Slog Comments
SL Letter of the Day: Ruff Butt
2
Also, she should use a vibe on herself at the same time (in addition to all the other stuff Dan says). This is the only thing that has ever worked for me, but I've never seen Dan mention it before. Works like a charm!
3
Could be an allergic reaction to something in his spit. Or to something that was rubbed against her ass before he began licking.
Latex would be my first suspect. Lots of people have a mild latex allergy that doesn't manifest unless it gets rubbed against a mucus membrane. Does her ass feel like the tissue is swelling up during play?
Second/third guesses would be yeast and sugar. Many lubes contain sugar. It can hurt buttholes. His saliva may contain yeast, and she could have a yeast allergy.
After that, I got not nothing.
Latex would be my first suspect. Lots of people have a mild latex allergy that doesn't manifest unless it gets rubbed against a mucus membrane. Does her ass feel like the tissue is swelling up during play?
Second/third guesses would be yeast and sugar. Many lubes contain sugar. It can hurt buttholes. His saliva may contain yeast, and she could have a yeast allergy.
After that, I got not nothing.
4
Some people are allergic to plastics (or at least, to the stuff that's added to plastic). Silicone toys are a better bet than rubber or plastic. Also, steel (but much more expensive).
7
Ugh. What the hell does having a tiny frame have to do with not being able to take it up the butt? No, it's all about being able to relax and take your time.
My money is on she doesn't like anal. I'm crazy for the butt sex too, and I haven't met anyone who, if they weren't up for rimming, were still up for any other kind of butt sex.
My money is on she doesn't like anal. I'm crazy for the butt sex too, and I haven't met anyone who, if they weren't up for rimming, were still up for any other kind of butt sex.
10
What goes on in the mind to create these ideas? Mmmmm.... dancer... works out a lot... tight frame... yes... shrinks the butthole... ballet workout shrinks and shrinks the butthole tighter and tighter...because ballet! Seriously?
11
I find it hard to believe any woman enjoys rough and unlubricated anal, let alone several of them. I think maybe this guy has a long history of being told what he wants to hear.
12
@11 Absofuckingloutely. Dan strangely does not advise he try taking it rough and raw himself, just to get an idea of what he's asking for, because he does not seem to be exactly expert on the anatomy end of things. And if he's trying to get to rough and raw too fast, or has told her that's where he wants to go, I know that would make me damn nervous. Also how the hell has he gotten to the point of fucking her when it hurts her to take fingers up there. Hello? You are doing it wrong? Not supposed to hurt your s.o.'s ass while trying to make anal sex enjoyable for them? And if those other girls truly loved it that way let's just take a second and imagine how many of them were blasted drunk at the time - and incapable of feeling any pain. Lots of rough unlubricated anal can bring long term health risks (nerve damage/loss of function at the extreme end), and if he went too fast too soon he probably did tear her ass, and that can take months to years to heal (google image anal fissure letter writer, to see where you are taking this girl if you continue to hurt her to achieve your sexual goal). If she wasn't orgasming and loving and begging for finger play your dick should not have been anywhere near her ass because either - anal does not do it for her (anymore than taking it up your ass does it for you - I feel certain you'd have mentioned if you had) - or you are lousy at anal foreplay. I'm guessing you were lousy first, and now anal doesn't do anything for her. Your fault. Back up, take it up the ass yourself so you know the forces you are dealing with, and let her poor asshole heal before you, gorilla-like, tear it open again with your clumsy giant frat boy knuckles. P.S. Unless you were in the BDSM scene, it's unlikely you ever came across more than one girl who liked raw rough anal fucking, unless you were finding girls on Craigslist with that specific request (hint - they are rare). They were lying to you, and/or drunk/high. Especially for casual sex - what??? Yikes.
More...
13
"I very particularly loved rough, unlubricated anal sex with women who enjoyed same.
...
we just can't make it happen."
I see a trend.
...
we just can't make it happen."
I see a trend.
14
I suspect @11 is right. I LOLd at the "where the fuck did you go to college?" line because I was thinking the same thing. Makes the letter sound fake, or maybe the guy was so "casual" that he didn't do repeats? I can't imagine the population of "tried receiving rough unlubed anal, would like repeat" population is high anywhere. I can imagine the "tried receiving unlubed anal because a guy asked, definitely not doing that again" population to be higher.
15
Also if they don't have a copy of "Anal Sex for Women" by Tristan Taraontino, they should get one and both read it immediately.
16
Fake. Ballerina = "small with a tight frame" has nothing to do with her anus. It's like suggesting small tight guys have small dicks. Often they have huge dicks. Like #12 said, he has no idea what he's demanding take place. I think this is a fake.
17
Dan you were way to easy on BWAA. Unlubricated anal sex, your just asking for trouble. Dan I am just shocked you didn't spell this out to him harshly complete with links to pictures of infected anuses. and then invite him to drop his ass on an unlubed dildo if he still doesn't understand.
Rough anal all good after your partner is well lubed, relaxed, opened and has had a chance to adjust to feeling your cock in there. Hit those marks go head bang away.
Some one needs to slap BWAA upside the head hard.
