · Report this
30
The 24-7 aspect of this masturbatory fantasy is unrealizable of course, but that's the sort of enhancement that lets the LW still achieve orgasm, despite using this fantasy for many years of jerk-off sessions.

By now he's perhaps added magical science enhancements into the scenario, and his fantasy pet is transforming into an even more doggy-like creature.

Posted by Functional Atheist on February 9, 2013 at 8:32 PM · Report this
31
I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?

This person is probably dangerous and needs psychiatric help, at least!

Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this.
Posted by Falcor on February 9, 2013 at 9:51 PM · Report this
doloresdaphne 32
My earnest answer to the Letter writer is this;

Human pet games in BDSM land, with people dressing and acting like dogs is nothing new under the sun, but you sound different to the run of the mill doggy play fetishists.

If in your mind, your "human pet" is so close to being a dog that you feel like sex with it borders on bestiality, then you are engaging in imaginary bestiality, if nothing else, and if that gets you off, then perhaps you have an inclination towards bestiality. Furthermore, this act may reinforce that tendency, and take you closer to the point of becoming a risk to pets, if it so happens that you, on top of being a (real) dog fetishist, lack the self restraint to stop you from abusing real dogs which you might have in your care.

Nothing in your letter suggests you would. But if in your fantasy world, you are having sex with a dog, and the idea of having sex with an animal which is incapable of consent doesn't horrify you and kill your boner, then how do you propose to bring back that empathy for innocent animals that you blocked when you were (in your mind) fucking your (human) dog?

Posted by doloresdaphne on February 9, 2013 at 11:23 PM · Report this
33
just be a responsible pet owner and remember to spay/neuter.
Posted by fubarista on February 10, 2013 at 5:00 AM · Report this
34
Who DOESN'T swallow? I mean once you are at the point where someone is cumming in your mouth, how rude would it be to go spit it out?
Posted by fetish on February 10, 2013 at 5:44 AM · Report this
Rotten666 35
@34

Every girlfriend I had in high school.
Posted by Rotten666 on February 10, 2013 at 7:09 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 36
It was all fine play up until "The pet becomes so completely a dog that I wonder if it is bestiality to have sex with my dog/human pet." and it breaks into "FAAAAAAAAKE" territory.

@2: I'd be worried about you attacking my puppy and giving me rabies.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 10, 2013 at 8:35 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 37
@36 Good news! I've had all my shots... And I only attack when someone interupts my hockey game watching!
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 10, 2013 at 11:15 AM · Report this
seandr 38
I'm game if you'll be my pet kitty.
Posted by seandr on February 10, 2013 at 1:53 PM · Report this
39
Lol @33.

Just more proof that everyone's sex life is hilariously ridiculous except your own.
Posted by Corydon on February 10, 2013 at 4:02 PM · Report this
40

@31 "I don't understand why Dan would post something as sick as this?"

High entertainment value ...
Posted by Robby on February 11, 2013 at 3:53 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 41
@31: "Dan is just giving ammo to right-wing jesus-cultists and other theocrats for posting sick shit like this."

Watching a man and another man hold hands is enough to throw them into a red-faced titty fit, who cares? They'll find something to hate regardless of what Dan posts. Consensual/weird posts and possible pranks aren't going to give them any more ammo than what Gomorrah they already have in mind.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 12, 2013 at 9:57 AM · Report this
42
If your still looking I'm very interested in having a master...Contact me at moldenough@gmail.com
Posted by Lifeiscruel on March 10, 2014 at 4:16 PM · Report this

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