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1
"Kicking a food addiction can really take it out of you." Is it too soon to accredit that fakequote to Karen Carpenter?
Posted by kate r http://katerothwell.blogspot.com on February 28, 2013 at 11:33 AM · Report this
2
"Food dependency" has a really low recovery rate. Almost zero percent.
Posted by John Totten on February 28, 2013 at 11:39 AM · Report this
pfffter 3
HOW RUDE! HOW VERY DARE THEY!
Posted by pfffter on February 28, 2013 at 11:39 AM · Report this
treacle 4
Hi, my name is treacle, and I'm a food addict. I am ashamed to say that I eat food every day, so much so that I have become completely dependent on food to stay alive. I've tried many, many times to quit, but I become weak and always return to the safety of the habit of eating food. I ask for your strength and support here today to help me abstain from this terrible addiction, and finally find the freedom and release of starvation. *sob!*
Posted by treacle on February 28, 2013 at 11:40 AM · Report this
Pick1 5
God, I know right!? If I could just get over my Oxygen dependency, life would be fucking fantastic. I'd be so damn healthy.
Posted by Pick1 on February 28, 2013 at 11:43 AM · Report this
bleedingheartlibertarian 6
Food is addictive! Get hooked on our glorified sugar water instead!
Posted by bleedingheartlibertarian on February 28, 2013 at 11:44 AM · Report this
Urgutha Forka 7
A company that sells juice wants everyone to drink more juice.

Shocking.
Posted by Urgutha Forka on February 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM · Report this
very bad homo 8
I'm pretty sure this is the definition of "Butthurt".
Posted by very bad homo on February 28, 2013 at 11:46 AM · Report this
10
i woulda done it! i love a good juice fast, and i do them rather a lot. $200 worth of free juice and i can stop abusing my loud, crazy, prehistoric jack lalaine powerjuicer every morning? LOTTERY.
Posted by Adrian Ryan on February 28, 2013 at 11:50 AM · Report this
yelahneb 11
"High jinks"?
Posted by yelahneb http://www.strangebutharmless.com on February 28, 2013 at 11:50 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 12
"high jinks"!!

It might just be the food high I'm riding pretty hard right now...but this is hilarious! Now excuse me while I do up a "bowl" of food to get me through my afternoon at work... 12:00 right? Ya, you know what I'm talking about!
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 28, 2013 at 11:50 AM · Report this
yelahneb 13
@12 Jinx! :)
Posted by yelahneb http://www.strangebutharmless.com on February 28, 2013 at 11:51 AM · Report this
ScrawnyKayaker 14
@1 So glad I did not have anything in my mouth.

@5 And you could be the world's greatest free-diver. Damn this reality shit.
Posted by ScrawnyKayaker on February 28, 2013 at 11:51 AM · Report this
ArtBasketSara 15
@13 Boom! *fist bump* :D
Posted by ArtBasketSara on February 28, 2013 at 12:12 PM · Report this
16
And these people want me to buy their product? Yikes.
Posted by GermanSausage on February 28, 2013 at 12:12 PM · Report this
Fnarf 17
I'll bet that feckless Minard gets cranky when she gives up breathing, too. Come on, you people, TOUGHEN UP. I recommend my new "walk around with a piece of glass in your shoe for a week" diet.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 28, 2013 at 12:19 PM · Report this
18
So... the promised miraculous benefits occur only if you already firmly believe in the promised miraculous benefits?

Let me guess: the active ingredient is labratory-grade placebo, right?
Posted by TechBear on February 28, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
jezbian 19
hahah this reminds me of a section from "The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe" (written by Jane Wagner & performed by Lily Tomlin) which is said by Agnes Angst, a character who is a "rebellious" teenager who sometimes lives with her grandparents:

On the radio, I hear the weatherman say, "The air today is unacceptable. People with breathing problems should not go out."

I wanted to shout, "What's unacceptable is that the *air* is unacceptable!"
I think: Wow, breathing is a bio-hazard.

If we don't take in air every few minutes, we die, but the air we are taking in is killing us.

I rush to my Behavior Modification Center, hoping they can help me cut down on my habit of *breathing.*

In the cubicle next to mine I hear: "Do you want to stop *drinking*?"
"No."
"Do you want to stop *smoking*?"
"No."
"Do you want to stop *overeating*?"
"No. I want to stop caring that I eat and drink and smoke too much!"
Posted by jezbian on February 28, 2013 at 12:22 PM · Report this
20
I had a big cup of my coffee bean juice. I feel great and full of energy!
Posted by Senor Guy on February 28, 2013 at 12:25 PM · Report this
Sandiai 21
Apparently, a food addiction is all about fat coating your tongue,


Anna’s avocado taste [sic] so good because a week of not eating combined with the “burn” of astringent green juice (with or without STI’s)* actually cleans fat off the tongue.