BWAA, you want to fuck her ass, rim her good, rim her deep, rim here for a long time (read that as twice as long as you think is needed, no 3 times as long since your a dumb ass) only then may you drench a finger, one finger, and try and gently work it into her ass. Then you are to to eat her pussy while massaging her prostate with your finger tip. After she comes, you say thank you for letting me pleasure you. Do that 3 or 4 times and maybe maybe you'll have earned the right to try fucking her ass.
Either that BWAA or bend over and let her ram a strap on up your unlubed boipussy you stupid straight fuck,
Rough anal all good after your partner is well lubed, relaxed, opened and has had a chance to adjust to feeling your cock in there. Hit those marks go head bang away.
Some one needs to slap BWAA upside the head hard.
BWAA, you want to fuck her ass, rim her good, rim her deep, rim here for a long time (read that as twice as long as you think is needed, no 3 times as long since your a dumb ass) only then may you drench a finger, one finger, and try and gently work it into her ass. Then you are to to eat her pussy while massaging her prostate with your finger tip. After she comes, you say thank you for letting me pleasure you. Do that 3 or 4 times and maybe maybe you'll have earned the right to try fucking her ass.
Either that BWAA or bend over and let her ram a strap on up your unlubed boipussy you stupid straight fuck,
19
@17 Since nowhere in the letter did the LW say his girlfriend was trans I think you might want to brush up on female anatomy if you think most women have a prostate.
21
@19 opps. Sorry I've had more practice with male anatomy. Thats what I get for posting after a few beers and not proof reading. But I'm sure you got my point.
23
@7 - I am totally not okay with rimming, but am okay with being anally fucked without lube. Of course, I also dislike oral sex in general. Ah, the trials and tribulations of being a masochist. You may need to widen (hahaha) your sample.
24
This is six years old, I wonder what's been doing since then...
Wait a minute. Paul Ryan? Is that you?
Wait a minute. Paul Ryan? Is that you?
25
@2 is correct, in my anecdotal experience. If she is using a vibrator (or getting herself off however she likes) it might make the sensation more enjoyable.
26
btw Dan: http://americablog.com/2013/02/hpv-epide…
Good time to tell people to use preventative contraception!
Good time to tell people to use preventative contraception!
27
Being a smaller person definitely makes for a smaller anus and rectum, at least in my experience with men. So I don't call fake like Sargon, BUT- totally agree that if BWAA has found women who like dry and rough anal, he's found the only ones on the planet. Sheesh.
Perhaps they (like men into anal bottoming) took a few minutes beforehand to lube themselves up? That's the ONLY way I can see anyone enjoying 'dry' anal sex.
Perhaps they (like men into anal bottoming) took a few minutes beforehand to lube themselves up? That's the ONLY way I can see anyone enjoying 'dry' anal sex.
28
I know this is boring but this one always seemed fake to me.
Yeah, yeah, I know--every letter is a potentially helpful teaching opportunity, so literal veracity is just a secondary consideration.
But multiple lady partners who were down with no-lube-rough-and-tumble-anal, AND he's now banging a ballerina? Riiiiiiight. To me it screams a dude who has never done anal, and is describing his masturbatory fantasies of anal.
Yeah, yeah, I know--every letter is a potentially helpful teaching opportunity, so literal veracity is just a secondary consideration.
But multiple lady partners who were down with no-lube-rough-and-tumble-anal, AND he's now banging a ballerina? Riiiiiiight. To me it screams a dude who has never done anal, and is describing his masturbatory fantasies of anal.
30
Well ... the first woman I dated who was into bum fun was also into unlubed -- though not rough -- bum fun. Also, I learned that there was a price: no bum fun for a while after unlubed bum fun.
It's possible that she's into it in principle, but can't get the image of his wild ass-ravaging days out of her head whenever he's trying to shoehorn his cock into her ass.
Maybe no cock for a while, just toys of her choosing, and she does the driving.
It's possible that she's into it in principle, but can't get the image of his wild ass-ravaging days out of her head whenever he's trying to shoehorn his cock into her ass.
Maybe no cock for a while, just toys of her choosing, and she does the driving.
35
@23: How do you even get a dick in (and out, and in) there without any lube or rimming? Are you just really good at relaxing the sphincter muscles? I'm legitimately curious about how it doesn't hurt the penetrating partner too, since even too-dry vaginal sex has previously been painful for my partner.
37
You're with somebody who can bounce a quarter off her belly/ass, can do the splits, put her ankles behind her ears, probably is light enough to hold up, and who knows what else (blow you while on-point in her toe-shoes?) and you're crabbing about not being able to go to brown-town right away.
I'm more insulted by your lack of creativity and appreciation than anything else. Like being handed the keys to a porche and being pissed that it doesn't do off-road well.
I'm more insulted by your lack of creativity and appreciation than anything else. Like being handed the keys to a porche and being pissed that it doesn't do off-road well.
38
I believe BWAA found the only woman in his town who likes it dry and rough TWICE. That makes the multiple he talks about.
39
As a professional (male) dancer who has slept with a handful of other professional (male) dancers, I'd like to point out to those saying, "Dude, you're fucking a ballerina!" that being a dancer does not necessarily make one good in bed. Yes, dancers tend to have good bodies, and those bodies tend to be flexible, but that gets old fast if the dancer you happen to be with is a terrible kisser, smells bad, just lays there during sex, etc. Sorry to destroy your fantasies...
40
LW forgot to mention he's a housecat & has a sandpaper tongue. That's why the rim jobs hurt, too.
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