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1
Definitely sensible advice especially if you only know one of them "in passing." Would be different if they were local, IMO.
Posted by Scribbles on February 19, 2013 at 4:14 PM · Report this
TheMisanthrope 2
Being a sub for a dom, and then wanting no penetrative sex...that would most definitely need to be discussed before hand. Otherwise, you may feel guilty about saying no in the middle of a scene, and then this leads to being called a cocktease, or worse it being considered part of the game leading to way more than you wanted.

Communication people. Please.
Posted by TheMisanthrope on February 19, 2013 at 4:20 PM · Report this
Hawke 3
Sorry for taking another unicorn off the market, folks.
Posted by Hawke http://facebook.com/thehawke on February 19, 2013 at 4:50 PM · Report this
Tim Horton 4
Dan, you just set back the male gay-straight alliance back a decade. How dare you kill this 30 something guy's chance to dominate a 3 some with a hot bi 20 something girl.

Easy for a gay guy to question the wisdom of a 3-some. This is as rude as Warren Buffet telling a welfare lottery winner to turn down the money becaue it doesn't always buy happiness.
Posted by Tim Horton on February 19, 2013 at 5:23 PM · Report this
tainte 5
oh this one is simple. schedule the trip when you know you'll be having yr period.

wait...GROSS.
Posted by tainte on February 19, 2013 at 5:25 PM · Report this
seandr 6
Seems to be a market for straight men with Dom skills. Hmmm.
Posted by seandr on February 19, 2013 at 5:42 PM · Report this
wingedkat 7
It sounds like a lot of pressure. If I had the money to spend, I'd take a chance on flying a sub out for a threesome... If I had the money for two round trips. The first, no pressure to see if it would work, the second for a hot weekend. See if they're up for that.
Posted by wingedkat on February 19, 2013 at 6:00 PM · Report this
8
@4: "This is as rude as Warren Buffet telling a welfare lottery winner to turn down the money becaue it doesn't always buy happiness."

OK, that made me laugh. Good one.
Posted by MLM on February 19, 2013 at 6:25 PM · Report this
9
Make sure you have enough money to get a hotel room if you need to, just in case the whole thing goes to shit. For the same reason, make sure that's a round ticket, and you've got it on you.

And then go. I took a lot of chances when I was young and hot, and I had a lot of good sex and good times. Secure your exit strategy, and then have some fun.
Posted by agony on February 19, 2013 at 6:34 PM · Report this
10
@2 She'll be good if she buys a gun once she lands - just in case.
Posted by cracked on February 19, 2013 at 6:36 PM · Report this
lolorhone 11
One should be specific about what you'll do and sure about what you want before you get in a cab, let alone on a plane.
Posted by lolorhone on February 19, 2013 at 7:09 PM · Report this
12
Take their plane ticket and pay for your own hotel room. Options and escape hatches are good.
Posted by Funky Monkey on February 19, 2013 at 7:31 PM · Report this
13
Oops, agony already went there...
Posted by Funky Monkey on February 19, 2013 at 7:33 PM · Report this
14
I think the LW should trust her gut. Her gut is telling her that she doesn't know these people. Even the one who is her friend, it's not clear if they've met more than just once last summer, and are really online friends. Her gut is also telling her that it's quid pro quo:
>>She offered to fly me out, put me up, and show me a good time in exchange for hopping into bed.>>

Not: She offered to fly me out, put me up, and show me a good time in hopes that I'll choose to fuck them.
Posted by EricaP on February 19, 2013 at 7:44 PM · Report this
15
This one has a weird feel about it of a modern version of Emma Woodhouse dispensing largesse to Harriet Smith. I'd be much less disinclined if the LW reminded me of Miss Bates instead.
Posted by vennominon on February 19, 2013 at 9:18 PM · Report this
Ballard Pimp 16
My God! Unicorns exist! Call the Interior Dept. for listing as an endangered species!
Posted by Ballard Pimp on February 19, 2013 at 9:49 PM · Report this
17
What difference does it make? They're just going to use each other, lie to each other, and treat each other like shit. Any physical enjoyment derived will be brief and quickly forgotten. That's going to happen whether you stay or go; that's what people do to each other. There's not much point trying to protect yourself from the inevitable.
Posted by Chase on February 20, 2013 at 1:33 AM · Report this
18
@17: You're right, there is no point trying to protect yourself, either from pain or happiness. Sorry for your bad experiences.
Posted by misspiggy on February 20, 2013 at 3:44 AM · Report this
Antoinette 19
I think you should go! As long as the penetration rules are clear to everyone involved. Remember, they want *you* - so you have some control here. Underwhelming now, but maybe he will surprise you, who knows? You already know you want to play with her, so here's your chance. Rarely is anything ever truly perfect, but I think if you go into it with the right attitude you're sure to have a great time.
And... if it gets weird, so what? You're 23.
Posted by Antoinette on February 20, 2013 at 8:07 AM · Report this
20
If LW wants to experience being the 3rd in a MFF 3-some, it seems like she could find a lot of local action. Call me cynical and jaded, but the letter raises some danger flags to me. Boyfriend wants a 3-some, flight, etc. IN EXCHANGE for hopping into bed. There's no one in LA for them to hook up with? How well does she know this friend, who is ten years older? Where/how did they meet?
Posted by Barbara on February 20, 2013 at 9:54 AM · Report this
Nyckname 21
Have him send you a Postal Money Order and you buy the ticket.

If it's on his card, he can cancel the return trip.
Posted by Nyckname on February 20, 2013 at 11:06 AM · Report this
22
@ 18: I probably shouldn't post when I'm bitter.

And I guess there's some good news in this story - you can be "underwhelming" and *still* get to have a threesome with two sexy bi girls, as long as you're a Dom. And can pay for a plane ticket.
Posted by Chase on February 20, 2013 at 2:58 PM · Report this
Corylea 23
I was in a situation a bit like this one, and it turned out horribly. That doesn't mean that the LW's will, but she should think about all of the possibilities. In my case, the woman got a crush on me, which freaked out her husband, so he had a jealous freak-out and turned on me.

People may THINK they're going to have casual sex, but it's awfully easy for your emotions to get involved, once you're sexing with someone. The LW needs to explore not just what she'll do in the event of various physical outcomes but also what she'll do in the event of various emotional outcomes.
Posted by Corylea http://corylea.com/ on February 21, 2013 at 11:25 AM · Report this

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