*Not sure what "STI" refers to in this context.
Posted by Sandiai on February 28, 2013 at 12:27 PM · Report this
--MC 22
So you tried it once and found it's all right for kicks, but now you're addicted to entertaining the public with high jinks -- you're a foo-oood addict! foo-oo-oood addict!
Posted by --MC on February 28, 2013 at 12:27 PM · Report this
23
My food addiction is under control, more or less ... now if I could only break that nasty habit of getting high on jinks!
Posted by RonK, Seattle on February 28, 2013 at 12:52 PM · Report this
mikethehammer 24
Reminds me of that wonderful old Onion commentary, "I'm Like a Choco-holic... for Booze!"
Posted by mikethehammer on February 28, 2013 at 12:53 PM · Report this
eclexia 25
@1 is on target. These people are selling an eating disorder. Please start calling "cleanses" what they are: a form of binge-purging.
Posted by eclexia on February 28, 2013 at 1:03 PM · Report this
26
Are you sure these juice pushers aren't Hubbardites? (scientologists)

Perhaps if you just followed their plan, you could achieve "clear" juice status, which sounds a lot like water, because it is.
Posted by Sir Vic on February 28, 2013 at 1:11 PM · Report this
raku 27
You really showed that small local organic sustainable company! Next time you should spit on children waiting in line at the food bank and liveblog it!
Posted by raku on February 28, 2013 at 1:20 PM · Report this
pfffter 28
@11 There are so many mistakes in that blog post, you would think they were once Stranger writers or something.
Posted by pfffter on February 28, 2013 at 1:30 PM · Report this
Stripes 29
Ahhhh, Strawberry Typo City!!!
Posted by Stripes on February 28, 2013 at 1:36 PM · Report this
30
Well dangit; I was thinking of trying their products, but I only drink low-sanctimony juice.
Posted by MemeGene on February 28, 2013 at 1:43 PM · Report this
31
Also, while I enjoy juice as much as the next person, I'd feel really wasteful throwing away all that perfectly good fiber by not eating those fruits and veggies whole instead.
Posted by MemeGene on February 28, 2013 at 1:44 PM · Report this
thatsnotright 32
Smug self-righteousness is so unattactive. PR fail. What's wrong with having a little fun with your image? Oh, I forgot, they're selling the moral high-ground.
Posted by thatsnotright on February 28, 2013 at 1:46 PM · Report this
33
I read:

'Anna’s avocado taste so good because a week of not eating combined with the “burn” of astringent green juice (with or without STD’s) actually cleans fat off the tongue. '

!!!!!!
Posted by Actionsquid on February 28, 2013 at 1:46 PM · Report this
Bemusedchicken 34
y'all must not be talking about strawberry moon. if she didn't do the fast, she didn't do the fast. some people are getting a little defensive! just like anything..you get what you put in. from my perspective....she could have stated the fast wasn't for her but she went so far as to degrade the benefits of detoxification and enzymes....the fast might not be easy but that doesn't mean it isn't worth doing....watch FAT SICK and NEARLY DEAD to see what can happen if you stick with it....
Posted by Bemusedchicken on February 28, 2013 at 1:54 PM · Report this
35
@21 and @33

"My dinner juice was kale, celery, parsley, dandelion, ginger, and lime. The combo made my mouth burn, like if your front lawn came to life and you gave it a blowjob, and then you found out it had grass STIs." - http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/over-…

This is a quote from the article printed in the paper version of the Stranger, but it was also in the original blog post.

It was a joke from Anna that, when taken out of context like Strawberry Moon Juice did in their blog, seems to imply that Anna is a Dirty Whore with lots and lots of sex mouth disease. Not very nice.

I think Strawberry Moon Juice was just hurt that Anna didn't change her ENTIRE LIFE TO FOCUS ON JUICE!!!!!
Posted by RhymesWithFnarf on February 28, 2013 at 2:31 PM · Report this
Fistique 36
@34: Detoxification is horseshit. Enzymes are bullshit. You are deluded.
Posted by Fistique on February 28, 2013 at 2:37 PM · Report this
seatackled 37
Just be glad they're not a condom company.
Posted by seatackled on February 28, 2013 at 2:40 PM · Report this
38
@34: Read the damn article—Anna DID do the fast. She ate only one avocado in five days (raw food is allowed by the Strawberry Moon people "if you absolutely need to eat," which, um, HUMANS DO).

@people confused by the STIs reference: That's from a very funny description in Anna's article.

And the Strawberry Moon people need to STEP OFF. Just because Anna is a very funny writer does not mean they can impugn her "serious intention." You have to be pretty goddamn serious to not eat food for five days, and Anna is a very responsible person.

http://www.thestranger.com/seattle/over-…
Posted by Bethany Jean Clement on February 28, 2013 at 2:44 PM · Report this
39
Anyone can break their food dependency at any time! All they have to do is commit suicide!
Posted by I have always been... east coaster on February 28, 2013 at 3:11 PM · Report this
Clara T 40
Pseudo-science fucking sucks.
Posted by Clara T on February 28, 2013 at 3:18 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 41
http://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Breatharian…

Jesus christ, I don't know what it is with juicers and raw foodists where they seem to have unfunny eating disorders. I'm on a blog for raw foodies (hey, I like recipes...) and they have regular talks about it as a "cure" for their eating disorder and I get very unpleasant feelings from reading their accounts.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 28, 2013 at 3:39 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 42
@34: " she went so far as to degrade the benefits of detoxification"

This may have something to do with you not knowing what the fuck you're babbling about.
Posted by undead ayn rand on February 28, 2013 at 3:41 PM · Report this
Dr_Awesome 43
Your tongue gets coated with fats, sugars, and all the other gross stuff you eat? And that coating only gets thicker the older you get (and the more of that icky food you eat)?

