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Allyn 1
Aren't they close enough to just swim for shore? Turn the tow lines to a fun zipline ride and send them on their merry way.
Posted by Allyn on February 14, 2013 at 1:40 PM · Report this
Fnarf 2
And best of all, when they finally make it to shore, they'll be in ALABAMA! [shudder]
Posted by Fnarf on February 14, 2013 at 1:41 PM · Report this
Granny Smith 3
Carnival isn't really a "luxury" brand. This is more of a cheap-resort-turned-gulag story.
Posted by Granny Smith on February 14, 2013 at 1:51 PM · Report this
I don't get cruises: you're basically are trapped in a multi-story building on water, with all sorts of "fun" and food supplied.

Like a mall on water, only you can't get to the water to swim or fish or whatever, because you're three stories up.

If you're travelling to a place, you spend little time in that place and most trapped in the multi-storied mall of "fun" on water.

Like I said, I don't get cruising.

Posted by judybrowni on February 14, 2013 at 1:56 PM · Report this
I think they saw the terminus of their miser, no? Or at least it seemed that way.
Posted by catsnbanjos on February 14, 2013 at 2:06 PM · Report this
I don't understand why they aren't evacuated by a helicopter or hydrofoil? Cost? Even cruise ship passengers deserve better making them stay on board for a week without adequate accomidations.
Posted by wl on February 14, 2013 at 2:12 PM · Report this
rob! 7
Every new generation of cruise ships stacks more decks of cabins on an increasingly top-heavy hull filled with blue velvet and smoky mirrors and crystal chandeliers, a 1970's Liberace aesthetic that apparently screams "luxury" to the cruising classes. They seem to have fewer back-up systems and fewer emergency supplies, relying on satellite weather forecasts and sober crews to keep them out of trouble. And they can be registered in a country with weak regulations.

If you like that sort of thing, book a midwinter week or two in Las Vegas. You'll save money, likely not be bedridden with a norovirus infection or hepatitis-A, and avoid the risk of capsizing entirely.
Posted by rob! on February 14, 2013 at 2:13 PM · Report this
Max Solomon 8
there wasn't a closer port to disembark the poor fuckers? tow them all the way across the Gulf to fucking ALABAMA? its a miracle cholera didn't break out.
Posted by Max Solomon on February 14, 2013 at 2:18 PM · Report this
very bad homo 9
It's like a Motel 6 on water.
Posted by very bad homo on February 14, 2013 at 2:25 PM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 10
I say we nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 14, 2013 at 2:39 PM · Report this
keshmeshi 11
My parents went on a small scale cruise years ago in the Mediterranean. Since the ports were relatively close together, they didn't spend that much time at sea, and the boat was small enough that they were able to swim. I don't recall all the stops they made, but they ventured from Italy to the former Yugoslavia to Greece and to Turkey. I would be thrilled to sign up for a cruise like that. A floating toilet in the Caribbean? Not so much.
Posted by keshmeshi on February 14, 2013 at 3:04 PM · Report this
Frank Blethen's vodka distiller 12
The Alabama finally has something worse than the last oil slick off its shore.
Posted by Frank Blethen's vodka distiller on February 14, 2013 at 3:25 PM · Report this
Sargon Bighorn 13
The passengers are having a hard time, the staff and crew are in hell right about now.
Posted by Sargon Bighorn on February 14, 2013 at 3:41 PM · Report this
How does Carnival stay in business? I mean, I haven't heard a good thing about a cruise in 10 years, and every story I can think of about Carnival is something about a mysterious outbreak of illness, threatening passengers who dressed in drag on a drag cruise with being put ashore, or some other vacation horror story (and always they can't possibly give a dime back to the people who they've trapped on their cruise from hell).
Posted by usagi on February 14, 2013 at 3:57 PM · Report this
Fnarf 15
@13, the staff, especially the below-decks staff (engine, cooks, etc.), are always in hell. It's slave labor. They get paid shit, are exempt from every country's labor laws, and can't get off at the ports or leave the ship for any reason.
Posted by Fnarf on February 14, 2013 at 4:15 PM · Report this
I cannot wait for the accounts of the passengers. I wonder if Carnival will try to make the passengers sign gag orders before they debark, a condition of their refunds. (Yeah, probably not legal, but when did that matter?)
Posted by Che Guava on February 14, 2013 at 4:23 PM · Report this
Clara T 17
I'm totally having multiple schadenfreude-gasms. Nearly passed out when the tow rope broke MMMMmmmMMMmmmMMMunnnggggmmmMMMunnnnggggoooooooOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted by Clara T on February 14, 2013 at 4:39 PM · Report this
@16 While Im sure Carnival would love too, its too late, many of the passengers now have cell signal and are calling family (and lawyers I imagine) and uploading video of the horror as fas as they can go
Posted by lone locust on February 14, 2013 at 4:58 PM · Report this
beatgrl 19
They are getting all their money back, plus (the last thing these people would ever want) a free cruise.
Posted by beatgrl on February 14, 2013 at 5:15 PM · Report this
@2 and others beat me to my comment about offloading in Alabama, but I still offer:

a) This the cruise they'll *really* remember
b) As awful as this experience was, it wasn't the Titanic
c) Now all of them know first-hand what the Katrina evacuees trapped in the Superdome experienced
Posted by Jared Bascomb on February 14, 2013 at 5:25 PM · Report this
lauramae 21
I really like "gulag-of-the-sea." What has to be even more torturous, once they get to port, it will take FIVE HOURS to get everyone off.

And yes, the idea of being stuck on a giant ship most of the time sounds like the worst vacation idea ever. I don't understand why people want to go on a cruise. Plus, these ships dump their crap in the water. Liquid waste, chemicals, all go in the water. Completely obscene industry for that alone.
Posted by lauramae on February 14, 2013 at 7:02 PM · Report this
My guess would be that Mobile's port was the closest deep-water harbor that could accommodate the ship on such short notice.

As bad as Alabama can be, I doubt those poor people care where they are put ashore.
Posted by Bugnroolet on February 15, 2013 at 7:24 AM · Report this

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