Shit, from now on I'm seriously sticking with my vodka-martini-only diet.
Posted by Dr_Awesome on February 28, 2013 at 3:44 PM · Report this
44
I'm choosing to read that as "Wrestling, food, and alcohol dependencies are hard."

Something something Slim Jim-infused vodka.
Posted by Ben on February 28, 2013 at 4:00 PM · Report this
Sandiai 45
Thanks for the clarification on the "STI" back-reference everybody.

@34, it's the "enzymes" thing I'm not getting. Since you're obviously from Strawberry Moon Juice, can you tell me more about how eating (or drinking) enzymes is important to one's health?
Posted by Sandiai on February 28, 2013 at 4:18 PM · Report this
Fnarf 46
@45, enzymes are great. Eat a papaya, it won't hurt you. Makes you fart less, and poop mo' betta'. You don't have to juice it, though; you're better off just eating your food like a normal person.
Posted by Fnarf http://www.facebook.com/fnarf on February 28, 2013 at 4:34 PM · Report this
Sandiai 47
[laughing] Thanks, Fnarf.
Posted by Sandiai on February 28, 2013 at 4:50 PM · Report this
Bemusedchicken 49
@45. since you asked nicely....i am actually NOT from strawberry moon nor am i AFFILIATED WITH THEM IN ANY WAY. I do however LOVE juicing and know it has done wonders for me in terms of health. It's not rocket science....by juicing you are blasting a shit ton of nutrients into your body SUPER FAST...it's like a lightening charge of energy....I would encourage you to try it....you dont need to do a fast...simply add it to your daily routine.

@46. normal people don't eat fruits and vegetables. The average american is obese and at risk for a multitude of diseases. instead of thinking of how beneficial it is to instead eat fruits and vegetables...one should look at how much they are actually honestly eating. the average happy meal loving individual will say zero...and that's why juicing is LIKE GOD POURING A VIAL OF LOVE INTO YOUR VEINS. If you aren't getting these vital nutrients at all...this is a way to sort of cheat and get them in.
Posted by Bemusedchicken on February 28, 2013 at 5:47 PM · Report this
gttrgst 50
Can't we just all just juice some poppies and get along?
Posted by gttrgst on February 28, 2013 at 5:57 PM · Report this
51
As best I can tell, the staff of The Stranger is addicted to hijinks.
Posted by midwaypete on February 28, 2013 at 6:28 PM · Report this
52
@49 stop with the preaching already...juice works for you great. stop saving the world already. we're ok.
Posted by Cassette tape fan on March 1, 2013 at 7:08 AM · Report this
53
@49: That is nice and all, but it could be the "pouring of love" directly in that could be causing more problems. When we chew our food, our saliva starts the digestion process (including of sugar), and fiber in the food helps to buffer us from the massive sugar spike we'd get from gulping the juice straight down. This is why I no longer do smoothies - I decided it was better for me to chew and process the ingredients in my mouth first to slow the absorption of nutrients rather than pump it all straight into my stomach. Also, why throw out all that good fiber?

(FYI: I do high-veg low-carb and love me my fruits, but I also am very sensitive to excessive sugar intake, even of natural sugars, if I don't get enough protein and fat to balance it out)
Posted by MemeGene on March 1, 2013 at 7:45 AM · Report this
54
How many of you would pay to read the Stranger ? Mhhmmm
Posted by crybaby studios on March 1, 2013 at 8:35 AM · Report this
undead ayn rand 55
@49: Yeah, you still sound like a shill and understand very little about the human body.
Posted by undead ayn rand on March 1, 2013 at 8:53 AM · Report this
dwightmoodyforgetsthings 56
@49- You make me laugh.

Seriously, blasting your body with nutrients means pissing out a whole lot of nutrients. A healthy, well balanced diet involves chewing every day. Juice fasts, colon cleanses, etc... are sellable gimmicks. The normal American will get healthier if they would exercise a little more, reduce their serving size and eat some more vegetables. Guzzling expensive "health" products for a week is just as effective as buying a bowflex, working out all day for a week, then putting in the basement and forgetting about it.
Posted by dwightmoodyforgetsthings http://www.reddit.com/r/spaceclop on March 1, 2013 at 1:02 PM · Report this
undead ayn rand 57
@56: Right, it's like the people who take megadoses of supplements only to buy themselves very expensive urine.
Posted by undead ayn rand on March 1, 2013 at 4:21 PM · Report this
58
As with most scams, when the gimmick fails, it is always the user's fault, because they were not "good enough" or were "too addicted" to using their teeth for more than Instagram posts.
Posted by MinnySota on March 2, 2013 at 7:28 AM · Report this

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